Transcribed and typed by Yolanda King through the interdimensional portal
Date : 31/05/2007
Yes I am indeed well and breathing, though not exactly the same experience of breathing as what I have taken for granted while here on earth in a physical manifestation of myself as all other human beings.
A short introduction to my experience while here in the dimensions, though it's interestingly strange to refer to the existence in which I find myself as the ‘dimensions' for each being that have ‘died' here on earth return to the non-physical experience of themselves and yet again return to humans on earth. Not in reincarnation terms, but in supporting directive application terms, supporting humans here on earth in the realization of themselves through directing each human effectively in every moment's application as we ‘non-physical' beings exist within each human here on earth.
I am referring to us as ‘non-physical for a moment to place into perspective my experience the moment I ‘crossed-over' as so many humans would describe the experience as being. The experience of those who have ‘crossed-over' is indeed not as non-physical as we literally exist and walk within each human here on earth. I endured quite an interesting process while ‘crossing over' – I actually just stood up out of my physical body here on earth still having the ability to see all other humans around me. The experience for a moment was quite, I have to admit, frightening. Here I am suddenly in an experience beyond my wildest imaginations wondering whether I indeed was dreaming or creating this experience in some unbeknown way – was I really ‘dead' because I experienced myself as being ‘alive' because: I'm still here. This here different to the ‘here' on earth in the physical manifestation of earth and my body as this ‘here' was more me experiencing myself floating in a way – exactly like that of a feather blissfully floating in the air after being released from the imbedded position within the body of the bird, falling infinitely with no landing on firm stable ground.
This is quite frightening from the perspective that one realize you have placed so much trust in the stability of your physical body firmly placed on the physical manifestation of earth when all of a sudden your entire being is floating like you're completely filled with air: Wondering whether you will ‘pop' and disappear in an instant if you but move or shift in your position the moment you have stood up from within your physical body on the physical manifestation on earth.
I stood there for a mo ment continuously saying to myself continuously repeatedly: I am here while I observed my surroundings in having the ability to see all the humans around me who are not able to see me. Seeing my physical body before me with no ‘life' inside it confirming that my physical body is indeed ‘dead' yet I am still here ‘alive'. My description of ‘death' would be that of when my physical body is no longer filled with the ‘life essence' that is me, yet the ‘life essence' that is me still remain here as I ‘cross-over' through moving out of my physical body here on the physical manifestation of earth.
Then the question arises of: “What does it then mean to be ‘alive' exactly?” Does the definition of being ‘alive' consist of you knowing you are breathing, in your mind having the ability to talk to yourself while physically experiencing your five senses? Yet, I am here without physically experiencing my five senses, without the necessity to breathe, without the firm stability of the physical manifestations of earth and my body – yet I am still here having the ability to continuously repeatedly say: I am here. I, I, I – I am still here, I do not ‘die' as ‘death' is but the experience of my physical body being released from the ‘life essence' that is me.
‘Alive' transforms into ‘I am here' when you ‘cross-over' to the ‘non-physical' experience of yourself and therefore ‘alive' is able to be looked at as A-life (alive). One singular life is what I have experienced from birth in coming into this physical manifestation of earth and my body to death where I have left this physical manifestation of earth and my body to experiencing myself in a ‘non-physical' existence and here I still am aware of myself continuously repeatedly saying: I am here. When humans for instance say: “I am alive” – they're actually saying: “I am still experiencing myself in a life, one singular life, in which I am breathing, in my mind having the ability to talk to myself and physically experiencing my five senses” Whereas this statement considerably changes to “I am here' while experiencing yourself in the ‘non-physical' existence, floating infinitely like a feather in the sky, with your entire being filled with air where all that confirms that I am here is my ability in continuously repeatedly saying: I am here.
Fascinating that all I desired was to experience myself in a physical manifestation of a body as the experience of myself floating, continuously repeatedly saying to myself ‘I am here' wondering whether I will indeed entirely start floating away while my entire being, particle for particle, release itself from within me as I experience myself in this ‘non-physical existence' – becoming mere particles floating around infinitely strewn throughout existence – was quite a frightening concept to comprehend or consider. Therefore the reason of the continuous repetition of the words: I am here, hoping that all of me as my entire being in this ‘non-physical' existence would hear the words I am speaking within me and remain here as a whole. Instead of my entire being disembarking on a journey of releasing particles from within me to which I may come to exist as multiple amounts of particles strewn throughout existence.
Yet this particular experience seemed quite ridiculous when another being approached me in the exact same ‘non-physical' existence in which I found myself, looking very much at home and comfortable in his expression, moving with absolute ease and such grace towards me, with me going: “Thank God I am not alone here!” I probably would have remained on this spot continuously repeating the words: I am here if I did not come across this being now moving towards me, his movement as flowing as the floating of himself in this ‘non -physical' existence.
