Written originally by Bernard Poolman on the forum on 31 August 2007 12:37 am
Now this is a fascinating point.
Within the depths of forgiveness I discovered something I am sure all would like to share with all mankind
In every point where we are challenged--lies a gift--I call this the gift of reversal
The secret is here to take what you have experienced and see how it assisted you in becoming more aware and specific. To look what you have become an expert in not accepting again for yourself or for any other life. Then look at what seemingly reveal as not acceptable--and search within yourself how this experience or event may be used to find a way where you may unfold from the experience a gift. Take this gift that will reveal as the essence of your inner strength and live it practically in this world in a way which will assist others to discover their own life essence.
See, many years ago, I found forgiveness--and in the night of my experience I found the essence of the importance of self honesty and how that set me free--I was married to a deep trance medium and then a surprise--a visit form the guides of the Great White light with many "gifts" beautifully wrapped up like this
The first was the gift of the wolf--the gift of focus, insight and seeing direct--the name of the wolf was Leader of the pack--the message was that I have earned this through lifetimes and must practice this and become it--so I did--I thought I was visited by God--it was said through the trance that the white light was that in whose face no-one can look as the light was too bright--I was grateful and practiced--I tried to speak to people about it, but they thought I was crazy. The being said he would return
And he did--3 weeks later again--another gift from the great white light--this time it was the gift of the bear--the gift of strength and gentleness--The message was that with the same paw that the bear is gentle with its offspring, is the same paw that can kill with one blow--the name of the bear was Big bear of the woods--again the words--you earned this through lifetimes and it is time to remember--and again--he would return
And he did--3 weeks later--he was back--this time with the gift of patience and perseverance from a being Of the mountain--saying as the mountain man needs perseverance to find food with patience seeking among the rocks--that is what I must practice--again the words--this is a gift from the great white light and I earned it and must remember and integrate and practice it--again he said he would return
and he did--3 weeks later--and this time it was the gift from CloudDancer with the gift of joy--the joy that fill the clouds as the gift to earth and again the same words--a gift from the great white light etc.
I was obviously feeling honored and wondering what I was going to do with these gifts that would mean anything but an experience for me--I searched for answers--to no avail
and again--after 3 weeks they were back--a whole group everytime--a group of red indians singing a song which my ex-wife and the children could see and hear--they were singing a song calling the light and all was very special--the next gift was the gift of the fox--not the slyness of the fox but the cunningness to plan well--the same white light gift words followed and again they said they would return
and they did--3 weeks later--always 3 weeks--it was fascinating--and they brought the gift from the being Desert snake--the gift of steadfastness saying I must look my problems in the eye just as a snake lifts its head and look a prey in the eyes--and again the same words of the white light etc.
started to sound like brainwashing, doesn't it--again they said they would return and they did--this time the being was Stride in freedom--the gift of the horse of power and grace--and again the same white light words and would you believe--again they said they would return
and they did--this time with the gift of oration from Amran, Agmed and Kahlil--they said--Speak--it is written in the ethers--again the practise part and the white light part
I was gratefull and confused--lots of profound words and I don't know what to do with--had no desire to go and preach
Then an interesting thing happened--they would return every 3 weeks to check on how well I am practising and be quite demanding if I don't--I thought I was weak in the eyes of God and focussed on practising
But--the event that lead to my forgiveness experience was a marriage in trouble and we decided to do forgiveness face to face aloud which we did for about 8 hours during which my whole body started shaking and I could see beings interdimensionally and it was wonderful and seem to save the marriage
so I asked these beings what will happen to the marriage and they painted a beautiful picture of bliss and happiness
Then--a few months after the gifts--my ex informed me there is some-one else--I was shocked and asked the being how that is possible--I trusted them and God and now this--the words did not come true--Gods words did not come true and they told me my ex had choice--I did not understand--How could choice exist where God ordains
I had a nervous breakdown but still I trusted that God had a higher purpose for me--so I practice and I did forgiveness--all the time--the same point a hundred times a day till I felt clear and free and nothing of fear moved in me. At this stage I experienced a very deep depression, because these guides that were guiding me suddenly left and did not return. The depression lasted about three months in which I felt unsupported and alone.
Then I challenged myself to speak--oration--I set up a talk and invited people and I spoke and it was like automatic--but in one moment that changed--I looked back at the white board I was writing on and saw the words jumping out at me in sound--I froze as if in timelessness and looked with amazement at it--For 30 odd years have I walked this world and never seen that words were alive--they are sound--I showed every-one there--about 20 people, but no-one could see it.
