Reply on Open Forum – transcribed and typed by Osho through the interdimensional portal
Date : 17/05/2009
Post by member on OF:I got to a point where i said: till here no further! I wont accept and allow this construct to influence me in my expression. And i stood as that statement unconditionally. Because at that point i was self-honest about what i experience during my daily life, in therms of how i was influenced/limited in my expression. Though this expression is what i have accepted and allowed as me, so i decided to stop. you can only stop something if you actually see what the fuck is going on and seeing what you are stopping. I was really pissed of at myself, so i had to stop this and i stopped unconditionally/absolute even if i had to die! This had to be done for me, because i could not live like that any longer. I decided to face the darkness/ what is here, because i always tried to find a way to not be affected by that which is influencing me till i got to the point where i became it completely, nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from myself as what i have become. No longer try to find a way to not be off it while i became it completely, no longer fighting myself. This time i faced myself. What i faced was far from what i imagined and believed it to be, because it was such i shock, unimaginable, unbelievable. My biggest fear which is loosing self. I pushed trough as i was determined to stop that part of me, stopping myself. I really though i would die, because what i was stopping is all i was. In that moment of shock, the only pillar i had was the breath, which kept me here. Also i used two stability points in the body, those points depending on the system-construct being taken out. I really believed this was the end, because my body was in a complete shock, but i breathed trough it. Trough dedication to myself as standing absolute as: STOP TILL HERE NO FURTHER. It happened in a moment, a severe heart attack. But the interesting thing was that i was still aware and quite calm as the breath while the body is in a severe seizure. Initially there was a lot of fear, fear to stop what i was stopping within me. I feared to die. Did i ever considered this to happen when stopping? No! I had to get this done and i found such a resistance with doing it. It was not fun, yet worth it. The state of being that i wanted to stop was like being possessed by demons, like i was not aware of what i am doing and could not see clearly as my sight was blurry and indirect. When i stood as the statement of stop i could see the demon expression, in my head. I saw what i was in separate entities that had taken over me, and that was what i was trough my daily life, affected/influenced/directed/equal to those entities within me. i was like WTF?? Am i really this? The demons, the biggest one was like a sex desire abuse deception demon, cant even describe the demon expression correctly and exactly. So, what i have been, i could see directly and no longer allow that expression as it made me ineffective in my life, the reason/cause/root of why i was fucked. Understand that it was just just one point/ one construct, yet encompassing the entirety of me. It was to no longer power that entity with energy as it feeds of energy, just stop powering your own demise, just stop. And for the entities to go away, apparently drastic measures was required. A release. I saw how i accepted and allowed those entities to be part of my expression, i saw how i created it, within that i knew how to stop. The truth is horrific. I took it into me, stood equal AS it and the shock emerged. Understand that it is not about ‘getting to’ as it is already here, but i was never self-honest about it. The point where you stand as it it no longer exists and you will go trough a release. Also understand that it is no wonderful, magnificent, peaceful experience the release, it is horrific. When you take out systems, your body goes into a shock. So, after that i obviously started to take out more systems, any i could find within me, till i got to a point where i fucked up. During a realization of a system i was pretending as if i had power, as if i was taking out, as if i was superman taking out a system, while that was not so. Within the delusional euphoric experience of me apparently taking out a system i got stuck in that one point, till this moment, the same construct. Now obviously i became scared of the actual shock during a release, because i fear to loose that sense of being powerful/effective/superman. Super-ego is the point i am still sorting out, to continue my journey.
Perspective from Osho:
The ‘reason why’ you became the point of ‘ego’ in experiencing yourself as ‘superman taking out/taking on a system’ in having ‘power’ over and of them = is because you actually created that Point as yourself within the initial-first-experience within which you believed to be ‘taking out a System’ = when in fact, what you did = is actually perpetuated/powered a System that you became and thus didn’t take out a System – and haven’t, but actually Created your entire experience through the Mind and fuelled the very system/constructed you attempted to/believed to have taken-out. And in this process – experienced ‘in awareness’ a full-blown Mind-take-over within the experience of being possessed by a system/construct. Here’s why and how: I’ll go through the placement of words to give perspective of the separation that existed within the first-experience of ‘taking on the system’ – that actually manifested the opposite as you creating a system that you became that attempted/tried to possess you as a manifested Mind-takeover. Quote:
I got to a point where i said: till here no further! Realise that here – you made a statement of: quote „till here no further!“ – only a statement. You have not yet realised you as the living-expression of ‘till here no further. The living-expression of self as ‘till here no further exist as self not accepting or allowing anything less than the absolute as Life Equal and One – within self, one’s world and all that exist within it – walking ‘till here no further as a living-statement of/as self that is expressed in every moment of breath absolutely as living the directive-principle of/as Life equal and one absolutely. Cool, yes – one get to a point wherein one realise ‘till here no further – however understand that, that realisation is but still a statement and will be useless unless self actually live that statement always from that moment forth as a living-expression of/as self equal and one, absolutely and actualize self as the statement realised in the moment. Otherwise, if not = self-honestly, the statement was then made in reaction to/towards something/someone and will become but a memory and thus invalid/useless and self will time-loop within one’s process to get to the exact-same realisation in a different-way. Until self realise = that I must actually ACTUALIZE myself as a Realisation to be REAL as what I speak and live equal and one here. Thus, living the words I speak and proving this to me through and through in every moment of breath. Quote:
I wont accept and allow this construct to influence me in my expression. Understood – yes, however to assist and support self within certainty is to make sure that self-realise that it is not the construct-itself that is influencing self within self’s expression – but that self is in fact this construct that self is accepting and allowing self to exist as in separation, manifesting self as separation. And thus, it is to practically – in every moment of Breath – transform self in self-awareness, to not accept/allow self to participate/exist as this construct that self see self has accepted and allowed self to be/become in separation. And thus, only through transforming self in living-expression in self-honest self-awareness here in every moment of breath as self participate and live in this world – through simply not accepting/allowing self to be defined/controlled by this construct of self, self has created/manifested as self = will the construct be no More. Understand – self-transformation is only done through transforming self in every moment of breath as you live/participate. Taking out a construct doesn’t mean that self is definitively changed from that part of self, self has created and existed as/through. Taking out a construct/system is merely taking-out that ‘part of self’ that manifested as a system/construct that contain all the manifested intricacies/designs/patterns of past that created the system/construct of/as self, self has existed through/as. The system/construct can be easily re-created by/through self through self accepting/allowing self to again participate in/exist as/be defined by the designs/patterns that formed self as such a system/construct. Taking-out a system/construct is giving self an opportunity to ‘start-again’ / ‘start-over’ so to speak – a ‘blank-slate’ in relation to that part of self as system/construct of Mind self has taken out/removed. Thus, when a system/construct is removed as self – it is self’s responsibility to ensure that self do not accept/allow self to again participate in any of that which the system/construct consisted of/existed as in all forms of behaviour, mannerism, words, thoughts, actions, sound of words etc. and actually in self-awareness as self walk here in every moment of breath and transform self immediately in the moment, self-honestly. Thus, realise the ‘gift’ of systems/constructs: Systems/Constructs is manifested-representations of the nature of self that self is accepting/allowing self to exist as – that manifested within the Physical, created through the Mind as what self currently exist as. Thus why, when removing/taking-out a System doesn’t mean definitive self-change/transformation – self only removed the system/construct-creation as manifested-representation of the nature of self. It is self’s responsibility to from here – change the Nature of Self that the system/construct represented that manifested within/as self’s physicality. The only way to change the Nature of Self – is through living change/transformation – through changing/transforming self in living-application/expression in every moment of breath as self participate/live in this World. So, when seeing a system/construct self has created as self through the Mind as a manifested-representation reflecting the current accepted and allowed lived nature of self as Mind – it is self’s responsibility to change the actual nature of self within living-expression in every moment of breath, through not again participating, not again accepting/allowing self to participate/be/become that nature of self manifested as the system/construct seen. And so, in walking this, in changing/transforming the nature of self in every moment of breath = self-change become actual, real here and definitive. Quote:
Because at that point i was self-honest about what i experience during my daily life, in therms of how i was influenced/limited in my expression. Understand that here – self-honesty is still an ‘understanding of knowledge of what self-honesty is’ that you’re currently applying = you’re not yet self-honesty in actuality that is lived as you equal and one. This indicated through stating:quote: i was self-honest about what i experience during my daily life, in therms of how i was influenced/limited in my expression.– here, ‘self-honesty’ is still being related to/towards ‘what you experience’ and ‘how you were influenced/limited in your expression’ = this indicate that you’re still in the process of realising you as the actuality of self-honesty that you live as you as the living-expression of/as self honesty, wherein self-honesty is not related to/towards something/an experience/even a realisation – but self-honesty that consider all equally as one here as self always in all ways in every moment of Breath = which is the actualization of self as self-honesty. So, realise that – when you still have to be ‘self-honest’ about something/someone/an experience/a realisation, or when you still have to be ‘self-honest’ to/towards something/someone/an experience/a realisation = know that you are not yet actually really self-honesty/self-honest as a one and equal living-expression of/as self = but that self is in the process of becoming self honesty/self-honest equal and one as self as a living-expression that stand absolutely always in all ways. Thus, in this – self-honestly = one cannot yet state that: I am self-honest/self-honesty is what I live as a definitive self-honest statement of ‘who self is’ = because self is not, if self-honest is still something that self must ‘be’ that is related to/towards something/someone/an experience/a realisation or about something/someone/an experience/a realisation. Understand thus, that – in terms of stating quote: i was self-honest about what i experience during my daily life, in therms of how i was influenced/limited in my expression.– you actually only ‘saw’ what you experience during your daily life and in that seeing realised how you influenced/limited your expression. This is the process of seeing and within seeing; realising a point of/about self and then the action taken within that seeing/realising within the principle of equality and oneness in considering Life here as self = is the process of becoming the living-expression of/as self-honesty equal and one here absolutely. Therefore, initially – the ‘Process of becoming the actualization of self honesty in being the living-expression of self honesty absolutely always’ – is through seeing a point, realising what self has accepted and allowed within that point that is seen and then transforming self in living-action in relation to the point seen and what was realised of self within it. Also, to note the statement: quote: how i was influenced/limited in my expression.– indicate that you still experience you being influenced by something/something separate from you, instead of realising that : “It is me accepting/allowing me to influence/limit myself within my current accepted and allowed expression.” Quote:
Though this expression is what i have accepted and allowed as me, so i decided to stop. The decision-made to Stop is cool – however, consider that; if a decision is made, as in for example stopping and that decision is made ‘because of a reason’ instead of a realisation = the decision is made within the starting-point of reaction, and thus the decision to stop, for example – will only last for the moment of the experience of the decision made. Because, if/when it is done within reaction as a reason ‘why I decide to stop’ defined/related to/towards something/someone that validate the decision = self is actually making a statement of Ego to ‘feel better about/of self’ in the attempt to ‘stand-up against something’ from the perspective of blaming that something as being the cause of self’s experience. Thus, in essence – if the decision of stopping is made as a reason used that is something/someone ‘there’ separate from self – it is not a decision that is made, but actually a statement of ‘anger/revenge’ wherein self believe that self is ‘stopping’ / ‘wanting to stop’ – but self won’t and will only perpetuate the anger/revenge within self and give that something/someone self’s ‘power’. So, thus – consider when making decision to stop – that the decision-made become a living-actuality as self in every moment of breath. So self will ensure that the ‘decision to stop’ was not done within reaction to/towards something/someone within the attempt of ‘standing-up against’ that something/someone which manifest/create resistance – because self is not that in fact. Thus, with regards to systems/constructs realise that –you cannot ‘stand-up’ against them within the starting-point of reaction within/as self to/towards them = you’re only reacting to/towards yourself as that system/construct and will within wanting to ‘stand-up against’ the system/construct – create a resistance between you here and you as the system/construct and will thus within this = give your power away to the system/construct, perpetuate the system/construct – so that the system/construct as you, can show you that you’re separating you from the system/construct that is you. Actual standing-up as living the decision as ‘I Stop’ – is realising that: “I am this system/construct, and I change/transform me as this system/construct I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as in every moment of breath as I participate in this world – through stopping me in every moment from accepting/allowing me to exist as this system/construct and so change/transform me in living-expression from existing as a system/construct to living who I am here as life equal and one as all.” So – making a ‘decision to stop’ – doesn’t mean anything, unless self actually live the decision as actually stopping-self in every moment breath and in the stopping, change/transform self in the moment of breath. Quote:
you can only stop something if you actually see what the fuck is going on and seeing what you are stopping. Understand that – you’re always stopping yourself. There exist no “you can only stop something/self if this/if that” – if stopping is defined according to if’s why’s and when’s = this leave room for deception within justification, excuses, and reasoning’s and manifest self within limitation and boundaries when stopping is defined according to ‘rules’. Self know exactly what self is doing/accepting and allowing in every moment – as self know self through and through. Thus, the opportunity to stop exist here always, in every moment of breath – the only step that is required to be taken = IS TO ACTUALLY STOP. Therefore, realise that in stating: quote: you can only stop something if you actually see what the fuck is going on and seeing what you are stopping. – you’re leaving a back-door open to justify ‘moments to come’ wherein you don’t stop – using the excuse of: ‘only being able to stop if I see something/actually see what’s going on/seeing what I’m doing’. Thus leaving a back-door open for/of deception to justify why one is accepting and allowing self to continue in dishonesty and not stopping self. Thus – you either stop you or you don’t = there’s no in-betweens or half-measures or defined within rules of if’s why’s and when’s. Understand – actual real-stopping, is done in every moment of breath as one walk one’s Process here in every moment of breath – it’s not just one decision made to stop and then it’s certain and absolute that self stop/whatever is decided to stop as self stop – self must stop self in every moment of breath – until self as that point actually stop and it no more exist within the necessity to stop, and self from that point-on, then actually LIVE. Quote:
I was really pissed of at myself, so i had to stop this and i stopped unconditionally/absolute even if i had to die! Understand that this is a statement of Ego – revealed within the words: Quote: I was really pissed of at myself, … … even if i had to die! Any statement that is made within reaction of emotion/feeling as a statement related to self, utilizing the words ‘even if I have to die’ together with that statement made within reaction of emotions/feeling = self is attempting to ‘stand-up’ against something in the attempt to ‘Prove something’ = and standing-up against something as the attempt to prove something = is attributes of Ego. So, realise that your starting-point within ‘wanting to attempt to remove a system/construct’ – was within reaction of emotion/feeling related to/towards a part of self as system/construct that you saw as being separate from you, that you believed you had to ‘stand-up against’, which is in essence ‘wanting to fight with it’ – which reveal that you blamed the system/construct for your experience = not realising that that system/construct is you. And thus, that you wanted to remove/get rid of/take-out this system within the starting-point of Blame. To through Blame, validate you removing the system/construct from you – within Ego, to ‘empower yourself as ego’ through removing that which you Blame for your experience/existence of/as you. Thus, in essence = using the ‘believed removal of systems/constructs’ to further your own self-definition of/as Ego of Mind – wanting to ‘spite the system’ through taking it out/removing it = when in fact, all you did = was spite yourself. And furthermore that you believed that, within taking-out this system/construct = that it’ll change you ‘indefinitely’= when, in reality = it’s not the way it works. See how you created/manifested your entire-experience through the Mind within the starting-point of Ego – which revealed within you experiencing yourself much later as ‘super-ego’ as being ‘super-man’ in having power over/of the Systems – revealing that you see and have seen systems/constructs as separate from you = not realising that you are them and that you cannot change within removing a system/construct = only through changing you as that system/construct in every moment of breath as you live/participate in this world, with yourself. Thus, realise that – your whole-experience was done within the starting-point of Ego within using knowledge and information as understanding of for example self-honesty, being unconditional and stopping – because realise that = anything that is done ‘in one moment’ wherein self believe that because self did it in that moment = that it is done infinitely = is a Mind-Fuck, (to place it bluntly) and will manifest a Mind-Fuck (to put it bluntly) as what you experienced within your entire-experience. The expression of self as stopping, self honesty and being unconditional = must be a living-existence of self in self-awareness until self is that In Fact = which takes a process of minimum 7 years within absolute self-discipline and self-dedication. Before that, such expressions as for example stopping, self honesty and being unconditional is still but knowledge and information as understanding that self is in the Process of being/becoming as a living-expression of/as self equal and one as all as Life that stand absolutely, infinitely. Understand that as self is in the Process of being/becoming the actuality of, for example self-honesty, stopping and being unconditional = you’ll notice that self-honesty, stopping and being unconditional is only related to Self and self’s own process within self’s direct-immediate environment. However, when self is In Fact the Actual Living-Expression of/as for example Self-Honesty, Stopping and being Unconditional Here equal and one as All – self-honesty, stopping and being unconditional will be related to all that exist as Self as existence in its entirety and all and everything that exist within and as it as self – wherein no ‘self-alone’ exist within one’s ‘own individual-process’ – but self walk as the Process of/as All equal and one Here as the Living-Expression of/as for example Self-Honesty, Stopping and being Unconditional. Then self is, for example self-honesty, stopping and being unconditional In Fact. Until then, self is but in the process of being/becoming, for example, self-honesty, stopping and being unconditional, wherein, for example, self-honesty, stopping and being unconditional is still but knowledge and information of understanding – that’ll only become an actuality as self, in living for example self-honesty, stopping and being unconditional in every moment of breath = until self prove to self in living-expression that self is that in fact. And it cannot be done in ‘just one moment’ – realise that if anything of this Process could be done in one moment and then its done infinitely = we wouldn’t be where we are now, as we are now in relation to ourselves, the experience of ourselves, the rest of the world and the experience of the rest of the world as ourselves. Thus we say 7 years minimum (if this process is walked in absolute self-discipline and self-specificity) = to ensure that self actualize self here in/as the physical in actually being Real Here – to ensure that self do not exist in knowledge and information as understanding only, that exist in/as the Mind of separation – but actually to, in living the knowledge and information as understanding as self here in every moment of breath = to so Real-ise self in becoming the living-reality of/as words as knowledge and information of understanding. Realise that ‘getting angry/pissed-off’ at yourself still encompass Reaction of Mind – directed to/towards self, inadvertently directed to/towards that which is the cause/source for/of Why Self is pissed-off/angry at self. Then, standing-up is not a self-realised action, but a ‘standing-against’ within the belief/idea that self is ‘angry at self’ – when in fact, self is angry within blame to/towards that which caused the anger within self. For any reaction-experienced within self = there is a Cause, a Source – the cause, the source that self see separate from self that is shown within the very reaction experienced within self = for any reaction experienced within self – indicate that self has separated self from a particular part of self, wherein that particular part of self is the cause/source that initiated the reaction. Thus realise that – if self state, for example: quote: I was really pissed of at myself, … – you’re actually stating that you’re angry at that which caused the reaction of you experiencing anger/being ‘pissed-off’ = and thus in itself a Reaction of Mind – wherein it is suggested to investigate ‘what caused this experience of being pissed-off at myself’ – wherein self will within/during the investigation realise that self is actually not pissed-off/angry at self, but pissed-off/angry at a part of self, self has separated self from – directing blame – instead of realising that being pissed-off/angry at self/something or someone is useless as its a reaction of Mind that’ll only perpetuate and power the cause/source and only make the experience worse. Therefore, if any action/application is done within the starting-point of being ‘pissed-of at self’ – the starting-point is still Mind, and thus not standing-up – but actually a ‘defense-reaction’ against that which self blame/pin-point as being the cause/source for why self is experiencing being pissed-off/angry = and will thus, within the action/application expressed within the starting-point of Mind as being ‘pissed-off/angry at self’ = power, charge and feed that which self direct blame towards. Thus – here also why/how you created your experience with regards to the System through the Mind – you ‘played into the hands of the Mind’ through believing that standing-up is getting ‘pissed-off/being angry at self’ that initiate an ‘energy-charge’ which self use to validate the experience within self of ‘wanting to stand-up’ = but all you did was attempt/try to ‘fight the system’ through getting angry at yourself and using that reaction of Mind in an attempt to ‘stand-up against the system’. Through this – you manifested the System, powered the system and charged the system within and as your physical-human-body which manifested the experience of ‘having a heart-attack’ = but it wasn’t a heart-attack. What you experienced is what happens if you charge/power a system within/as the human physical body through a starting-point of self of Mind as energy of reaction – wherein the System ‘expands’ within the Physical. And because Systems are limited within their design, they can only ‘expand’ within a certain-amount of Energy – and because you became the starting-point of/as energy-reaction as anger, you in that experience constantly ‘fed the System’ the energy you manifested as you as anger in the beginning. And as you fed the System energy, the System expanded into and as the physical more and more and more throughout the duration of the experience – that manifested as the Pain you experienced as though it was a heart-attack, but was actually the system ‘growing in expansion’ within and as the physical body. The ‘release’ you experienced was when the System released the excess energy-build-up within itself into and as your unconscious-Mind within and as the human physical body = and thus provided the energy you created you as, as starting-point of/as anger that you fed to the System – to the rest of the systems manifested within/as the human physical body. Thus – you became an ‘energy-power source’ for/of the Mind in that moment – feeding it Energy. Thus why/how you perpetuated and powered a manifested-system within you, and didn’t actually remove it = but charged your entire Mind Consciousness System with Energy you became due