In seeing this being in the exact same floating expression I experienced myself within – I found myself being rather embarrassed by my own ridiculous fear of apparently having the ability to, particle for particle, float away and be infinitely strewn throughout existence if I did not continuously repeat the words: I am here within myself and remain standing like a statue in this ‘non-physical' existence. Needless to say, the being who allowed me to relax within the experience of myself as floating within this ‘non-physical' existence, had quite a laugh together with myself laughing at my own ridiculous fear, the ridiculous fear I have come to realize actually originated from the idea or belief or perception (whichever you wish to refer it as) of having the ability to apparently ‘lose myself'. He actually suggested an application for me to instantaneously transcend such a ridiculous fear: Do exactly that which I had feared. (Yes, I also questioned the word ‘transcendence' which he used, which means to release myself from such a ridiculous fear by proving to myself that I am indeed not able to lose' myself if I were to float away, particle for particle, strewn infinitely throughout existence.) He suggested I explode myself, each and every single particle of my entire being, so all particles of my entire being within this ‘non-physical' existence are completely strewn, infinitely throughout existence and then in one quantum moment return my expression, as all particles together as one, back to here. I may have laughed at my ridiculous fear just a moment ago, but when push comes to shove in actually having to do such an application – I considered saying something like: “Hey look – there's God!” or “Is that God coming towards us?” with him turning around and me making a run for it as fast as possible, the run being a fast floating graceful movement as the fear within me returned even more so. Common sense prevailed within me for I considered the notion coming from this being whose words of suggestion were spoken with much certainty indicating that he has then most definitely experienced it himself and therefore is able to be done, otherwise he would not have suggested me doing it in the first place. And so: I did it. I actually exploded each and every single particle of my entire being, infinitely throughout existence where I literally experienced myself as each and every singular particle of my entire being, now strewn infinitely throughout existence. The fascinating experience of this particular explosion of my entire being as each and every single particle was that even though all the singular particles were now infinitely strewn throughout existence: I found myself still remaining within each and every single particle. I am still here. Whether my entire being as each and every single particle is strewn infinitely throughout existence or here as one as a whole as an expression of one entire being: I am still here. WHAT??? YES!!! Then I brought myself, still remaining within each and every single individual particle within which who I am exists, strewn infinitely throughout existence, back to here as a whole forming an expression of one entire being within this ‘non-physical' existence.
The fascinating interesting experience is the following: I still experienced myself remaining here in one position, who I am did not move anywhere. Yet who I am existing within each and every single particle of my entire being exploded in being strewn infinitely throughout existence as who I am remaining here in one position, which did not move, brought back all individual singular particles within which I exist, back to here as one as a whole to where who I am, which did not move, remained in this one position. I realized that the ‘fear of losing myself' derived from me defining myself according to my entire expression as each and every single individual particle of my entire being, which, if each and every single individual particle would float away in being strewn infinitely throughout existence – the idea, perception or belief is formed that I would apparently ‘lose myself'.
I had to laugh again, this was amazing, this was fascinating, and this was wonderful: Transcending the ‘fear of losing myself'. The words I so continuously repeated within me making sense, not from the perspective in which I had spoken them previously which was out of complete fear hoping that the words: I am here will have all the individual singular particles of my entire being remain here in not floating away by becoming strewn infinitely throughout existence in having the ability to ‘lose' myself if this were to happen. No, I understood the words: I am here as one with who I am – the words: I am here is who I am.
Who I am remains infinitely here, in one ‘position' not moving, yet I exist within expressions such as individual singular particles which form an entire being as a whole as one as the expression which I experienced myself as within this ‘non-physical' existence in an entire ‘non-physical' being. Having the ability to explode myself as the singular individual particles within which I exist, yet still remaining here in one ‘position' not moving, while the expressions within which I exist as the individual singular particles explode infinitely throughout existence still experiencing myself within each and every single individual particle. Whether strewn infinitely throughout existence or here as a whole as one expression of an entire manifestation of a ‘being' – I realized I am never separate from myself for I exist within all expressions in existence, yet who I am remains infinitely here in one ‘position' never moving. Me, existing within all expressions in existence while remaining infinitely here as who I am not having the ability to ‘lose' myself. Proven to myself by exploding all the singular individual particles of my entire ‘non-physical' being – and still having the ability to experience myself here, within each and every single individual particle strewn infinitely throughout existence within which I exist.