Then the beings did not return--I went to psychics to try and contact them--no go--spiritualist churches--no go
I seeked understanding--I could not live in this world anymore--nothing wanted to work--it was as if I could not function--not in business or sex or relationships with people--I saw them as magnificent--and yet I heard this drivel pouring from their mouths as living creatures that become their experience in their world and they could not see it.
Later I found a book with channeled messages that explained this event to me as a changing of the guides--this depression I experienced--it was a book from Kryon. And then for a while I followed Kryon religiously because it made sense and because of Conversations with God which I studied--this was one of these coincidences where God spoke to me and it all made sense. So I studied indigo children and I found a purpose to try and help them to effectively prepare the way for a new world. Only to find that these children were really screwed up as if God deliberately destroyed any chance for them to ever be effective in this world. I didn't understand: it was as if God deliberately did not want man to experience the true nature I saw in each man and woman and child. Yet I trusted there must be a greater purpose.
So I was alone--no contact with beings--no support from any one--my family calling me a Satanist because I had contact with the white light and refused to follow the bible--they were reborn Christians--my world keep on starting and then collapsing--then I withdrew to write down what I experienced in a practical guide to help people see they are living words--I prepared for 2 years and then taught for 2 years--yet no-one applied forgiveness for themselves--every time they wanted something from this world that is created by living creature destructive words
I cried, I prayed, I shouted
Then I met a zulu shaman--a very old lady and she introduced me to a mermaid interdimensionally--her message--she wanted me to succeed--but in what--I still did not understand
Then I remembered something told to me many years back by a voice--Find a reason for the people to listen
And I have been seeking for that reason--the guide to practical living where all is one and equal
See, I refused to be what the white light wanted me to be and thus my world stopped
Yet I turned all the gifts that was deceptive into practical gifts that supports me in supporting life--humans, animals and nature
I did not expect to find what we did with the portal--obviously due to my less than happy experience with the white light, I was steadfast, yet with power and grace and strength and gentleness and patience and perseverance and focus and insight that I practiced to serve life as my equal to bring forth the greatness I see as me as I see it in each being--no matter what--against all odds
Yes--I deleted the white light and soul construct in one moment--I realized in that moment that who we are--who I am is who life is and I will not be enslaved or allow life to be enslaved--I did not realize this could be done until I did it--I even tried to fix it first--stupidly having a moment of concern that I did something terribly wrong--the portal assisted greatly in confirming I am not going mad
The great surprise--The same being that brought the gifts from the white light was the same that asked me a question--After all this--assisting demons and seeing how forgiveness release demons--wouldn't you trust God? I looked in the infinite breath moment I had already practiced and said--No--and then went to challenge the white light and went straight into it--something apparently not allowed
And that was it
I realized a wonderful thing about human beings--I realized that any human being that would have gone through experiences like I did would have acted in the interest of all life--that is the trust I have in life
The dimensions are going through the same forgiveness application as in practical living that we all may stand up for each other--even when we are lost in some mind construct and do whatever it takes to wake each other up
I ask humbly, walk next to me that we all may walk one day as one--equal in all ways for always
This I see in each one of us and I will reveal it till all see themselves as who they really are
So this is the reason why the portal exist and the reason for desteni--it is not a purpose--something that exist as the reality within each being is beyond purpose--it is the gift of self
Never give up on yourself--you are worthy of life itself
This is the gift I realized--I could not understand why I was receiving these gifts. Why were all human beings not also receiving these gifts?
Then I realized these gifts as stated--from the wolf, the bear, the mountain man, clouddancer, the fox, the snake, the horse and oration were gifts for every one. We were all special--we could all realize the words we speak are alive as us--The words are the gifts of life we can give to ourselves to create our inner being to the greatness we truly are. Just some discipline, focus and awareness in the use of words will bring this gift to each one of us.
So, realize--these gifts as yourself--accept them and integrate them and live them and give yourself the gift of forgiveness born from slavery and experience the process of setting yourself free and in that realize that slavery give you the gift of yourself--just apply and accept
I realized that it is possible for anyone to stand as all as one as life to purify self as life. And that as more join this standing for all as one as life the following statement becomes a living reality:
Where two or more stand in my name says life, there I am as life and that seed will be planted as life in each one we come in contact with. That is the nature of life as shown by nature as earth where all of earth supports each other. It is time for man to realize our nature--we are from Earth. And earth is the secret of creation--this is where man as a universe is born--yet the uni=one and verse as sound--One Sound
enjoy