Ben Wier's profile

Ben Wier

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Desteni member for

4 years

Bio

In December 1990 I was born in the South-Western USA, in the city of Tucson Arizona, to a pair of upper middle class, white, christian parents.

In the nine months before I was born, while I was still in my mother’s uterus, my parents had been very busy deciding where in the city they would settle down to raise their family. My education eventually took top priority for my parents, and so they chose to live in School District 16, the richest district in the city and the district with the best reputation for it’s public schools. There were more ritzy and expensive options in terms of my education, like charter or private schools, but my mom also wanted a big house. This big house was produced through my father’s expertise as a licensed architect; he designed and managed the construction of a small mansion that my parents were only able to afford due my father’s specified design protocall prioritization: 1) make the outside look great, 2) build the inside really cheaply, 3) use allot of paint. So this is how I was born into the rich part of town and grew up in public school with a bunch of rich white kids.

For the beginning of my childhood, I grew up pretty much believing that everything was supposed to be the way I experienced it, in terms of school, friends, church, home, parents, ect; and I never really started to question this reality until my world began falling apart. By age 8, my parent's relationship had become completely volatile, abusive, and dysfunctional; and although I didn't notice it because I believed I was 'strong', I was greatly, greatly influenced by this emotional volatility and abuse. At school and in public, in contrast against what I believed about myself, I found to my horror that I was like this 'malfunctioning human'; I was just 'emotionally fucked up’ and ‘just couldn’t handle’ social pressure like the other kids could. So it was like, no matter how hard I tried, I could never really ‘fit in’ with my classmates and friends. Eventually, this dysfunctionality reached a point where I could not maintain social relationships and, at age 14, I began a slow and painful process of isolating myself from other human beings out of fear and massive ego-bruisng. --Which honestly, was for the best, because if I had somehow been able to continue interacting socially, and developing myself in a social context, I eventually would have taken out all my parents’ abuse onto some unlucky person, probably a female. (just like- I notice, what happened to my father’s life.)

So when I was 16 I had lost all my friends and saw no likely chance of ever having any kind of social life anytime soon. I was angry and depressed about the whole thing, and withdrew from the world, going onto the internet. In this state of almost complete isolation, I accidentally found Desteni Productions. I was really impressed by these magnificent people, and tried to use Process to become famous and popular to compensate for my failed social life. When I first found Desteni, I felt like my life had reached ‘a new low’, and that I could not fall any lower. But in this compulsion to become famous/ popular, I actually ended up re-living everything that I had just gone through in highschool, except now I lived it out towards and about Desteni and Destonians. Over the next 3 years, to my horror, I would go ‘even lower’ than 'the new low’, and I continued living out my past, which became a series of extreme and bizarre behavioral disorders.

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