As transcribed and typed by Benazir Bhutto through the interdimensional portal
Date : 30/12/2007
I died! I am dead!
I must admit that I most certainly did not expect to experience myself as still existing as I am in the moment, and I most certainly did not expect me to actually sit here before a compute within another human beings’, human physical body typing as I am now.
And the most strangest experience of it all: Is the ‘normalcy’ hereof, the comfortability of being here within another human beings’ human physical body – for I am realising that all that really matters is me, here – though this ‘here’ is not defined in ‘space/time’, nor is it defined by environment such being on earth or not on earth any longer – what matters is that I am with me!
And I’ve in this process of dying, discovering the existence of me, realised that what is truly important is me, the realization that I still exist – no matter where I am.
Goodness, one would imagine that constraints in this world such as family, friends, children/child and loved one’s is ‘the most important attributes of self that exists’, which will surpass death and remain within you always – but I have found that this is indeed not so. That even the perceived love we believe ourselves to feel inside ourselves, which presents a connection between us and others, is an illusion – because I am here, I have died and no-one and nothing else of who I had ‘connections’ with, which presumably held us together in some form of a relationship, is no longer here within me, all that exist as me in this moment is who I am – me with myself and that’s it.
This particular experience is quite interesting because I myself don’t experience myself different; I don’t experience a sense of longing as though I’m supposed to hold onto something or someone from this world. I don’t experience myself as leaving someone or something behind – none of this is here within me, really, I am here in this moment expressing me – sharing my experience of me in this moment with you, the reader.
As I have realised that love through relationship connections formed in this world through ourselves with others is an illusion – because that was my experience in this world, which no longer exist here within me as me, so therefore, I have realised that whatever I have experienced in this world with regards to love, relationships of any and all kind was not actually real – together with all the feelings that go with it. Because how can / could it be if such experiences no more exist here as me as I am expressing myself.
And so, I have realised that that which I believed to be of great importance for me in this world – has no importance whatsoever, and that the illusion will leave you. And when the illusion leaves you, you are alone with yourself and then you realise that all that is important is you – who you are with you. Because many, as I have, within this world believes that love and relationships is the most important design that exists within this world – but I would, from my experience, suggest to realise that it is not, and it does not last after death.
Nothing of this world as all that you experience of yourself – exist when you leave this world.
So, in realising that I am alone with me, that all that exist in this moment is me, who I am – much I have come to understand of ‘how the world actually really works’.
Oh – you come to understand and realise much when you are no longer of this world, when there are no more relationships that connect you in bondage to the illusion this world presents as an actual real experience of ourselves.
It must be quite difficult to comprehend for one still of this world hearing such words: That all that you experience within you towards anyone or anything in this world which form some state of relationship connection is but an illusion and not real. I know I would’ve most certainly brushed such words off with: But I am actually feeling, I am actually experiencing myself within me and so it must be real – but even the feeling and experiences within one is an illusion, I have realised.
So with this, in death, I have realised that all that I experienced as me in this world is an illusion that does not conquer death. I see and understand now, the illusion – which would most certainly not have been possible for me in this world within the current positioning of myself.
It is most certainly: Death Conquers All and not Love Conquers All.
One would imagine to experience some form of sadness of dying, of no more existing in this world – but I do not.
An interesting question came up, after I had died: Why did I die?
I laugh when looking at such a question – because it wasn’t asked from an anger within me, or a disappointment, or an unfair or unjust act being done unto me by dying – no.
I asked this question within me because I was curious and intrigued by the entire experience of dying and of death itself, the very existence hereof. Especially due to the circumstance of me realising that I’m still here and that there’s no-one and nothing else ‘out there’ that suddenly decided: Right – you’ve got to go now.
There’s nothing and no-one that decided death FOR ME – so therefore the question: Why did I die?
All that I experienced was me, alone – I am here, alone – so why did I die? Is there a reason? Is it because it just is so? You live for a moment here on earth and then you die? Is this all there is to my existence? Living for a moment here in this world and then dying? But goodness – certainly no being deserves to leave this world in such a way as I did? What is actually really going on?