to your starting-point in approaching systems/constructs within and as you being that of separation within/as reaction of Mind. Therefore, you ‘in essence’ experienced, ‘in awareness’ within the physical, ‘to the extreme’, how systems/constructs are perpetuated/powered through self doing/expressing an action in being the starting-point of reaction as Energy – and what the Physical human body within this process actually experience – as self feed a system energy that self accept and allow self to be and become. So, ‘unconditional-stopping’/absolutely is not an Ego-statement made within reaction to/towards a part of self, in becoming energy and exerting that energy to/towards that part of self as system/construct self has separated self from – that do not stop self nor that part of self as system/construct, but actually re-generate/perpetuate self-definition/experience of Mind and thus charge/power that part of self as system/construct. Unconditional stopping, is stopping self within self-realisation that is done in the moment, every moment of breath – it is not a ‘fight’ against something/someone, it is not experienced as a ‘resistance’ to/towards something/someone – it’s simply self-realising that I cannot accept/allow myself to continue existing/functioning as this, therefore I unconditionally assist and support me in stopping me in every moment from accepting/allowing me to exist as/function as what I have defined me as in separation. This living-application of ‘unconditional stopping’ is simply done within the simplicity of breath. Stopping is simplicity – yes one has to ‘push self in self-movement’ within the moment of stopping as the expression of self as stopping – but it’s not something that’s done within reaction/forced through reaction = then it’s not real, but a mind-generated energy that self become, wherein self feed the Mind instead of ‘freeing’ self, so to speak. Quote:
This had to be done for me, because i could not live like that any longer. I’d suggest living this statement as an expression of/as self as: “This has to be done for me as all as one as equal, because I will no longer accept/allow myself to live like this any longer and no-one else as myself.” Herein – living this statement as an expression of/as self in every moment – self will transform self into and as a living/example of equality and oneness within the principle of what self will accept and allow and what not – and stand as that absolutely, equal and one as all until it is done, until all walk as the principle of equality and oneness as life to so Birth Life from the physical Here. Quote:
I decided to face the darkness/ what is here, because i always tried to find a way to not be affected by that which is influencing me till i got to the point where i became it completely, nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from myself as what i have become. No longer try to find a way to not be off it while i became it completely, no longer fighting myself. This time i faced myself. Cool that you have seen that you’ve always tried to find a way not to be affected by what is here which you accepted and allowed to influence you, and no more accepting/allowing self to be of it from the perspective of being defined by it – however, understand that you cannot ‘fix everything’ in one moment – you ‘walk through’ manifested-consequence as facing you in the physical as you participate in this world in every moment of breath, and stand in every moment of breath as you face you as what you created/designed/manifested as you in separation of you as all that exist in/as the Mind Consciousness System. Facing what is here is done in every moment of Breath – in actually walking the living-statement of what self will accept and allow and what not within the Principle of Equality and Oneness as All. Understand that – nothing is influencing you = you’re always accepting/allowing you to be influenced within your very acceptance and allowance – so, you cannot be ‘affected by something/someone that is influencing you’ – you’re the one accepting and allowing you to be affected by that something/someone and within that, accepting and allowing you to be influenced’. So, when you see the point of what you’re accepting and allowing you to be affected by – realising that the ‘seeing thereof’ mean nothing – what does determining the effect of that seeing is self, within either living the realisation of the point seen in every moment of breath or only believing that that moment of seeing is the ‘end-all’ of that point, wherein self will within self’s experience in this world within events = reveal to self that seeing mean nothing unless self live the realisation of the point seen. So, in seeing the point of what you’re accepting and allowing you to be affected by – it’s to live the self-corrective action as not accepting/allowing self to be affected by that particular-point – which is done in every moment as asserting self in the moment and standing-up through stopping and transforming self within self-direction in the moment. Then, also Self-Forgiveness to identify the intricacies and specificities of why self has/is accepting/allowing self to be affected by that/a particular point – to in the identifying of the intricacies and specificities of the design of the point, be able to stop self within specificity and detail from again accepting/allowing self to be affected by that/a particular point within specificity and detail. Observe the statement: quote: This time i faced myself. – what does it imply? It implies that all the previous ‘times’ you didn’t face yourself, which means that you didn’t stop you in the moment immediately, but accepted and allowed the Mind of constructs and systems to run you for you. Thus – the question: How did you create this moment-experience within which you believed you ‘faced a system’/‘took out a system’, but actually designed a moment within which you perpetuated/powered/charged a system? ‘Unconsciously’ – because you didn’t stand-up in every moment as the living-expression of stopping in/as self-realisation, you ‘build-up’ anger within and as yourself, actually towards you – indirectly to/towards the mind as constructs/systems for/of your experience. Because of this – you wanted to ‘fix’ what you accepted and allowed in ‘one moment’ – by using the anger you build-up over time within and as you as manifested blame to/towards the systems/constructs for/of the experience you were having within you = the experience that you accepted and allowed by not stopping you here in every moment. You wanted to attempt to ‘take back your power in one moment, by fixing what you accepted and allowed as ‘giving your power away to them by not stopping you in every moment here’ – by being ‘power over and of the systems/constructs’, by wanting to ‘show/prove’ to the systems/constructs that you are ‘more than them and can ‘fuck them’ by removing them/taking them out – because of what ‘they’ are doing to you/have done to you = which you actually accepted and allowed. See = it’s revenge – your starting-point within anger of removing/taking out the systems/constructs was manifested-revenge – avenging that which you blame for your experiences within/as you – that which is you as systems/constructs – thus, you attempted to avenge you = which is impossible. So, that whole moment-experience was self-created within the act of revenge to/towards the systems/constructs – wherein you wanted to attempt to ‘prove your power’ over/of the systems through/by ‘fighting them’ = which is also why the pain manifested in/as your physical as it did. In essence, attempting to ‘fight yourself’ = which is impossible. To attempt to within/as fighting them within the act of revenge as build-up anger – ‘take back your power’ that you ‘gave away’ in moments that you didn’t stop and stand-up, then within the starting-point of blame to/towards the systems – wanting to ‘fix’ what you accepted and allowed through many moments, in one-moment by avenging what you accepted and allowed – through using the systems/constructs to do so. Know, that when the statement, quote: This time i faced myself. / This time I will face myself – is used: You’re attempting to apply an action/application/expression in justification to validate why you didn’t stand-up and stop in every moment of breath ‘in the past’ – and you’re attempting to ‘take back your power’ / ‘stand-up’ / ‘stop’ within blame/anger in the attempt to ‘fix’ in one-moment what you’ve accepted and allowed in the past = which will only create a time-loop for yourself = because you’re not facing yourself, you’re not stopping and you’re not standing-up = only attempting to justify and excuse why you haven’t. So, when you realise/see what you’ve accepted and allowed in the past within for example, not stopping, not self-forgiving and in that not facing you in self honesty = realise that, the consequences manifested from that, is already done = you cannot fix it in one-moment, you cannot remove/take-out the problem in one moment within the act of revenge as starting-point of blame/anger. Nor can you be/become angry or judge or go into guilt/self-pity = you’ll only create a time-loop for yourself if your starting-point is reaction of Mind and within that reaction of Mind, only feed the definition/belief of yourself of Mind even further = and thus only worsening the process for yourself. You Breathe – and you walk and assert and discipline you to not accept/allow what you’ve done again = and you continue to walk so in every moment of breath as self honesty, self forgiveness, stopping and so transforming self as the moment, in the moment here in walking as the principle of life equal and one as all. Quote:
