My relationship with unfairness.
Basically, I feared being treated unfairly, not being given accurate feedback from my reality and frowned upon it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being treated unfairly, to the extent of not daring to investigate what unfairness is and can be in the process to the journey to Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label unfairness as ‘bad’ and ‘evil’. Continue »
I’m confused. Lately I’ve been focusing on trying to focus on my body and I “can’t”. Mostly I’ve been worrying about where I place in the hierarchy of human society, well, my slice of society.
Thirty spokes share one hub. So what I see for now as to the pattern showing itself from what I’ve been thinking, is I fear losing social standing. I fear the what if fear, I fear not enjoying myself enough or not as much as others, I fear missing out ...Continue »
Lately I’ve been on a very lucky streak realizing that I have to live self forgiveness and practice it in every breath. So what I have been practicing is breathing slowly and using that time to assess myself to be either 1 or +1 or -1. Because anything either than 1 ruins the relationship I have with my physical environment which includes the words that others live and especially my own reactions to those words, spoken or lived. It has to be me plus my environment to equal two equals...Continue »
Waking up, I remember a dream I was having. It had to do with my phone, and how it got hacked leaving me helpless to reply on WhatsApp and use my phone in general. I found someone to fix it, but he had a condition that you cannot misuse the fix by stealing other people’s Internet. I was skeptical but my friend was beside me, listening and to him, Purvin, the fix seemed legitimate. So I applied the fix, and shortly after I was again barred from my phone because I violated the conditio...Continue »
Kasper’s Journey To Life Day 402, refer to the About Me section for context
The thought of X physically distancing Y from interacting with me boils my blood. I am reacting by being pissed off and angry.
First is the male-female relationship in general that I have certain worries and concerns and stupid beliefs about. Second is that it reminds me of another female that I asked politely about to go out with me, and that blew itself to smithereens. Furthermore, how I am vi...Continue »
These days my preoccupations include:
– giving up the fight between good and evil
I need to stop furrowing my brow as a reflection of my contempt for that which I deem evil. One thing I’ve realized is that ALL is a reflection of what each accepts and allows, and my responsibility and safe action is to only care about what I am accepting and allowing, sorting out that part first.
Wanting to ‘save others’ from their existence as accepted and allowe...Continue »
Agenda for X and I
– Present to each other our backchat around the idea of a relationship between us
– Discuss: start with the miscommunications and frictions that have occured by talking to her about what has happened -what your perceotion has been – why you responded the way you did – and ask her why she responded the way she did by going into retreat
what hopes and desires and expectations, what experience...
What questions and statements would I like to ask X, and more IMPORTANTLY, what does this say about ME?
– I don’t “love” you, I like you and am attracted to part of the value system you stand for reflected in your actions. Why? Because my ego happens to be the same way sometimes, and I realize and understand that I am merely looking at a positive judgment of myself when interacting with you, so that’s why I can’t say I love you, but I like you. Continue »
This is part 2. Part 1 is here.
Solution to acting arrogant. What arrogance really is is a form of showing off due to the insecurity within, that I am not good enough as I am, there is something wrong or lacking about me. Hence the attraction to those that are “cooler”/”more attractive”/”triggers more sex-related thoughts, emotions, and feelings and activates almost an...Continue »
Eating at McDonald’s, I saw a familiar face. Not a familiar face, but a familiar way of presenting oneself that I know I have done and probably am doing. It’s arrogance.
Presenting myself with all the hallmarks of a trendy, confident adult: good body shape, walking with swagger, identifying and looking at other similarly priced objects – I mean people. And looking at them in a dichotomy; I have all of this, but I want more that I see in the other. I am afraid of lo...Continue »