Recently I was listening to an interview with Anu
wherein he suggests that we align ourselves with 'doings' instead of aligning ourselves with concepts and ideas of 'time' wherein one is able to go into the mind and use excuses such as 'I don't have enough time' and 'I have too much to do'. This point opened up some insights within me where I realized that one of the BIGGEST points of backchat
/excuse that I experience in terms of walking my process in general is this very point of 'time' – where exactly as Anu shares in the interview
I often find myself thinking 'I just don't have enough time to do all of this' and 'I wish there was more time' instead of actually slowing myself down and realizing that such statements are only of the mind – because the mind is functioning in quantum time and is not at all properly aligned with practical, physical, real-time.
So in looking at how I have participated in this very point of self manipulation I see that I often abuse the idea and concept of 'time' by actually blaming 'time' for my own points of not having directed myself effectively and not having myself organized and prepared
for what is necessary to be done, and within this instead of forgiving myself and making the necessary changes so that I am able to get things done, I instead blame 'time' because then it is not 'my fault' and within this I secretly give myself 'private time' – where the time that I would have been using to do what was necessary in my world such as work, education, projects, chores, and tasks which are part of practical daily living, was instead converted into 'private time' which is also referred to as 'quantum time' in the Desteni material.
A practical example of this shifting into quantum time of the mind versus remaining here within the real time of the physical would be when I have a task that requires to be done and I see that doing this task will require a certain amount of time and application – and here, due to the extent to which I have allowed myself to become addicted to the 'quantum time' of the mind, will make a decision to postpone or delay or simply outright ignore doing that task because there are 'other things I could be doing with MY time' – and instead busy myself or distract myself or entertain myself while I 'zone out' into my 'private time'.
This statement of “I could be doing other things with MY
time” is specific in how the mind exists only within the consideration of itself – namely consideration of it's own 'experiences' as energy to such an extent where it will actually disregard the practical, physical real-time reality in which we exist in favor of the 'quantum time', 'private' universe one is able to create within our internal 'secret' reality in which we areapparently able to 'do so much'
and 'experience so much' that the practical physical reality time seems so slow and sluggish and boring in comparison.
But what is missed here is the fact that in the 'quantum time' of the mind were are not actually HERE – we are actually off in an alternate universe/dimension/reality of our own creation and this alternate reality can only exist in the form of energy – which is thoughts, feelings, emotions, and all the 'experiences' one is able to have within the mind – and in this kind of energetic existence within our minds we believe we are 'in control' and that we are directing ourselves when we have those internal mind experiences – when in fact we are actually being lead around like a puppet on a string, following one thought to another, believing that such thoughts are who we are and that we are in some way benefiting or expanding ourselves when we exist in such mind realities – neverMIND the fact that those thoughts and feelings andemotions are not in any way self directed
– which one can easily see for oneself when one self-honestly considers the 'random' nature of our mental excursions – where one picture jumps into the next and thoughts seem to come in rapid succession all without our active direction – so by this very point alone how can it be that we are in any way directing ourselves within our experience when we allow ourselves to drift off into the quantum time of the mind, where we are basically becoming an audience member watching pictures and allowing ourselves to have experiences and reactions based on those pictures while the real time, practical reality is ignored.
So here I am supporting myself within the realization that there is no such thing as “My time” - because the quantum time of the mind is not in any way based on the mechanics and dynamics of our practical and physical reality and if I want to actually get anything done effectively and actually experience myself, direct myself, and expand myself for real and not just as pictures in my private mind, then I must support myself and train myself to operate within real-time.