My biggest fear which is loosing self. I pushed trough as i was determined to stop that part of me, stopping myself. I really though i would die, because what i was stopping is all i was. Understand that ‘stopping all that you are/were’ – is not something that is done in one-moment, yet = it is for a certain-perspective – as you’ll realise that whatever we’re experiencing within this existence in its entirety as/with all that exist = is but a Moment in the ‘grand scheme of things’. So, be cautious as the Mind can play at your greatest desire and your greatest fear – making you believe it to be real = when in fact, it is not. Stopping all you are and where from the perspective of ‘you as the Mind-manifest’ in its entirety – encompass the Conscious Mind (thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures, memories), the Subconscious Mind (personality formations, habits, behaviours, mannerism, Ego, personas) and the Unconscious-Mind (existence and all that exist within it as reality created of/through/as the Mind i.e. World-System, War, Money-System, Poverty etc.) – so, you start with yourself as the Conscious and Subconscious Mind, then you expand your application as living-example to/towards your World then the World in its entirety. This is a Process – that is walked in every moment of breath – wherein one walk the process of actualizing you as the living-word/as living-words – wherein one become, for example, the living-actuality in/as the physical as equality and oneness as life. Before that, as I explained – you’re still in the process of realising you equal and one as the physical as words that is still only understood as knowledge and information. Realise that: You aren’t ‘lost’ – you never were. I’d more look at it being that – we’ve been ‘pre-occupied’ within and as our own creation as/of ourselves as Mind, diverting our attention to/towards a designed-creation of/as ourselves – not realising that it is us here, and that we are here – but separated ourselves from ourselves. Now we’re in the process of realising: I’m here – whatever exist as it exist is me here as I’ve accepted and allowed me to be/defined me as/exist as – now I amalgamate me with me here – and stand-up equal and one as all, and emerge as Life, for I realise the consequences of what I created in separation of me/with me and I no longer/no more accept/allow me to exist as I have. So I stand-up and walk equal and one as all in every moment of breath, until Life as who I am here, who I really am here – is Here in living-manifestation in/as the Physical that is Here as me as All as One as Equal – and so Birth Life from the physical. I’d suggest living self-determination in every moment of breath – realising that I determine me, and all that exist in my world and the world in its entirety as me in every moment of me as what I accept and allow me to be/live. Thus, within this realisation/understanding that I am the determining-factor as source that direct the outcome/outflow of every moment – I push/force me within self-determination to live self-honesty, self-responsibility, self forgiveness – as stopping that which I’ve accepted and allowed within manifested-consequence as separation. Quote:
In that moment of shock, the only pillar i had was the breath, which kept me here. Also i used two stability points in the body, those points depending on the system-construct being taken out. Understand that, when taking-out systems – you are Breath, you are Here and you, yourself is Stability in fact – thus, you, yourself is the Pillar that Stand. For only in standing so – is system/construct-removal able to be done equal and one here. Thus – the entirety of you here is the physical equal and one, standing equal and one with/as the physical in/as stability, breath and silence – in standing so – only in standing so, can you remove systems/constructs manifested within/as the physical. And you have proven to you over and over and over again in living-application – that you are in fact, stable – stability as nothing/no-one moves you, you experience no energy/reaction = you’re actually Here manifest in living-actuality. Removing systems/constructs from within and as the Physical is a process of literally ‘tearing/ripping’ it out of/from within the Physical – this is why the pain-manifest/is experienced as such systems/constructs is amalgamated/infused within/as the physical in its entirety. Thus, in removing-systems – you must be stability in fact, here in fact and equal and one as/with the physical in fact – and have proven to you in living-expression/application that you’re no more of the Mind, that you’ve actually self-realised you here equal and one as the Physical. Because if you’re still of the Mind, and you’re wanting to remove-systems – systems/constructs of Mind which still define/determine you – you’ll be possessed/taken over by it as you charge it with energy due to you existing in separation with/as you as the physical and still only just existing as Mind, because you’re still that system, that construct in/as the physical of Mind which you’re still accepting/allowing you to exist as. Thus, realise – you will not be able to take-out or remove systems – unless you have transcended those systems/constructs in living-application in every moment of breath – that you have proven to you in living-application in every moment of breath that you are no more defined/determined/existing as those constructs/systems of Mind. Then only – can you remove/will be able to remove those systems/constructs from within/as the physical = because you know ‘who you are’ in fact, here equal and one as the physical that you stand as through and through in/as the physical equal and one, absolutely. Understand what taking-out/removing systems actually entail: You’re the physical here equal and one as stability as breath – at the same time, you stand as the system/construct that is infused/amalgamated in/as the physical that you ‘stand-up’ as – meaning, as you are the Physical Here in fact which is you as the stability-stand as breath – you ‘take you as that part of you as the system/construct-manifest that you stand-as, out, literally removing you from you – as you pull yourself out, which the experience-thereof physically is more like ripping yourself out – from within and as the physical that is you. It’s like being in two-positions at once/at the same time – as you are the physical-manifest infact equal and one here, and at the same time standing as the system/construct, within the system/construct and removing you as the system/construct from within you as the Physical = until only you as the physical equal and one here remain as the absolute silence of sound as manifested darkness. Thus, realise that – removing systems/construct is not a ‘separate-act’ – it’s not you standing here and taking-out something ‘there’ – No. It’s you as the physical, removing you as the system/construct-manifest from the physical that is you – as you stand as that system/construct and stand-up as it, wherein that standing-up is literally ‘ripping you as it out of the physical as all parts its integrated/infused into and as’ – while you at the same-time stand as absolute-stability here equal and one as the physical. Thus why, also – why systems/constructs cannot ‘just be removed’ if you’re not equal and one here as the physical in fact – you must be as the physical, standing here as absolutely-stability – to be able to remove a system/construct in actuality/ Because realise – systems/constructs won’t just ‘budge by themselves’ – you must integrate you into and as them, and take them out/remove them as you – you stand in/as that system/construct and you remove you from within/as the physical that you = it’s all you. Once that’s done = what remain is you here as the physical, that is all equal and one Here. Thus – no-one will be able to remove systems if they’re not equal and one here as the physical. Removing systems/constructs from within/as the physical is no ‘game’ – it’s very much real – as the systems/constructs is literally infused/amalgamated/integrated within and throughout the physical as its muscle-tissue, veins, atoms, cells, DNA etc. = and one must be the physical in fact here equal and one, to support you as the physical equal and one while/during you remove you as that system/construct in self-awareness here – which is quite a process/procedure. Quote:
I really believed this was the end, because my body was in a complete shock, but i breathed trough it. Trough dedication to myself as standing absolute as: STOP TILL HERE NO FURTHER. It happened in a moment, a severe heart attack. But the interesting thing was that i was still aware and quite calm as the breath while the body is in a severe seizure. Initially there was a lot of fear, fear to stop what i was stopping within me. I feared to die. So, what you experienced with regards to your physical going into ‘shock’ – is you ‘shocked the system’ – meaning you gave the system in/as the physical a sudden-intense upload of energetic-electricity due to your starting-point of/as intense-energy build-up of/as anger – anger which is one of the most intense energetics a being through the Mind produce. Which is why, previously, when demons still existed = one of their ‘favourites’ was the energy of anger. All-in-all, what you experienced within the above-description is that of a system/construct integrating/expanding into and as the physical which manifest intense-pain and an ‘energy-overload’ which manifest ‘seizuring’. ‘Seizures’ is related to ‘excess energy-charge’ that a system/construct experience within and as the physical – when there’s an ‘energy-overload’ so to speak in/as that system/construct – and the system/construct will ‘overload’ itself as far as it can stretch itself, to gather/absorb as much energy it can take/handle – to be able to distribute as much energy as possible to the rest of the systems/constructs manifested within/as the physical. So, know – that when you experience ‘seizures’ – that you’ve ‘over-charged’ a particular construct/system with energy that is experiencing an ‘overload’ that manifest as seizures within and as the physical, and the pain that go with it, is that system/construct integrating/expanding itself into and as the physical as much as possible – rooting itself into/as the physical as deep and as far as it can go – to further the surety of its own existence within/as you. Thus, due to your initial starting-point being that of anger as manifested revenge as wanting to attempt to take-out/remove a system which manifested the attempt to fight against it – you created massive resistance to/towards that system, and in that massive resistance as energy and starting-point of/as anger as energy = you powered/charged the system with that energy and continued to power/charge the system with that combined-energy as you continued within your ‘fight of resistance’ = which manifested physically as pain and seizuring, as though you were having a heart-attack – but what you experienced was a ‘shock to the system’ in/as the physical due to the energy-overload the manifested-systems in/as the physical experienced. Understand – when taking out systems: NO ENERGY IS INVOLVED – not your starting-point, not you – you’re absolute clarity, stability, SOUND, HERE as eternal-silence equal and one as the Physical – because in attempting to/trying to ‘remove systems’ within the starting-point of energy, even the slightest-experience/reaction – you’ll only be feeding the systems/constructs energy and intensifying your own process. So, for example – in going into fear while/when/before/during taking-out a system/construct – STOP immediately – because in that fear you’re already indicating to you = that you don’t know what you’re actually doing and that your starting-point isn’t clear – and all that you’ll be doing through accepting/allowing Fear – is opening a door for the System to Possess you. Because the system will immediately ‘lock-into’ that fear-reaction, ‘absorb the energy-charge of/as that fear’ and as it absorb the fear – it’ll amalgamate and integrate into/as the physical even further – taking you over, possessing the physical for/as you – and lock you thus, further into/as the Mind. Rather Stop – prepare yourself effectively – realise that within the fear-reaction existing, you’re not equal and one here as the physical, you didn’t stand as the system/construct equal and one and stood-up as it out of the physical as you – but you’re still existing in separation of the physical and the system/construct you’re removing = as fear indicate accepted/allowed separation within inferiority/superiority wherein you see you as less than the system, thus fearing it – and in fearing it, you’re in that fear accepting/allowing the system to take control over/of you. Also realise that when taking-out systems, you won’t experience ‘seizures’ – you’ll experience pain, yes – intense-pain during the procedure, but your physical-body will be ‘still’ – because as you become that system/construct, meaning stand as it entirety/completely – to stand-up as it in removing you as it from within/as the physical = the physical literally STOP for a moment as all that you remain-as is one-atom of/as the physical as Here, while you remove you as that system/construct = then, once it’s done – you remain here in/as the physical in its entirety and as breath – breathe you here as the Physical in its entirety – breathing yourself into and as the physical – so to speak. So – yes, when removing extensive-systems from within/as the physical, your ‘heart-stop’ as your physical-body stop for a moment and you stand absolute, remaining in/as the physical as it stop while you remove you as that system from within/as the physical in its entirety, wherein you remain within/as one-atom during the procedure. Why the physical-stop, why you stop as the physical and stand absolute so only remaining existent within and as one-atom of/as the physical – is because: Systems/constructs thrive on the functionality of the physical, on the physical-energy that is produced as the physical function with the heart-beat and all that go with it. So – when the physical-stop as the heart-stop – the system ‘detach’ in that moment entirely and completely from within/as the physical, because it’s ‘root-platform’ as the physical-produced energy has stopped – and the system ‘retracts’ so to speak – released from all the ingrained/intertwined points it rooted itself into and as the physical. Then you stand-up as that system/construct and ‘pull you out’ as that system/construct from within/as the physical – and the system/construct will ‘fight’ and attempt to ‘attach onto’ the physical – but you continue to pull/stand-up and take you as that system/construct out-of the physical. This is why its imperative to be the physical in actuality – because when the physical-stop as the heart-stop – you must be the physical to be able to remain as only one-atom of/as the physical, to remain here in/as the physical as one atom of/as the physical while you remove that system/construct as you stand as it in getting it out of the physical. For the moment it is released from within/as the physical – in pulling it out completely/entirely – and its out – it not more exist. It’s the same as with beings in death – you, the being is ‘released’ from the physical and cross-over while the physical-remain and return to the earth. However, there is no ‘hereafter’ for Systems – they cannot exist without the physical, the being within it together with the Mind Consciousness System that make/define the system and its existence that is manifested-illusion a reality as something ‘real’ – when in fact, it is nothing = as is revealed that it literally go to ‘non-existence’ when pulling it out of/removing it from the physical, from you that is here as the physical equal and one as Life. Realise that = whatever you can remove = is not Real. Thus, I’d suggest – first walking process here in the moment, every moment of breath –actualize self as the living-word in being the physical equal and one here and being the living-proof of this for self as all as one as equal – herein, removing systems becomes a unconditional-expression that is done for all as one as equal – and not only related to self/self alone = but done for all as self here. Quote:
I really believed this was the end, because my body was in a complete shock, but i breathed trough it. Trough dedication to myself as standing absolute as: STOP TILL HERE NO FURTHER. Did i ever considered this to happen when stopping? No! I had to get this done and i found such a resistance with doing it. It was not fun, yet worth it. The state of being that i wanted to stop was like being possessed by demons, like i was not aware of what i am doing and could not see clearly as my sight was blurry and indirect. When i stood as the statement of stop i could see the demon expression, in my head. I saw what i was in separate entities that had taken over me, and that was what i was trough my daily life, affected/influenced/directed/equal to those entities within me. i was like WTF?? Am i really this? The demons, the biggest one was like a sex desire abuse deception demon, cant even describe the demon expression correctly and exactly. So, what i have been, i could see directly and no longer allow that expression as it made me ineffective in my life, the reason/cause/root of why i was fucked. Understand that it was just just one point/ one construct, yet encompassing the entirety of me. It was to no longer power that entity with energy as it feeds of energy, just stop powering your own demise, just stop. And for the entities to go away, apparently drastic measures was required. A release. I saw how i accepted and allowed those entities to be part of my expression, i saw how i created it, within that i knew how to stop. The truth is horrific. I took it into me, stood equal AS it and the shock emerged. Understand that it is not about ‘getting to’ as it is already here, but i was never self-honest about it. The point where you stand as it it no longer exists and you will go trough a release. Also understand that it is no wonderful, magnificent, peaceful experience the release, it is horrific. When you take out systems, your body goes into a shock. So – the manifested-act of what you experienced = was experiencing being Possessed by a System/Construct within literally being taken-over by the Mind. Thus, what you experienced is a full-blown Mind-Takeover as I stated in the beginning of the document. Because you continued to act within the starting-point of/as you as energy of Mind that you continued to generate as you created resistance to/towards the system/construct of Mind within your starting-point being of separation – the system/construct expanded to such an extent within the energy-overload – that you ‘opened the door’ for possession/being taken-over by