Alcohol is Death • Desteni - Group of people exploring Equality & Oneness principles

THIS ARTICLE IS A COPY OF THE MESSAGE I LEFT ON THE DESTONIAN FORUM.

Hi Marlen.

I will make this video public, okay.

The day after I posted that video, on my way back home, expecting to see again these “drunk” homeless people, I experienced a fear and started to apply self-forgiveness. My starting point for this forgiveness was a scenario I was imagining about me encountering them and saying what I wanted to say. I was seeing myself explaining to them why I would never give any money to them: because they’re drunk, they live in a fantasy world, and they have to get out of it. I was also expecting they would reply that they needed also food to eat, and so that would mean I would let them die. “Yes, I will let you die” – is what I would have said. I was afraid of coming to that extent.

This is the forgiveness I applied, which seems to be, now that I have a look at it, from a starting point of fear and of wanting to avoid the worst case scenario I was imagining. Though, after I applied this, I experienced a release – no mind – and felt ready to meet them and speak to them. Not as the scenario within my mind existing from the starting point of considering them as “drunk/alcoholic”, but speaking to them as who they were in the moment, considering them without any definition or judgement. This is the forgiveness I applied:

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge drunk people as people not willing to face themselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to get angry at people not willing to face themselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge and believe that the drunk people I see in the street are not willing to face themselves and to blame them and get angry at them.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that this world needs people willing to face themselves – and to become angry at people not willing to face themselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become angry at myself not willing to face myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge that I’m not willing to face myself because I drink alcohol (from a perspective of placing myself as someone drinking alcohol – I don’t drink alcohol).

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see those three drunk homeless people as the experience I myself had through drinking alcohol as not willing to face myself, suppressing myself, and living in a beautiful reality covering the truth of who I am.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge alcohol as way to get away from self, to escape from self.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to get angry at people consuming alcohol and having fun through drinking alcohol because I judge that they are suppressing what they really experience inside themselves and express themselves as this point of suppression of themselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to blame and get angry at people false presentation of themselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to blame and get angry at this pictured presentation reality because it’s destroying the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to get angry at people because I judge they are destroying this reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to blame people for actions they take – such as drinking alcohol – because they destroy this reality through supporting the pictured presentation mind reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become angry at actions and things that destoy this reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that, me, I was not destroying reality – I was not participating in a pictured presentation mind reality – that I was ‘more than’ others because I take the step of stopping myself as the mind/pictured presentation of myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that anger, blame, comparison and judgment is as well a game of the mind, and that I’m myself therefore participating in and as a pictured presentation mind reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make myself more than others because I walk process.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge and believe that some people just have to be removed from this world because I judge they won’t be able to stand on their own two feet.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to support people standing up on their own two feet because I’ve believed myself to be more than them.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge people around me of being systems in this world – destroying themselves and everything around them – and to believe myself to be better than them because I’m walking process.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from this world and from people into the belief that I’m better than them.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am a system – and that it is as a system that I’m walking my process – in order to let go of the system.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be better than others because I don’t drink alcohol.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define people according to what they drink instead of according to who they are as they express themselves in the moment.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to name someone ‘drunk’ and to act according to my own beliefs and judgments of what alcohol is according to past experiences and knowledge of myself and of this world.

I accept people as the presence of themselves in the moment, not as knowledge I have about them – such as defining someone of being alcoholic. I allow myself to stand equal to them in every moment.

I realize that I can’t go to each beggar I meet in the street and start a conversation to explain my perspective on alcohol or give support. But sometimes I could hear what those people have to say – something I never really allowed myself to do but only from a perspective of being “nice” with them. I’m gonna have a look at this when a next opportunity comes to meet them.

What is sure at this moment is that I won’t accept in my world people deliberately destroying themselves.