The ‘problem' or cause for forming the idea, perception or belief that I was able to ‘lose myself' was due to me defining myself as who I am only according to the expression of myself as my entire being within this ‘non-physical' existence as each and every single individual particle, this being an absolute statement of limitation. Therefore the experience of ‘fear of losing oneself' is an indication of a limitation accepted and allowed within self. The limitation I allowed is defining myself as who I am upon the expression of myself as an entire ‘non-physical' being together with each and every single particle my entire ‘non-physical' being consisted of. When who I am actually remain infinitely here in one ‘position' never moving, yet I exist as one within all expressions of existence as example of the individual particles within which I exist as one with who I am.
Having the ability to explode all individual particles of my entire being in this ‘non-physical' expression, strewn infinitely throughout existence, while who I am remain here in one ‘position', yet still experiencing myself as one within the individual particles – no matter where such expressions as one with who I am exist! I may have repeated this explanation several times as I have shared my experience – but it's truly magnificent, especially for me who a moment ago, ‘crossed-over' into this ‘non-physical' existence.
Now that I transcended the ridiculous fear of apparently having the ability to ‘lose myself' – the question asked within me was: “Where the hell did such a fear come from and why did I have such a fear in the first place?” Once you experience what I have in becoming one with the words: I am here and understanding the words as who you are – you will not be able to help yourself but ask the exact same question within you. Such a fear of ‘losing oneself' is beyond ridiculousness and is the definition of the word: limitation.
The definition of the word ‘limitation' would be the forming of a belief, idea and perception that one is actually able to ‘lose yourself'. Therefore the question I asked within myself is also able to be asked in the following way: “Where the hell did such a limitation come from and why did I have such a limitation in the first place?” I looked at the situation as follows: I experienced the ‘fear of losing myself' the moment I experienced myself within this ‘non-physical' existence when I ‘crossed-over' from within the physical manifestations of earth and my body. Therefore I must have brought such a ‘fear of losing myself' with me from the experience of myself here on earth. Which would have gone to the extent where I probably infinitely would have remained on the exact spot, not moving or shifting my position one bit continuously repeating the words: I am here, if the being did not appear to support me in suggesting that I transcend such a fear. Proving the absolute ridiculousness of the entire situation, to what extent I would have gone and what I would have allowed myself to experience due to the limitation of but one singular fear – denying myself the experience of who I am through limiting myself with the ‘fear of losing myself'.
“Where and why did I have such a ‘fear of losing myself' as limitation of the experience of myself on earth and why did I not experience myself as: I am here on earth as I am here within this ‘non-physical' existence? How was my ‘fear of losing myself' on the physical manifestations of earth, in my body allowing me to remain limited to the ‘experience' of myself as: I am here?” were the questions I asked. What is really the difference between the ‘non-physical' existence and the physical manifested existence but particles, in all vast forms and expressions, vibrating at lesser or denser frequencies. The particles within the physical manifestation on earth, the universe and human bodies are vibrating at a denser frequency and the density thereof we refer to as: physical. Whereas in the ‘non-physical' existence the particles vibrate at a lesser frequency where there is no physical objects as human bodies and earth itself, with all else physical included, within which humans experience themselves. This is probably common knowledge to all humans here on earth, but necessary for me to place to bring into perspective the question of why I did not see or realize who I am as: I am here, existing within all expressions in existence as one with who I am, yet remaining here in one ‘position' no matter how or where or when or what I express myself as, as I have within the ‘non-physical' existence.
Also such understanding of the difference between the ‘non-physical' existence and the physical manifested existence is but knowledge – for me the question is: “What does this really mean within the experience of who I am.” For me this means that there is no reason why I could not have ‘experienced' myself or realized myself within the physical manifested existence in exactly the same way I ‘experienced' and realized myself in the ‘non-physical' existence. Not from the application of exploding myself here on earth in a body – I would not be able to bring myself back together as one as a whole as I have within the ‘non-physical' existence because of the density of the frequency vibrations of the particles in physical matter (well, I suppose not yet though the possibility must exist!). It is about the realization of who I am here as one with all expressions within existence, me existing within all expressions of existence, yet remaining here as who I am – God, would my life and expression of who I am be extensively different to what I have expressed while ‘alive' enduring ‘a life' here on earth in a body. In answering the question to the exact nature of the reason why I, or any human on earth for that matter, didn't realize on earth in a body what I have realized as who I am here within the ‘non-physical' existence I, within the ‘non-physical' existence, allowed myself to honestly look at my entire life while ‘alive' in my one life (a life) from birth to death to see where I have allowed the ‘fear of losing myself' to cause the limitation of me not allowing myself to ‘experience' or realize who I am as: I am here. It is of allowance because who else exist within me, but me and therefore I am responsible for the allowance of ‘fear of losing myself' existing within me causing me to limit myself to the absolute extent of extremities.
