When finishing my last Mind Construct of a series of mc’s within my Desteni I Process, I found myself stuck at the part of word re-definitions. I hadn’t realised how much I allowed these, at first sight, innocent words to have an impact on me. Behind these words was hidden a whole universum of entangled emotions and feelings, hidden from my conscious daily living. While after taking a closer look these words had/have ...Continue »
This morning I had the weirdest dream ever, one with a lot of symbolism that showed me how back chat* can literally fuck with us to the extent of rape. I never had dreams about being raped and this wasn’t really about the physical act of being raped, more about the consequences and why it came to this point.
I was at a fair in a building where there were many spaces and all were decorated/furnished li...Continue »
Writing is one of the many tools a Destonian has to his/her disposal. When you write in words, that what keeps you busy inside of you, you’ll place information/knowledge from your mind into your physical reality. Whenever points are written in black and white, thoughts/memories/feelings/emotions/fears they become tangible and are ready to be dealt with. We’re able to read our writings from many years ago, but we’re not able to repeat our words from years ago word by word...Continue »
When I 4 years ago stumbled upon a video of Desteni, done by Sunette as a portal, I wasn’t looking for the Desteni message. I had no intent to join any group what so ever, I had no intent to face myself and I had absolutely no intent to change the world simply because I never perceived myself as someone that could change the world. I was living my dream within my bubble and could see, feel and understand that there was something re...Continue »
I had a dream and many more, though I decided at a certain point in my life to manifest this one particular dream I had which would set me free from all that I experienced as limiting and which kept me bound to the system that I despised. It was like a wish, a desire that turned into a ticking time bomb inside of me, while I wasn’t aware of the ticking and not at all aware of the bomb that was the cause of the ticking. So I lived the dream and I walked the dream in order to escape re...Continue »
After working on my last Mind Construct within a series of MC’s, I realized as I always do how I’ve been deluding myself, lost myself within side paths and absolutely not having taken self-responsibility. One realization that made me look further into my current physical reality, in order to correct myself right away, was the point of wanting to control my environment out of fear of loss. I realized that I had been controlling through manipulation and dishonesty throughout my l...Continue »
A few days ago while doing groceries, my partner P. and I ended up at the fishmonger. It’s a shop run by a couple, who are always cheerful and ready to give you assistance and service. This week a new lady started working with the wife of the owners couple. The lady didn’t look like she took great care of herself. She was in her forties, had long greasy hair and a face full of pimples. And we were the happy clients that were going to be served by her.
She acted nervous, ...Continue »
Thursday the plumber finally came over, after 4 months of begging, to check our antique boiler. This time it had to be checked in time, otherwise the boiler wouldn’t be certified anymore. Our landlord started in June to ask for this simple check up and as it goes in Italy they do not set a date, they simply squeeze you somewhere in their busy program. Within our small village, with approximately 3000 inhabitants, we’ve got 2 plumber family businesses. There isn’t enough w...Continue »
Dealing with conflicts is still a point that brings me anxiety, I need to actively take myself back to my breathing and stabilize myself. Within these moments I desire for harmony to come and rescue me from the bullies that pull my pigtails. Wanting to crawl back into the deep caves of ignorance that I’m now able to define as “the mind”. So I’m asking myself now why am I not accepting the fact that I can be stable, stable to face conflict and to see it for what it i...Continue »