the Mind itself. The Mind-itself as you in though and reaction initiating this take-over/possession through accepting/allowing you to access/go into/become anger directed to/towards the systems/constructs, wherein you acted within/upon that anger and in turn, fed the Mind it’s power/charge as energy that you provided through accepting/allowing you to become anger. So, – You may have thought/believed that you were taking-out a system/construct – but what you actually did was stand-up from a mind-takeover/possession within using breath and standing as quote: „STOP TILL HERE NO FURTHER“ – without even realising it. Within/during mind-takeovers/possessions – you’re ‘conscious’ of the experience as you literally ‘see yourself being taken-over and possessed’ and the details/intricacies of the particular system/construct take-over of Mind within and as you of the physical. And as it take-control the physical experience ‘convulsions’ as ‘seizures’ as the system/construct integrate/infuse itself into/as the physical = which you, within the Mind – ‘shoved to the back of the Mind’ see happen ‘before you’ so to speak. Therefore, – what you saw of/as the system/construct of Mind as the demons, the entities and the quote: „sex desire abuse deception demon“ as you described it – is the nature of the system/construct of Mind that you experienced/saw during its attempted possession/take-over – with you being the observer within and as the Mind of this whole-entire experience – you saw/experienced the entire nature of the particular system/construct of Mind. And also, thus – within being the observer within this entire-experience – you could also see how that particular system/construct of Mind that you accept/allow to exist in/as you influence/direct/control you as the being accepting/allowing you to exist in/as/of the Mind in/as the physical – and how the existence of you as that system/construct of Mind direct/control/influence the experience of you here in/as the physical. Thus, realise that – what happens with regards to mind-takeovers/possessions: Is that, you as the being within/as the Mind, is ‘shoved to the back of the Mind’ – ‘shoved to the back of the Mind’, from the perspective that – you’re ‘centralized and encased’ into and as a ‘mind-dimensional pocket’ within and as the Mind – as the Mind take ‘full-control’ of/as the physical. So, you’re still in the Mind – but at the same-time ‘separated from it’ for a moment – this is where/when you experience ‘observer-status’ of the Mind-system/construct as the nature/design it exist as and the influence/affect it has on you, the being in/as the physical. Which is also why the physical-body go into ‘seizuring’ – because all that now exist within the physical is the energy-overload charge of/as the Mind-system/construct that is in the process of integrating/infusing itself in the physical – shoving you into an ‘centralized-space’ within and as the Mind, separating you from the mind and physical-body for a moment so that you don’t influence the integration-process of/as the Mind in/as the Physical. The moment you’re ‘separated’ – yet still in the Mind – the body go into ‘shock’ as the mind consciousness system go into shock – because its main power-source is not amalgamated into/as it – but necessary, so that this one system/construct with all the energy its existing as can effectively integrate/infuse into/as the physical, while building-up energy that its deriving from you the being as the reaction you’re existing within, within that centralized-space in/as the Mind. Then, once the particular mind-construct/system is satisfactorily integrated/infused, the Mind Consciousness System ‘return you back to itself’ as pulling/amalgamating you into and as the Mind Consciousness System again – and the effectively-integrated/infused system/construct then distribute all the energy throughout the Mind Consciousness System to all other systems/constructs. When possessions/mind-takeovers go this far – wherein the systems/construct infuse/integrate effectively in and as the physical, wherein it then take complete/total control of/as the physical – where-after the Mind Consciousness System ‘re-amalgamate’ you with itself, from where it separated you into the ‘centralized-space’ of/within the Mind = the Being goes ‘Mad’ / ‘Insane’ as it is referred to as. Because now, that particular system/construct that integrated/infused itself into/as the physical is in full complete control of/as the Physical through the Conscious-Mind with ‘support’ from the Mind Consciousness System in its entirety – wherein the Conscious-Mind is now controlled by a system/construct of the Mind that took-over/possessed you – and you’re no more ‘conscious’ within the Conscious-Mind, you’re existent/placed ‘underneath it’ so to speak. So, – I’d suggest realising gratefulness – that you could remain with breath, actually stand-up through standing as the expression of ‘till here no further’ and stop a mind-take-over/possession experience/manifestation from taking-place – through literally stopping by not accepting/allowing the system/construct to take you over/possess you. And within this – fortunately – it didn’t get as far wherein you were ‘shoved into the centralized-space’ as a ‘dimensional-pocket’ in/as the Mind, because when this manifest = you literally lose total-control of the physical, and your physical-body contorts with drool dripping for your mouth as the system/construct of Mind take full-control of the physical – and you’re stuck in the Mind with no ‘power’ at all as you see yourself being possessed/taken-over. With you being able to remain with breath – you were able to remain with the physical, and with you standing as the expression of/as stop and ‘till here no further – you had that as your stability to be able to stand-up from the mind-takeover/possession. That’s why your experience of/as the system/construct takeover/possession of Mind was so ‘intensely-experienced’ and why you could still see the nature of the systems/constructs of Mind, how you create/design/empower/charge them and the consequence you create through them – even though you weren’t completely/entirely separated into/as the ‘dimensional-pocket’ as centralized-space in/as the Mind – because you were with the physical as you remained with breath, you physically experienced this entire-event. So – in this whole experience – you saw you as the Mind, as the systems/constructs you define you as and accept/allow you to exist as of Mind, how you power/charge them and in that, how you accept/allow all of it to influence/dictate/control/direct/affect you in/as the physical, your world and your experience within it – basically saw/experienced the detail of it all. Though realise that = you didn’t stop the Mind, nor the systems/constructs you experienced/saw = you only stopped the Mind from taking you over and the systems/constructs that you saw/experienced from possessing you – from leaving you mad/insane the rest of your life-experience in this world. However – here is a ‘gift’ within it all – that is: 1. You now saw, for yourself, the existence of you in/as the Mind and the systems/constructs you’re accepting/allowing you to exist as within/as the Mind that you’ve accepted and allowed you to define you as/live through. 2. You now saw, for yourself, the nature and design of the systems/constructs of Mind that you accepted and allowed yourself to define the experience/manifestation of ‘who I am’ as Personality of Mind. 3. You now saw, for yourself, how you, within accepted and allowed participation/living as existing as these systems/constructs of Mind through accepted and allowed self-definition – manifest your world, you and your experience within it as the consequence that is created from such an accepted and allowed existence through/as the Mind of constructs/systems. 4. You saw, for yourself, how you, yourself are creating/generating/empowering/charging these systems/constructs of Mind that you’re accepting/allowing you to exist as/function through. 5. You now experienced, for yourself: What Mind is as systems/constructs and who you are here. Thus, the Gift, within this all = is that – with you identifying, through seeing these systems/constructs of Mind, what they are, how you generate them/charge them and the consequences they manifest = be able to effectively, in every moment of breath – assist and support you to stop and stand-up within self-forgiveness and self-corrective action as self-honesty here in breath – to not accept/allow you to exist through/as systems/constructs of mind through accepting/allowing you to charge/power them through attention/participation/self-definition that only create consequence – but actually self-express you here. Realise that – stopping the Mind in its entirety – is not something that’s done in one-moment. Because the Mind as all it exist as the Conscious-Mind, the Subconscious-Mind and the Unconscious-Mind as what you exist as is integrated/amalgamated and infused into/as the Physical in its entirety. Thus, if you as the Mind Stop, suddenly, without you being in/as the Physical = you’ll die/go insane/mad – because you’re only existing in/as the Mind. Understand that, at the moment – you’re existing in the physical THROUGH THE MIND, you’re not yet equal and one as the physical itself. Watch for example the Movie ‘Shine’, which has been discussed on Forum with regards to what happens, for example – when the Mind Stop suddenly and you’re not equal and one as the Physical as the directive-expression of/as the Physical.