This allowance of limiting myself was greatly visible during my entire life while I was ‘alive' within ‘a life' from birth to ‘death'. What I observed is how limited my entire world was within which I existed while I was ‘alive' here on the physical manifestation on earth, in my physical body. It is only once I have ‘crossed-over' to the ‘non-physical' existence that I realize what importance and value I have placed in trivial, petty physical manifestations in this physical manifested world on earth while in my body – stretching from relationships, to money, to homes, to clothes etc. and then also what I have taken for granted as the simplicities of life, the simplicity of who I am. So caught up in my own goals, dreams, wishes, desires, emotions, feelings, past, future, relationships, thoughts – O' God the thoughts!
The one manifestation within humans that is not considered as being our own worst enemy included the suppressed secrets so well hidden within ourselves! I noticed that I have transformed my expression on earth by living a lie, projecting a lie of who I am, while the truth of who I am was hidden and suppressed within my thoughts together with the secrets I kept within me. What pre-occupied me the most were my own individual thoughts and the suppressed hidden secrets of the truth of who I am within me. For in my thoughts and in the suppressed hidden secrets within me existed my entire world, the truth of who I am, which limited the expression of myself as who I am because I projected and lived a lie instead.
Whether I did this consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously – I did this pretty well: I was so focused, so determined on maintaining my lied, deceitful projection of who I am to all humans in my world to have all reigns in my hands to have the ability to control my entire world, including all humans within, within which I experienced myself because I defined myself as who I am according to this lied, deceitful projection of who I was – and amazingly, or rather sadly, this is what I feared losing.
I blatantly lived a lie, a deceitful projection of who I am when the truth of who I am existed within my thoughts and the hidden secrets within me which I was so afraid humans would see or know of that I rather suppressed the truth of who I am and lived a lie, a deceitful projection of who I am.
What is common understanding is that when a lie is told you have to remember the lie that is told, exactly to the tee, to ensure that no-one discovers or find the truth because if you dare slip with one singular word that is not in correspondence to the words you used when communicating the lie – you are caught out and will be questioned. Either you will then admit to the truth or you will build on the first lie by compounding it with another – then you would find yourself in quite a tiff because you are then required to remember both lies you have told including all the words you have spoken at all times when in conversation with the specific humans you have communicated the lie to.
In absolute constant anxiety and fear, on the tip of your toes you remain to make sure that you do not speak one singular word out of zinc that is not in correspondence to the lie you have communicated. Becoming so pre-occupied in maintaining the lie you have communicated in the presence of the humans to who you communicated the lie in the first place, making sure you don't slip but one refraction – you completely forget yourself as who you are while the truth of the situation remain hidden in secrecy within you and within your thoughts – suppressed it remains so no-one may find or ever discover the truth.
Your entire expression in the presence of the humans you have communicated the lie to, you maintain control of, including the humans in whose presence you find yourself within, keeping all the reigns together at all times in every moment – through fear of losing yourself in controlling the situation you find yourself within. You are forced to continue maintaining control of the entire situation, yourself and the humans included, at all times within your life while in the presence of the humans to who you communicated the lie to and in doing so you start defining yourself according to your expression amongst the humans to who you communicated the lie to – doing this as a last resort to ensure the truth of the situation is never found or discovered.
Rather live the lie, become the lie, suppress the truth in your thoughts as hidden secrets within yourself than having to rem ember the lie you have communicated while in the presence of the humans to whom you communicated the lie to in the first place.
Exactly this is what the experience of myself have become while here on the physical manifestation of earth in a body – I had lived and become a lie, a deceitful projection of who I am, pre-occupied within myself to have control not only of myself as the deceitful lie I had lived and become and projected, but also of all other humans in my world who actually supported me in remaining pre-occupied in my lied, deceitful projection of who I am.
This is what I had done pretty well in the duration of the experience of myself here on earth in a body: Always continuously pre-occupied in maintaining control over my expression as the deceitful lie I had lived, become and projected together with all other humans in my world within which I experienced myself – to ensure that no-one finds or discovers the truth of who I am within my thoughts and the suppressed hidden secrets within me. This lived, projected, becoming of a deceitful lie I have defined as who I am within this world on earth – which I maintained in keeping a hold on all the reigns at all times continuously when in the presence of all humans within my world – is what I feared losing. For if I were to ‘lose myself' as the deceitful lie which I had lived, become and projected within myself together with all other humans in my world – I would lose all control, I would lose the reigns to which I held onto for dear life and my entire world, based on the deceitful lie which I lived, projected and have become together with all the humans within this world – would collapse entirely. This is what I had done every second of every day – within me, my thoughts together with the suppressed hidden secrets within, the deceitful projected lie I lived and become to all other humans in my world was well organized, experiencing constant fear and anxiety to maintain control of my world, myself and all other humans within – no wonder we age so quickly here on earth. It's a damn well tiresome existence if you ask me!