I desperately wanted to understand why I died – therefore I asked such questions, though none of the questions I asked seemed to target the core of the experience of me. Then I came to ask a question that opened up much for me:
If there is nothing and no-one ‘out here’, within this existence that decided death for me – then who and what is responsible for what is going on in this existence?
Because in realising that nothing and no-one decided death for me – I must be responsible for deciding to leave this world in the moment I did for myself – how exactly I made such a decision, I did not know, though it was quite simple to very quickly understand I decided death for me.
Yes, fear and uncertainty and worry and despair was experienced within me when I observed this existence for a moment – understanding that there is no-one and nothing else but all that currently exist within this existence – we are alone, very much so, responsible for all that is experienced by all in this all encompassing existence.
I wondered whether something is being done, whether there are some, in some way, doing something to help everyone else – to show everyone else that we alone, to let everyone know that we are alone, very much alone, within this existence and that we have to do something to this existence if we’d want our experience to change.
Imagine you being alone within this existence and you seeing, realising and understanding that all that everyone is experiencing is an illusion, is not real and that all of us in this existence are alone and then each one of us individually is responsible for what is currently happening in this existence, this entire existence within which we experience ourselves.
What would you do?
This was my experience. As I realised that all of us in this existence – really incorporating all that exists – is alone here, and us alone are responsible for all and everything we experience in this existence.
How does one let everyone know this? How does one let everyone understand this? How does one let everyone see this? Because if you, as I have, actually know, understand and realise this entirely – one understand the vast problem, the extensive problem we face within this existence we experience ourselves. Because, I have come to understand that unless each and every one actually really know, understand and realise that each one individually and alone, as all of us together is responsible for this existence and how we experience ourselves: What currently exist will continue – and what currently exist is the most unacceptable atrocious manner of living, it is rather shamefully unspeakable – this is what I say.
In this that I have come to understand in experiencing myself after death – I have realised that each one ‘plays a part’ in stopping such a manner of existence we have all for eons of time accepted as a ‘it is just so’ / ‘it is just as it is’ – and as I have come to understand and realise the necessity for me to stand up, to stand as me, each one will come to understand and realise the necessity to stand up, to stand for themselves as themselves.
So we’ll start to stand together, one by one, until we stop and all stand together – to no more accept and allow such an unacceptable atrocious manner of existing and living.
For one point is certain within me: What we have done can no more continue as is any longer – we have to stop.
The urgency for each one to truly really understand this principle of stopping, I cannot fully express in words.
What I mean by stopping is to stop everything and all within you that may still be of this illusion presented in this world as being a apparent ‘real experience’ which gives you the feeling inside you of being alive.
To stop means to really give up everything inside you that is part of and of this illusion presented in this world to all human beings and simply refuse to participate in anything or with anyone of this illusion – but to stand alone with you, by yourself.
Only here you will start seeing, realising and understating the illusion – and start living what is real that is you. Then understand and realise what is necessary to be done in this existence – as I have.
See, in death – the illusion disappears; the illusion is gone – meaning that you experience you alone, with yourself by yourself as I am in this moment.
Herein you see, realise and understand the illusion that has caught the minds of many.
There is indeed a solution. Though the solution is you.
I would say it not be necessary for you to first have to physically die in leaving this world to understand, see and realise our individual responsibility towards ourselves in this existence as I have when I died – but to realise this for yourself here in this world.
The decision made by myself to leave this world in death was done from within the understanding that I would not have been able to realise my individual responsibility towards me in this life I have just come from.
And so it will be with each one – you will make the decision for you whether you’ll realise your self responsibility here in this world in this life or in death. Either way it is truly irrelevant – because what is relevant in this is really only you and you alone.
Because it is us, us alone that have to, that must stop and be self responsible – taking self responsibility in this entire existence for this entire existence – because we’re in it. And what we have made of it through our acceptance and allowance is…
I do not have words for what we have done…
Therefore I would urge for each one reading this to give yourself the opportunity to really understand and realise what it means to with you, you alone – free from the illusion presented to you in this world and take self responsibility for you.
To STOP – because we must STOP – we cannot, under no circumstance possibly continue in this way we have, the way we have always known, the way we have always accepted and the way we have always allowed: This is what I have realised – each one must STOP.