A few more points to be considered within the statements as explanation of your experience you made above: Quote:
like i was not aware of what i am doing and could not see clearly as my sight was blurry and indirect. When this is experienced during such an event that manifest of mind-takeover/possession = it indicate the system/construct of Mind in the process of taking full control of/as the physical – because the system/construct within its integration/infusion-process cause total disarray in/as the physical with many dimensional-shifts – due to the Mind Consciousness System as the ‘stabilizing-platform’ within and as the physical for/of the systems/constructs being stopped for a moment – it manifest as blurry/indirect-vision. Here – you continue breathing – remain here as breath as remaining standing stable here – Breath, breathing here and being definitive within your decision of what you’ll accept and allow and what not and remaining standing as that absolute = will ‘pull you through’ – ‘back to here’ so to speak. So, I suggest – mind-takeovers/possessions are not necessary – and are indeed, actually self-created through accepting and allowing self to attempt/try to ‘take-on’ the Mind with that which the Mind exist as, as Energy and Resistance. And within accepting/allowing self to be ‘possessed’ by energy of Mind as reaction of Mind such as accepting/allowing self to go into anger and become it for example. I’d suggest – when emotion/feeling come up – simply stop unconditionally and self-forgive, so that you may stand stable, here always and live as self-honest self expression equal and one here = instead of having to go through mind-possession/takeover to through a physical-event have to experience the consequences of accepted and allowed becoming/participations in reactions of mind manifest. Rather live self-honest common-sense insight – realise, you’re the determining factor of you, the experience of you – you determine you and all that flow/manifest from you. Quote:
My biggest fear which is loosing self. Lol – so, you did indeed ‘face your biggest fear of losing yourself’ – you faced it and you stood-up from it, because within Mind-possession/take-over you do ‘lose you’ from the perspective of –you ‘lose the little fragment of control you had of the mind in the physical in the conscious mind’ = to the Mind itself. So cool = you faced this point, and this point only = which is ‘fear of losing self’ – now realise, that = you cannot ‘lose yourself’ = you’re here in/as breath always – remain so and walk this process until its done, until the mind of separation as consequence no more exist as self and others as self as within existence as self = but life emerge as the physical as equality and oneness here. Quote:
But the interesting thing was that i was still aware and quite calm as the breath while the body is in a severe seizure. Initially there was a lot of fear, fear to stop what i was stopping within me. I feared to die. Yes – you were ‘aware’ during this experience, because you remained here with breath, and thus in remaining here with breath – remained here with the physical – which assisted and supported you greatly within remaining ‘calm’ with the body, with breath = to within this, also with you pushing you to remain standing as ‘stop, till here no further’ within what you will accept and allow and what not – which assisted and supported you greatly to be able to stand-up from within is as you. Wherein all that I mentioned in the above-paragraph as remaining here with breath and as you stood and stood-up = also assisted and supported you in walking through ‘fear of death of self as persona/personality of Mind’ – so you faced the fear of death of that of the Mind you exist as. Thus you faced the Mind-created ‘fear of death-construct/system’ you accepted and allowed you to exist within/as, which is ‘fearing death of Mind as no more existing as a personality of Mind’. Quote:
So, after that i obviously started to take out more systems, any i could find within me, till i got to a point where i fucked up. During a realization of a system i was pretending as if i had power, as if i was taking out, as if i was superman taking out a system, while that was not so. Within the delusional euphoric experience of me apparently taking out a system i got stuck in that one point, till this moment, the same construct. Now obviously i became scared of the actual shock during a release, because i fear to loose that sense of being powerful/effective/superman. Super-ego is the point i am still sorting out, to continue my journey. So – herein, this experience that manifested of/as you believing you have ‘power over/of the system’ as being ‘superman of super-ego’ – manifested to show/reveal to you your initial-starting-point/approach that you existed as within wanting to attempt to remove/take-out a system. Your starting-point of you as ego as wanting to attempt to ‘prove to the system’ that you are ‘more than it’ through being able to ‘take it out/remove it’ from the starting-point of anger/blame to/towards it = because of what you accepted and allowed. Thus it all ‘backfired’ unto you, so to speak – wherein the system/construct of Mind as you – showed to you that: In attempting to/trying to take-on a system within the starting-point of/as the Mind within reaction of/as Mind within/as separation of/as Mind to/towards the System/construct of/as Mind that is you = only give leeway to the system/construct of Mind to take you over, to possess you = to show you what you’re accepting/allowing to create/manifest within accepted and allowed separation/starting-point and reaction of/as the Mind. Thus, you didn’t take-out a system from the beginning, but because of your starting-point within/as ego which you’ve not seen/experienced for yourself within your above-description = you actually gave your power/control to the system/construct of Mind to take you over/possess you – for you to see what you’re accepting/allowing within/as yourself as the manifested-consequence of ego to/towards the Mind of systems/constructs. That creating resistance within wanting to ‘fight the system’/‘fight the Mind’ within starting-point as reaction of Ego = you’ll ‘lose’ – because you’re attempting to fight a battle against yourself, which is impossible which the Mind will ‘show you’. The process is to amalgamate you with you – through stopping you in every moment of breath within self forgiveness, self honesty and self correction action within/as support and assistance as breath as the physical – until you are the physical in fact as the living-word as life equal and one as all here. So, I suggest not trying to/attempting to fight the mind, resist the mind, blame the mind or become angry at yourself, which is indirectly directing anger to/towards the mind that you’re currently accepting/allowing you to exist as = you’ll get nowhere. Simply stop, walk here in/as breath – and ‘work with’ what is here in the moment as the moment only – and do not attempt/try to be ‘more than what you are’ = for the Mind as you will show/reveal the truth of you as what you are currently by all means necessary. Realise that the Mind is you showing you what you’ve accepted and allowed you to separate you from, how you separate you, what you haven’t accepted/embraced as you equal and one here, what consequences manifest due to deception and dishonesty = thus, the MIND, the ULTIMATE-tool assisting and supporting you within the process of becoming equal and one as life here in the physical through living the tools self honesty, self forgiveness, self corrective action and breathing as you. Walk moment by moment, breath by breath – be specific, diligent and disciplined – and assist and support you effectively – and so you stop you in every moment of breath, until you stop in fact – and stand here as the physical equal and one – and assist and support others as you equal and one = until its done. So, – I suggest ‘return to the experience’ write down specifically what you saw with regards to the systems/constructs, the Mind – how you perpetuated/empowered it through acceptances and allowances and the consequences that manifest from it = lay it out for yourself specifically, in detail = so that you can in detail and specificity assist and support you in every moment to stand-up and stop in self-determination here as breath with the physical, in the physical = to no more accept/allow you to be/live anything less than who you really are. Furthermore – I suggest not approaching the attempt to try to remove systems, until self is absolutely certain that self is the physical in fact equal and one here in living-proof as self and also that self do not attempt to try and fight the mind/stand-up against it in separation = the mind is you assisting and supporting you in your process unconditionally = be grateful and walk as gratefulness as you assist and support you in birthing you as life from the physical – which is done in every moment of breath of stopping and transformation.