An example I am able to share with you to place what I have described in context to the words ‘I blatantly lived a lie, a deceitful projection of who I am' would be the following: Preparing to climb the ladder to success. (Because I am a woman who has experienced this before, I am describing the ‘ladder to success' example as that of a woman preparing herself which, in truth, is no different to that of men. This being simpler for me for I am explaining it as a personal experience I have had.)
In preparing to climb the ‘ladder to success' one has to start at a singular point, within a specific firm or establishment. Which is usually a specific human with extensive connections in a well known established position within the environment such a being is placed, in which you are preparing yourself to ‘climb the ladder to success' to a position far greater than the one you will start within. Once you've targeted the firm as well as the specific human you will be introducing yourself to – the appointment is required to be made to set up a personal meeting with this specific human. The phone call to the secretary of this specific human is of absolute importance, making an appointment and setting up a personal meeting with this specific human.
The phone call is made, you sit completely straight and upright, your legs crossed over one another, you speak with a smile yet remaining stern and specific while your voice change to that of resonating absolute confidence, your lips forming the words you speak when making the appointment to utter precision – comfortable yet business-like. Having the secretary, even if only for a moment, grow a liking towards you. This phone call made, in setting up the appointment, is the first preparation moment for how you will be presenting yourself to the specific human you will be introducing yourself to. This is also the first moment you are preparing yourself in what you will be putting on as a different ‘projected embodiment' of who you are and will become for the purpose of getting the job you want to start climbing the ‘ladder to success' when meeting with the specific human you will be introducing yourself to.
Once the appointment is made in setting up a personal meeting with the specific human you are introducing yourself to – the attention is then focused to yourself and your own preparation is underway in completing the entire package of the ‘projected embodiment' as who you are and will become for the purpose of getting the job you want, becoming a certainty. First it is shopping, or ravaging through the closet for decent impressive clothing and shoes, jewelry and makeup, to have the ability to make an impression which the specific human you have targeted to introduce yourself to, will never forget. So you become a burned imprint within this humans' mind and remain there.
The day of the appointment arrive and you wake up, comfortable and at ease within your own presence and in your own environment. Your hair, which has been done the day before for the purpose of this very important appointment, merely requires a few tweaking here and there to look like you have just walked out of the Salon. Your nails that have been done are perfect, delicate and they look naturally feminine. You take a shower, making sure that the moment you walk out, you're clean and fresh – your entire body radiating purification as you prepare yourself to become the different ‘projected embodiment' which you walk into, so to speak, as you get dressed.
The suit is prepared as clothing that will be worn, the shoes together with the suit making a perfect match, together with jewelry and makeup. All ready to be worn by self to design the perfect presentation as the different ‘projected embodiment' of who you will become for the impression it will create as a burned imprint within the specific humans' mind to who you will be introducing yourself. You start getting dressed: Wearing the black pencil skirt – not too tight fitting, yet complementing the perfect contours of your beautifully shaped body. Then you put on a white satin collared shirt revealing your chest and neckline – your breast's outline visible but not exceptionally too much. You put on the black jacket, fitting perfectly – the perfect match to your black pencil skirt, wearing your high heeled black shoes with your legs revealed – the shoes complementing your calves. The entire outfit complementing you in which you present the expression of sensual professionalism.
You stand infront of the full length mirror, twirling on the spot to scrutinize every inch of the complementary perfected entire outfit you are wearing and smile with satisfaction at your achievement in putting together this magnificent presentation of yourself – the picture of the entire different ‘projected embodiment' design of who you will become. Then it's makeup and jewelry – delicate jewelry with natural makeup – which is done with absolute specificity to accentuate the vibrancy of your face and your entire outfit. Once all this is done – the pictured presentation of the ‘projected embodiment' of who you are and will become is complete as you mould yourself and become one with the sensual professionalism you radiate from the pictured presentation of the ‘projected embodiment' as who you will become.
The ‘moulding and becoming one' consist of your personality and behaviour – who you are behind the pictured presentation you have just prepared as yourself which will complete the entire package of the different ‘projected embodiment' as who you will become for the purpose of getting the job you want. Now to completely become the different ‘projected embodiment' – will be placed into action the moment you step out of your car and walk into the building of the firm. Still at home, you take your black briefcase with all your papers and works neatly stacked, freshly printed and prepared, take one deep breath before locking the door behind you and walk towards your car.
You arrive at the building of the firm – looking in the mirror for one final last check to see if all is still in order and you're still radiating sensual professionalism. And here, finally the moment you step out of the car, you completely become the different ‘projected embodiment' as who you are as you walk absolutely straight with determination, dressed in confidence, professional and businesslike yet sensual and comfortable at the same time. Each step you take with your black shoes, your hips swaying from one side to the other your eyes focused straight ahead, your chest slightly pushed forward, breathing calmly with your chin up – all are perfectly calculated as though you are on a catwalk presenting to the world the image of a business woman at play – this being your personality and behaviour stepping forth together with the pictured presentation of who you are completing the entire package of the ‘projected embodiment' as who you are for the interview with the specific human you are about to meet personally.
