Let your children color on the walls • Desteni - Group of people exploring Equality & Oneness principles

There is a mistake some parents often make - and that is punishing their children when they have made a mistake. The reaction from the parents is a product of the emotions they feel within them at that certain time, which they then speak and show in their face and manners and project it unto the child. But it actually has nothing to do with the child - it is all about them, and the emotions they have not properly dealt with.
For example take a small child who is taking a cup of coffee that the mother put there, to try and give it to the mother who went into another room or who went back to lay in bed. The child is not as skilled as an adult to carry a cup of liquid, so it spills more often. The child spills, lets say, on the covers of the bed. The mother reacts in anger and surprise. The child as a result, hears the louder voice and shocked or angry face, and feels the chock in itself. The child cannot rationalize it, or dismiss it. The child has been given the example that: making a mistake = bad. Even when you do it with good intensions to help another, or make another happy, as a gift etc...  
Or a small child may be playing with colors, and starts to color on the wall. Same scenario may occur with the parents reactions.
As a result of these things, children can develop fears of making mistakes, of doing something "wrong" and not being "good enough". Because it has internalized this reaction and pattern, where it will play out on a subconscious level. So one may end up with a fear of failure without even knowing where it comes from.
It can also start to limit the children in the way they express themselves, they become more "on guard" for others, fearful of others. They may become a person who fears others rejection - and becomes totally dependant on the acceptance and approval of others. A person who tries to be liked by everyone, and tries to avoid a negative judgment. Where you are now constantly focused on trying to "fit in", instead of expressing yourself. We can all see that this limits free will. Because as soon as something like that pattern is programmed within you, on subconscious and unconscious levels - you are not free anymore. You will often react on this pattern, thinking this is "you", but it is simply how "you" have been created by your upbringing and all it's circumstances.
So beware of the example you set for your children.
If they color on the wall, do not punish them. If they accidently spill, don’t yell at them. Learn to communicate effectively with your child, so that the child in return may learn to communicate effectively as well. Learning that life is about cooperation and understanding, not about punishment and obedience. So that they learn to take chances, dare to express themselves, extend their possebilities and not be afraid of fucking up. Life would be an adventure, not a dangerous place of survival.

Let them color on the wall, it may give color to your life.