Mother Teresa's story: The life of the saint
Transcribed by and through Andrea
Date : 16/04/2007
Mother Teresa was my name when I walked beside you here on earth. Now you may call me Teresa, Mother is not my name anymore. I was always perceived to be the one soul that abundantly gives so much so, that I would walk amongst thousands to appease their suffering. This I might tell you is here within each one of you, the ability to walk amongst and support others, yet for many life times nobody new any better. Let us look at my story so that we are able to see from what I allowed that all this perceived grace in the world does not have the ability to even save humanity. Grace is not able to save what it is you give power to. I shall share with you a story of my experience when I walked as Mother Teresa, as much as what happened to my own self as I entered ‘God's kingdom here in heaven.
My life was rather complicated even though it seemed the existence of somebody settled within complete peace. Complicated, due to the fact that people saw me as some form of a saviour , which I was most certainly not. The sick wanted me to save them from their suffering, the dying asked me to make sure they reached heaven and those that had hurt and harmed others asked God for forgiveness through me. One person capable of so much persuasion. Silly to think that I was merely a young woman working with sick people when I cured the sickly people that had asked God for a saviour , and I then became their saint. No questions asked, just one plus one or prayer plus prayer equals Mother Teresa, because as you might have noticed I place people in front of their own power and they are healed. Often religious leaders would ask me where and how I became God's saviour. I would ask them (this I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday) whether they have seen God's beauty? They would answer that God has so much beauty that none of us, that have ever walked beneath his golden skies will ever see all of Him. I would then turn and face thousands of sickly people lying by our feet and say: “Here is God, waiting for these people to answer him.” Little did I realize then that this world was feeding from these sick people, asking them to offer what they have in return for nothing. All I did was contribute to this by walking amongst them encouraging them to pray. Prayer, why pray when God is not able to hear you? Was it that difficult for each being to see that while lying beneath the heavens I was the only one assisting them in their own ability to heal themselves. Where was God while I, woman alone walked amongst the dying, suffering, petrified people praying them well? It now feels to me like a bad dream, one that I most certainly will not allow myself to participate within again. All those sick faces, people dying excruciating deaths and I convinced them that God would take care of them. My journey from there took me to far away places, to assist with the suffering and bring them some sense of relief, peace and hope. Once I died I realized that, that which I dedicated nearly 70 years of my life to was merely a voice talking against something that would never give me and these people freedom from suffering. I would probably still be begging for their sake if I had the chance to walk as I was on earth without knowing what it is I have become aware of. I would have walked and spoken words dedicated to God if death did not show me the inevitability of realizing the picture. The picture that I Mother Teresa walked, that which appeared saintly was a lie. I never intended to be the answer to your own lies, that which you perceived real. I was placed as a young woman into this role and remained there until I died. Even on my death bed, people of high status and power asked to sit by my bed side so they could be seen by God. From Russian royalty to the American president all in the hopes that their presence would either save them or give them the thumbs up from the public.
I enjoyed speaking to those that saw themselves beyond sickness, perhaps that was my own saving grace. Please do not judge what I am about to tell you because I do this so that all may understand my experience to be able to be set free. Freedom will be yours, freedom from the idea that anybody is placed here to heal you, to carry your burdens and to feed those lies about your fate. I speak to you from the dimensions and ask that you open what it is you know about human suffering a little bit more, bring into your mind the awareness and I will show you that we are not meant to suffer. We are more than this.
Alongside a river my mother told me a story about grace. She explained to me that all that mattered and all that we should project is grace, peace and love. Without grace you do not have the ability to become God's child and without loving others and showing them peace you are not able to reach Heaven's gates. At this young age of six the idea of grace was daunting because most children do not understand what this means. Grace to such an innocent mind means nothing, as all children know is how to laugh, run and play hide and seek. Yet, I tried everyday from there on to become and walk with grace. It was most difficult for me to become peaceful as I had high amounts of energy! I was a bountiful child, always willing to help my mother clean the house and always ready to laugh and play. Loving was no problem for me because I was by nature a very loving, warm child. I grew up in a big house alongside a river that ran through my home town of Stopje. The time spent growing up truly inspired me as to what is able to be done to assist others. From a young age I was shown human compassion and how you give yourself purpose. We would always have people stay with us that could not take care of themselves, even though it meant we nearly had to sleep two to a single bed! It meant though for us that the protection we could give those suffering without food was all the warmth we required. Luckily our house was fairly large as it was an inheritance from my father's late mother. My mother was extremely devoted to her belief that God watches over people. Growing up it was always my mother that would take care of sick people and cook for them. When my mother asked me to join a convent in 1928 I was relieved. Relieved because finally my time had come to do God's work. We were extremely poor then as my mother was left to care for us after my father had died. When I left to move to the convent my mother reminded me that God will always stay within me and do good things. This of course was the motivation that I had placed within me to assist others, but being none the wiser we said that it was God that had placed his presence within me. In a way, simplistically put, man is aware that he is truly the living God and speaks of it often. How often have you realized that God was your guidance or that you're connected by God's divine will and direction? You always say the words that God is within you. I walked into that convent with the greatest smile on my face. I knew I had reached God's house and I was here so that I would do his work. Little did I know that without me stepping up to do ‘God's' work none of those deeds would have been possible. It takes the human factor to bring forth the will of God. We also don't realize that while we believe in God we actually believe that we have what it takes to be that of the divine living word. No God is able to make you do anything. If you decide to assist yourself do it because you are able to see within you that God is your presence; the living word.
So my years in the convent were spent learning all the stories from the Bible as well as how to become God's worker. We spent many days just looking at what was to be expected from us once we stepped out there to assist mankind. We were shown the scriptures of saints and we were allowed to ‘practice' what it would mean to be a saint. This was done in application by visiting hospitals and pretending to be very saintly indeed. Young girls as we where we had been told that God works through those that are worthy and righteous. So, we would walk amongst the sick in the hospitals with grace and speak gentle words of encouragement. Dressed all in white from head to toe, we would glide amongst the dying like angels and bless their souls. Some of those girls were as young as sixteen and had previously no actual experience speaking to and understanding sick people. They were shown how to be graceful by the older nuns, how to not run around laughing bringing joyfulness, but rather how to project the image of superiority and calmness. Very difficult for most young nuns as they are full of young life waiting to be expressed. Are you able to imagine a child speaking to an elderly dying person about letting go of their grief when most of these children had never before even known sorrow and grief, suffering and pain? Yet, the religious people never ask why they must be told these things by the youngest of beings. They believe whatever these young people tell them because God's words are not able to be false, not even when sixteen year old nuns sometimes get their bible verses mixed up! If God sent a sixteen year old child you listened to even when you knew they only repeated words from the bible or told you that their pain palled in comparison to God's love. So we spent many days walking from hospital to hospital to visit and bring words of encouragement and hope.
One day we were walking back to the nunnery from the district hospital and we saw a man being executed by gunshot right in the middle of town. It was back in the day when any criminal found guilty was executed right there and then, immediately. It shook me so badly that I had to stay in bed from shock for a week. You must imagine our fragile, innocent minds filled with good deeds and thoughts about great things having to witness such brutality. It was then that my faith became absolute. Not because I feared my own consequences but rather because I wanted to save those that required ‘saving'. We had long discussions after that about the fact that the world needed us to go out there and show the power that existed in the absolute mercy of God. If I had known that humans must save themselves I would have started a process of awareness right there and then, instead of only telling them about trusting a God that actually lived inside them as them all along. Instead I showed people how to hide from themselves because religion and saintly beings like myself would always forgive them.