You remain in this particular stance and expression as behaviour as you walk towards the desk of the secretary to whom you spoke in making the appointment a few days before. You stand straight, you make definite eye contact and smile perfectly – no fidgeting or portrayal of discomfort or uncertainty, anxiety or fear which you experience within yourself, as there is no room to allow such expressions because who you are must and will stand as the presence of absolute confidence. You introduce yourself in reminding the secretary of who you are – each word spoken is clear, crystal clear as the words and sounds are articulately calculated to absolute precision – flowing like butter from your lips. You sit on the chairs while you wait for permission to enter the office of the specific human you are about to meet.
While you sit and wait, your legs are crossed over one another, your back straight, your hands folded over one knee revealing your beautifully manicured yet naturally looking nails, the suit's material you are wearing provides the ability to remain in tact looking comfortable, businesslike and professional whether you are sitting down, standing up or walking. You have thus a moment to completely relax within yourself, using breathing to release the anxiety and fear rushing within you like waves in an unsettled ocean preparing for a storm to come – yet this experience within yourself – you dare not reveal for you are, must and will stand as confidence and certainty to be able to pull this entire scenario off perfectly. This could be the beginning of your entire life which will consist of one outcome, one aim and one goal: to ‘climb the ladder to success' and nailing the dream job and position in this specific firm you so desire.
The secretary gives permission for you to enter the office of the specific human you have prepared yourself for in becoming the different ‘projected embodiment' as who you are to be able to design a presentation of yourself to have the possibility of you getting the job extend to a probability or even certainty. The moment you see the specific human infront of you sitting behind the desk, you again make definitive eye contact and smile perfectly – not too brightly, not too excitedly but a smile that says: It is truly an honour to be in your presence.
You do not exert inferiority, discomfort or uncertainty – the certainty and confidence that is you resonates throughout his entire office as you introduce yourself to him as the ‘projected embodiment' you have become. You extend your arm to shake his hand – your hand forms gracefully around his, yet the handshake is delicately, yes delicately strong and firm, releasing your hand with the same graceful gesture when you placed your hand within his. Then you sit down after he gestures for you to do so – your movement is graceful and flowing, yet specific and structured as you finally sit straight and upright, placing one hand above the other, legs crossed over one another before him.
Then it's the interview – and O' my God are you on the ball girl, your words the sounds in which you speak them, your behaviour , your gestures, your eyes always making definitive eye contact – the entire package of who you are as the ‘projected embodiment' is the presentation of perfection, specificity and precision – the sensuality of professionalism, feminine yet businesslike – the absolute expression of THE businesswoman he HAS to have in his firm. This is how you design the different ‘projected embodiment' of who you are when for instance applying for a job in which you have one goal, one aim and one outcome of attaining to the desired experience of yourself in the one position you have in mind while ‘climbing the ladder to success.'
It is then so that you are hired, chosen to start in a position within the firm which you have selected within which you will ‘climb the ladder to success'– the first position being the first step. Now that you have what you have wanted – your different ‘projected embodiment' of who you are paid of smoothly and went exactly as you have intended it to. Now your entire world, day in and day out, becomes that of working towards the ultimate goal or aim you have set for yourself – the one and only renowned desired position within this firm you have been hired to work within – doing this by ‘climbing the ladder to success.' It is imperative that you maintain this different ‘projected embodiment' of who you are throughout the experience of yourself while working within the firm – especially with all the ‘important' humans within the firm to be noticed in making an impression, a burned impression within each of the ‘important' humans' minds. This being part of your strategy in ‘climbing the ladder to success'.
Everything about who you are as the different ‘projected embodiment' consist of one thing and one thing only – getting that dream job by taking the last step on the ‘ladder to success'. Therefore, you actually start becoming and defining yourself as who you are according to this different ‘projected embodiment' you have designed and utilized for the one singular purpose of attaining within the firm the one desired position that exist within your mind – and nothing and no-one will stop you and you will do everything and anything to get what you want. Hell, you transformed yourself into this different ‘projected embodiment' to get into the firm in the first place and will transform yourself as who you are even further if necessary and become what is necessary, but by God – you will get that one desired job you have given yourself as who you are up for.