Self-Forgiveness on participation within 'my time'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as 'my time' which is only an experience within my mind that is not in any way based on practical physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I am experiencing myself within the 'quantum time' of the mind where I am looking at past memories, re-living previous experiences, having conversations within my mind, or simply off in some random thought or daydream, that I am actually directing myself and that I am the experiences I am having within my mind - instead of realizing that who I am is actually HERE, constant and consistent and that within the mind I am actually only feeding my mind consciousness system by generating energy as thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'working things out' when I am in my quantum time mind experiences, instead of realizing that anything that I come up with within that state of quantum mind will not actually be based on what is here and thus will not be real or applicable in my physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately manipulate myself within retreating into my 'private time' within my mind where I then allow myself to be taken 'on a ride' as entertainment and distraction from my practical physical reality and my human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the experience of 'me' within the quantum time of my mind and within this to thus form a resistance to slowing down, silencing the mind and stopping/deleting the pictures and working with what is here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the 'speed' at which I experience thoughts, emotions, feelings, and energetic experiences within my mind and within this to form a resistance and aversion to doing things practically breath by breath, moment by moment, one point at a time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow procrastination and laziness within believing that I am able to function and direct my practical physical reality the same way that I direct my 'private' mental reality without taking into consideration the fact that I am not able to do anything quantum in this reality and that if I do want to accomplish something effectively I must use what is here instead of trying to create it in my mind realities and then attempting to only exist in those mind realities because apparently it is 'easier' that way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'settle' and compromise that which I am able to be and become and actually experience within my physical world as the expression of me by accepting the 'mental/quantum' version that is created within my mind, which has no actual way to manifest practically in my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and irritated within participating in practical physical reality breath by breath, one point at a time, within the development of 'me' as ego within my mind and not allowing myself that this is actually preventing me from being effective in my world – which only creates a greater addiction to the 'release' of existing within my mental realities.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is the experiences I am able to have within my mind and to 'settle' for these experiences instead of applying myself within my practical, physical world where I have the opportunity to live me for REAL as the actual substance of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and hold a grudge against myself for who I am and what I have become in my physical reality as well as how my physical human body has shaped and developed and to instead create preferences within my mind as to how I would rather be experiencing myself and to then create those experiences in my mind instead of taking responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed and to realize that I am able to actually change and BE that which I would like to be if I align myself practically.
Thus I see and realize that 'my time' does not actually exist and that 'my time' is a creation of and as my mind in self-interest where I am actually disregarding all of what is here and making the statement that I myself get to determine what happens in 'time' like some kind of almighty god, where apparently all of existence must do what I want to do and accommodate me and my self interest.
When I see myself zoning out and allowing myself to procrastinate on tasks which I see I require to do in my practical reality, where the doing of these tasks will in fact assist and support me with my practical living and the walking of my process, and I experience the 'tugging' of the mind and desire to put the task off for a 'later time', I will stop and support myself by ensuring that I am HERE and that I do the task that requires to be done one breath at a time, and then move on to the next task.
Instead of allowing myself to play the game of 'time' and allowing excuses of 'I don't have enough time', I will simply support myself by breathing and realizing that when I am here as breath there is ample time in my days to accomplish that which I would like to accomplish if I direct myself effectively.
As suggested by Anu in his interview I see the practicality of simply moving from one point onto the next, one point at a time, and to 'measure' my time in terms of actions and doings instead of by values such as hours, days, or by the amount of experiences I am able to have within my mind – and instead utilize 'time' as a unit of measurement as I organize and plan my daily actions and doings – effectively supporting myself to be 'timeless'.
Practical implementation - When and as I see myself wanting to procrastinate and put off a task and making the statement “I can do that later” I will support myself to investigate why I am putting off the task and what is the 'alternative' that my mind is suggesting I do with the time I have available?
Here I am able to see if I am simply allowing myself to be distracted/controlled by the mind within it's addiction to energy and stimulation through thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, experiences, etc.
The practical living of this investigation would be to ask myself the following questions -
“Am I putting this task off because I am wanting to experience energy as the mind?”
“Is what I am doing actually accumulating that which is best for all, or am I allowing myself to diminish by trying to create my own 'heaven' experiences within my mind?"
"Can I stand before eternity and all of existence and be okay with doing what I am doing/participating in now?"
Such questions I will utilize as a 'check-in' for self to ensure that I am not allowing myself to be taken for a ride within my mind and neglecting to apply myself effectively within my world and taking responsibility for what is here.