2 1/2 years
One day, sitting on the edge of my bed I said to my self, " what is all this?, where is the constant?, this cannot be what life is supposed to be, somewhere there must be a constant " joy" or a constant "something", where is it?" At that moment I decided that I was going to find it. And I had no idea what I was looking for, I only knew that what was here could not be life.
Sometime later I had some vivid images appear and I did not really trust them. I went onto the web and simply asked a question and Desteni appeared.
So, finding the "constant" is an ongoing journey, a journey that involves more than my self and all of my self, a journey that involves reorganizing this world so that life can be discovered, so that life can begin.
No matter your age, you are a child searching for the birth of yourself as life. And it is time to stand up and birth yourself as life.
Let's get this done.
Tonight, with my son, I tried to explain how this system of mind works when he came to me and said he had all these pictures moving really fast through his mind. I said the pictures are of what man has created on earth, what man has diminished the earth of in manifesting an image and likeness of what is fear. Fear being a distortion of reality, a distortion of sound, meaning unsound, meaning out-of-whack, meaning creating ...Continue »
I still, when I find out about the abuses to and negligence of life on this earth, become angry. Be it the corporations and/or the government officials, or the ignorance of the tax payers unquestioning of how the economic system works. This is in my own self interested survival, as the disregard for life within what is accepted is a possibility for all of u...Continue »
I watched this documentary about democracy and was amazed at some American official stressing the need for maintaining self interest within national security. The whole process of this obsessive security is one of destroying land and people, plants and animals with anything that does not align itself with this supposed self int...Continue »
When my children were small and I was living in a foreign country, I went and volunteered in a “mother center”. It was a place for women with very small children to meet and have lunch, or sit and have coffee. I began with working in the cafe part two or three times a week for a couple of hours, to cooking lunch once a week and...Continue »
Basically, anything that is a distraction from looking at what is physically here, is a distraction. Imagining gods, sub gods, alternate existences as a “place that is “godlike” as in “heaven like” is a distraction. And ultimately ignorance, as why would “here” be something to want to “escape” from? This would mean an existence from which to escape. How can this be something productive- an existence from which to escape? In common sense, does this make sense?
It does not, not in ...Continue »
I have been in the elementary schools , the middle schools and the high schools. In the elementary schools the children started getting “groupie” in the third grade, dress begins to become important, grades too, clicks start. This movement from a more accepting nature, to one of judgement and selection according to looks and entertainment values of the person, this ability to generate attention, is the goal with either dress or verbal and athletic skills. Then in middle school, a lot of ac...Continue »
When was the first time I constricted within my hips, pulled them in, suppressed the movement of myself through holding this in?
Is the starting point wanting to be with someone, just be with, not love, but just be with?
was it within playing the violin, where i believed that if I let myself out I would be attacked? that moment where I held myself in while performing, and the playing I was doing outside of myself, only allowing a part of myself to be there, and it en...Continue »
We teach our children compound imagery instead of realizing the very substance of this physical world. The twist here is that the compound imagery is of a division of that substance into parts- as limited values only, not in consideration of the totality of the forms prevalent on earth that compose the organism of life. Thus we limit insight and understanding of all existent and within this withholding, imagery based on limited ideology is asked to be followed as ideas of more than and les...Continue »