In the evenings when you return home and start undressing, it's like you're undressing the entire different ‘projected embodiment' as who you are and have become when in the office around the humans you work with in maintaining the presentation of who you are which is all part of the game plan strategy to get what you want by ‘climbing the ladder to success' in getting the one renowned desired position within the firm. Once you have undressed and climbed out of the different ‘projected embodiment' as who you are and have become when in the office around the humans you work – you experience the comfortability of your own presence within your own environment, the expression of who you are you will never reveal to anyone in your working environment. And if you continue presenting yourself as this different ‘projected embodiment' of who you are through the months and years, even this comfortability in your own presence of who you are is able to be forgotten, sadly so. When all you become is this different ‘projected embodiment' as your aim and your goal consumed your entire being and your entire world starts revolving only around the attainment of ‘climbing the ladder to success'. Where the truth of who you really are remain suppressed within you and within your thoughts as you become and define yourself as who you are according to the different ‘projected embodiment' as who you are which you present to all those within your world – who will inevitably support you in attaining to the desired renowned job you have given yourself as who you are up for.
What I am saying in ‘giving yourself as who you are up' is that you forget to live, to experience yourself because all your attention and focus only exist in attaining to the desired renowned position by ‘climbing the ladder to success'. You transform and change and mould yourself totally where nothing of who you are remain because who you are, including your entire world revolves around getting what you want – existing outside of yourself always, separate from who you are. Your experience within the firm does not become an unconditional expression of who you are, but rather a different ‘projected embodiment' which you design and changed and transformed yourself into – deceiving yourself in having to become something completely different to be able to get what it is you want and desire.
The consequences of this self-deception become that of ‘ who you really are ' being suppressed in hidden secrecies within you and within your thoughts. This different ‘projected embodiment' which you present as who you are and which you through time become by defining yourself according to such an expression is what beings start to fear ‘losing'. Because if they were to ‘lose' this different ‘projected embodiment' as what they have become and defined themselves as being, their entire game plan strategy of ‘climbing the ladder to success' would collapse because they are required to maintain this different ‘projected embodiment' becoming of themselves to control themselves, their environment and all other humans within to have the ability to get what it is they want and desire. And will thus do anything and everything possible to make sure they fulfill the attainment of the goal and aim they have set out for themselves – not being able to ‘lose' this different ‘projected embodiment' becoming of themselves. Thus ‘fear of losing' themselves exist and form within them, though this ‘who they are' they fear ‘losing' is in actuality the different ‘projected embodiment' of who they have become and defined themselves accordingly.
So – when you fear ‘losing' something or anything it is an indication that that which you fear ‘losing' is what you have designed and created actually standing in the way of you experiencing and expressing who you really are. For there is no way that ‘fear of loss' is able to exist when you are here, infinitely as who you are as I have experienced myself within the ‘non-physical' existence. And this – all who are reading here – is what I meant when saying: ‘I blatantly lived a lie, a deceitful projection of who I am' while thoughts and hidden secrets within me, suppressed who I really was which I through time even forgot and did not remember as this lie, this deceitful projection became me, consumed me and I continuously moulded myself according to that which I wanted and desired – disregarding myself as who I am through suppressing myself totally.
Yet – all humans are existing within this, whether conscious, subconscious or unconscious, the exact same way and thus we support each other to project, live and become deceitful lies to which we define ourselves as who we are, rather suppressing the truth of who we are within ourselves and our thoughts – maintaining control in handling all the reigns within the experience of ourselves here on earth in a body.
The reason I say that all humans are existing in this way is that if we weren't we surely would have been experiencing ourselves as infinitely here, existing within all expressions in existence as one. If I were to experience myself as who I am, infinitely here on earth in a body – my expressions would have been vastly different from the perspective of not having to become something other than who I am as a deceitful, projected lie which I presented to all other humans in my world, trying to constantly control everything in my world as to maintain the becoming of myself as this deceitful, projected lie to have the ability to survive in this world.
This is the reason why I had not ‘experienced' myself as I have in the ‘non-physical' existence – I have been so pre-occupied within my own little world, handling all the reigns in my world, myself and all humans within to maintain control over what I have defined myself as who I am instead of being here, complete in every moment. What are we humans doing to ourselves here on earth in our physical bodies – definitely not ‘living', definitely not ‘expressing' ourselves, that's for certain! We are tied and bound to our own needing-and-wanting-to-maintain-control worlds every second of every day, tied and bound by the reigns we so effectively have a hold on through fearing of losing the tight grip on them, constant anxiety – and the fascinating interesting thing is: We do bloody hell ‘lose ourselves' in the consummation of that which we live, become and project in order to survive and exist in this world amongst all other humans: A deceitful lie.
