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Veno - Self Forgiveness - Self Dishonesty (Part One)

As transcribed and typed by Veno through the interdimensio­nal portal

Date : 18/11/2007

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my very own self dishonest existence as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the very core of my being, the very source of my self is self dishonest, and in this ‘forgetfulness’ of me – I have become the very manifestation, the very presentation of self dishonesty as my mind

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I exist within and as self dishonesty, that I have become the very manifested representation of self dishonesty within and as my mind – where thoughts, feelings and emotions reside in the secret chambers of my mind inside my head – where no-one sees, where no-one looks, where no-one knows: The ‘real’ me, the ‘truth’ of me within and as my mind as what I am and have become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain and ‘believe’ that I am one with and equal to my mind – the very manifested presentation of self dishonesty, and in remaining and believing that I am one with and equal to my mind of self dishonesty as what and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become: I experience and reflect and manifested the very ‘nature of my being’ as self dishonesty as my mind – because I ‘create’ as me, ‘experience’ as me, ‘manifest’ as me, that which I accept and allow myself to be one with and equal to

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the very manifestation of the mind as thoughts, feelings, memories, emotions, pictures – is the manifested presentation of self dishonesty, which I have accepted and allowed to ‘believe’ is who and what I am – thus, designing myself within and as the very nature of self dishonesty: Because I have accepted and allowed me to separate me from myself – existing within the secret secluded chambers of my mind – where the ‘truth’ of me, lurk and loom as ‘hidden’ thoughts which others cannot see, cannot know, cannot find

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that self dishonesty is the very manifested presentation of the mind, my mind, our mind, all’s mind – because of what exist within the secret secluded chambers of my mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, pictures – is hidden from me, from all as me – as I present a lie, a deceptive illusion of justified reason why I hide me within me as my mind, so that no-one may know, so that no-one may see, so that no-one may find out – the ‘truth’ of me that exist as the mind of me and here ‘lives’ self dishonesty as me – before others as me

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to ‘forget’, to ‘suppress’, to ‘hide’ the ‘truth’ of me that exist as me within my mind – which I constantly and continuously ‘shove back, shove deep inside’ – through fear of ridicule, fear of judgment if others may ‘know’, if others may ‘see’, if others may ‘find out’, if others may ‘realise’ the ‘truth’ of me as that which exist within and the secret secluded chamber of my mind, in my head – then I lie to myself as others, then I deceive myself as others – so they as I may believe and think that I am what I present to them as myself as who and what I am, the picture of me as what they see as I see can ‘hide’ much, can ‘deceive’ much, can ‘lie’ much – no-one, not even myself, must face the ‘haunting darkness’ of my mind, because what will everyone say if they were to know, see, realise, find out – what really exist within me as me as my mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, pictures…

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I lie, that I deceive, that I exist as the very natured manifestation of self dishonesty every moment I have a thought towards another, I have a thought towards myself – as thoughts are of dishonesty, thoughts are ‘words spoken’ within and as my mind, where secrets are kept, where secrets are locked, where secrets are hidden of all that I picture, of all that I think, of all that I feel – here, within and as the secret chambers of my mind, I haunt me – because it is here, alone within my mind – that I am self dishonest – because I cannot speak what I am aloud, because I cannot speak what I have become aloud – and so I continue to suppress – so that I nor anyone else, may know, may see, may find out, may realise –the ‘truth’ of me: I must forget, I must suppress, I must hide

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear me, to fear others as me – ‘finding out’, ‘seeing’, ‘realising’, ‘knowing’ who and what I have become, what I have accepted and allowed myself to be one with and equal to as what exist as me as the thoughts that move, as the ‘secret conversations’ I have with me as me within me, in the secret chambers of my mind – the ‘truth’ of me as the manifestation of self dishonesty

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear the very nature I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the nature of my mind as self dishonesty, to accept and allow myself to be one with and equal to self dishonesty – I am ‘alone’ here in the hidden haunted chambers of my mind, where the darkness and evil of me as what and who I have become ‘looms’ and ‘lurks’ – and I ‘try my best’ to suppress, I ‘try my best to hide’ the darkness, the evil that exist as me, that reside within me as the secret chambers of my mind. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that the only method to ‘stop’ what exist within me – is to suppress, to hide, me within myself – and to use deception, the very self dishonest nature of the mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – ‘against itself’ – by presenting a ‘false identity’ – a deceptive illusion to others as me as ‘what I am’ according to the pictured presentation I see as they see with our human physical eyes – so they can believe and as they believe, I believe, that I am not what exist within and as my mind as me – and so I forget, and so I suppress – to not ‘remember’ what and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be one with and equal to as the mind, as what exists within and as the secret chamber of my head

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear others as me ‘thinking I am a ‘bad’ person’, ‘thinking that I am not a ‘good enough’ person’, ‘thinking that I am unworthy’, ‘thinking that I am worthless’ – if they as me were to really actually know, see, find out and realise what exist within me as my mind as the ‘truth of me’ as self dishonesty – so I use a false, deceptive presentation of me as the picture I see as all see with their human physical eyes, so I use false deceptive words as behaviours together with the deceptive presentation as me – because what exists ‘behind the picture within me, behind the words as behaviours I show and present as me’ – no-one can see, no-one can know, no-one can find out

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to present a false deceptive presentation of me, together with lies as words as behaviours – ‘mastering the technique’ of presenting the lie, the illusion, the deceptive presentation of me as words, behaviours – to lie and deceive myself as others – so that no-one as me, may know, realise, find out, discover, see – what and who I really am within me as the mind as the ‘truth’ of my being as ‘self dishonesty’

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that the darkness of evil exist within me as the secret chambers of my mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be one with and equal to – and so I speak lies, so I speak deceptive self dishonest words, so I present lies, so I present the deception of me as being ‘good’ / being ‘acceptable’ / being ‘positive’ / being ‘of light’ / being ‘of love’ / ‘being of peace’ to others as me, so that they may not know, may not see, may not realise the evil, the darkness that exist within me as the secret chambers of my mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures and memories – and if I for long enough believe that I am ‘good’ / ‘positive’ / ‘of light and love and peace’ – others may believe the same, and so we ‘hide’ together, so we ‘deceive’ together, so we ‘suppress’ together, the absolute evil, the absolute darkness, the absolute pit of hell and fury and vile that exist within us as the mind and ‘design’ together the deception, the lie, the self dishonest nature we manifest as ‘love’, ‘peace’, ‘light’ and ‘positivity’ as what we are as the false illusionary picture presentation deception of ourselves to others as ourselves – which we use to ‘hide’ behind

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that human beings that ‘declare themselves’ of ‘light’, of ‘love’, of ‘peace’, of ‘harmony’, of ‘bliss’, of ‘goodness’, of ‘positivity’ are the most deceptive self dishonest manifestations within and of this world: Behind ‘perceived beauty’ exists the ‘beast’ – the beast hidden, the beast suppressed, the beast locked and secluded in the hidden chambers of the mind as thoughts, pictures, memories, feelings and emotions – the beast as deception, designing and manifesting the very nature of deception as itself ‘cloaked’ in ‘beauty’, to have others as self actually believe that ‘love’, ‘light’, ‘peace’, ‘harmony’, ‘bliss’, ‘goodness’, ‘positivity’ actually exists