The reason I had become who I was in this world, I realized, was not an unconditional expression of who I am but rather an obligation of necessity to have the ability to climb the ladder to success or be noticed and accepted by other humans in this world based on survival. We have sold who we really are to Devil that is Survival – who humans become in this world, what humans live in this world, what humans project as who they are in this world is all based on Survival, ‘losing' the simplicity of who we are, here in every moment as we exist within all expressions in existence, yet no-one has become aware of this because they're so pre-occupied with fighting for survival. Is that what we have become in this world, constantly fighting for survival to the extent where we have to become the monsters of ourselves, the Devil itself, as we live, become and project deceitful lies as who we are, suppressing the truth of who we are within ourselves as hidden secrets and thoughts? Using picture presentations – the projection – to hide behind the sorrow, pain and turmoil within ourselves, this ability we have also seemingly mastered quite effectively. Manipulating and deceiving other human beings of who we are through the pictured presentation we project. The Devil in disguise is what we have become, pure evil – only concerned about ourselves, our own controlled existence and not of any other humans in this world.
This I am able to say because I discovered that this is what my existence consisted of here on earth in a body – the Devil in disguise of pure evil. Looking at the word ‘evil' in swapping the word around you have ‘live' – therefore confirming that we have indeed not ‘lived' in this world as the expression of who we are here. But we have become, projected and lived the deceitful lie of pure evil as we manipulate ourselves and other humans in our world in maintaining control of that which we fear losing, because we have stupidly gone and defined ourselves according to such existences based on survival – only concerned with ourselves.
As in the existence of survival, one is only concerned with yourself and none other than yourself. Tiresome experience humans have in this world because of what we allow to exist within ourselves as the suppressed thoughts and hidden secrets within us – playing the game of survival every second of every day. The question would be: When is it going to be enough? When will this end? This constant fighting and struggling which is in truth causing the ageing process to proliferate as our physical bodies strain under the emotional charges of the inner battles that exist within ourselves – always praying for inner peace, inner rest, inner silence to have the ability to be comfortable within our own presence of who we are. Isn't that what all human beings are actually looking for: calm, peace, silence serenity which is constant within them as an experience of themselves in every moment, every second with every breath in being comfortable within your own presence released from the inner battles of emotional turmoil's within, fighting for survival in this world in having to become the monster – whether it is conscious, subconscious or unconscious?
I find that such an existence which I have described, based on ‘fear of losing ourselves' and what we have become, lived and projected to maintain control of our world, ourselves and all other human beings within because of this ‘fear' – have allowed ourselves to separate ourselves from who we are, here. In this separation we have been on a yearning search to find or discover ourselves using multiple methodologies such as religion, relationships, spirituality, money, and sex etc. – this yearning search for ourselves driven by the inner battles of emotional turmoil within, the constant fighting for survival and the tiresome existence we experience in maintaining control of the reigns we so hold onto and fear losing. This must be saying something about ourselves if we are already in the application of ‘looking' and ‘searching' for ‘ourselves' – that there must indeed be something ‘else' or something ‘more' than the experience of ourselves we are now within. This is not far off the wagon, yet the ‘problem' is in the usage of the words: ‘looking' and ‘searching' which have been the cause for the manifestations of relationships, religion, spirituality, sex, and money – using such manifestations in our endeavors of ‘trying to look, search, find and discover ourselves'. When in truth such a statement or ‘journey' we allow ourselves to travel upon is that of separation because who we are is here, infinitely in every moment as I have experienced in the ‘non-physical' existence where there is absolutely no reason why this experience is not able to be so here on the physical manifestation on earth in a body as who I am is not separate from any expression within existence, as I remain infinitely here.
I am without a doubt certain that many beings, many a time, have shared with you this understanding which I would suggest to you , for a moment, in the experience of yourself here on earth, consider. Because here, with who you are, infinitely remaining – are all the answers you seek where you ‘experience' yourself existing within all expressions in existence, yet remaining here in ‘one' position. One with all of everything that exist – the realization of who you really are is beyond your wildest considerations of possibilities ever being able to be experienced. I am here is the answer to the searching, looking, finding and discovering of ourselves where there is no dependency able to be placed in any other beings' hands of responsibility because, no-one else but each individual being in existence, have the ability to ‘experience' themselves here, as who they really are which no-one or nothing else is able to do for any individual being in existence.
So therefore, I say to all humans on earth on a ‘journey' in ‘searching' and ‘looking' for themselves that you are here in every moment with every single breath you take existing in the simplicity of who you are!
Here are some insights to the experience of myself while within the ‘non-physical' existence – I am doing another discussion such as this one – a very important experience which has been taken for granted greatly here on earth by all humans on earth, this being: The Breath of Life, the simplicity of who we are! Within this discussion I am explaining the Breath of Life as the ‘experience' of who we are, infinitely here, as I have ‘experienced' myself in the ‘non-physical' existence which is able to be ‘experienced' here on earth by each and every single human.
Goodbye, until the next moment…
Yolanda King