25 January 2010

Resonances: Okay, this is Maite and Leila’s Resonances. This is with regards to a particular point which we’ll refer to as the ‘Sibling Construct’.

Maite & Leila: (Laughing)

Resonances: Okay. But this point in particular in relation to the two of you - is your brother Gabriel. Okay?

So we’ve got Leila, Maite, Gabriel – all right? [drawing]

Now, what’s quite interesting – let’s maybe first start with ‘Why’ we’re doing this particular interview – is that: when Gabriel left, the two of you went through interesting definitive Behavioural Changes, which was very prominent and very noticeable by us.

Resonances: Have you noticed it?

Maite: I haven’t noticed it.

Leila: No.

Resonances: Okay. So – we’ll show you what happened, the difference between ‘when he was here’ and ‘when he was away’.

Maite & Leila: Okay.

Resonances: Now, what this cause in terms of your ‘Individual Worlds’ and your experiences is that it influences underlyingly.

Maite & Leila: Okay.

Resonances: In other words, in terms of for example we did the interview with you and Gian wherein you found, like, points of irritation and agitation coming up inside you towards him, in certain situations and experiences.

Leila: Ya.

Resonances: Those agitations and irritations is actually related to yourself in relation to Gabriel.

Leila: Okay.

Resonances: Okay?

Maite – yours didn’t or do not affect your world as much as it actually affects you. In other words, you don’t reflect it towards LJ. It influences your ‘Internal Behaviour’. Because, if you have a look, Leila is more the ‘Extrovert’, you’re more the ‘Introvert’.

Maite: Ya.

Resonances: So, you would express yourself extrovertly, ‘exert’ yourself outward – and you will ‘invert’ in yourself. So, you have: you are ‘Extrovert’ and you are ‘Introvert’.

Leila: When did that change?

Maite: That didn’t change.

Resonances: You are outward and you’ll invert/inward.

Now – the noticeable Behavioural Changes that happened was as follows: While Gabriel was here – okay – we had Leila being in a relatively more, let’s say, ‘Expressive’, ‘Intense’ - Way of Being – especially with other beings. You were more ‘Noticeable’ in your expression. It is like an intensity that was within you within everything that you would normally do, how you’d normally be – but it would be a slight bit more heightened – your ‘Frequency’ of your ‘Expression’ was a bit more ‘way up there’. It was if you were walking on a certain ‘Level of Frequency’. You were the same in everything that you do, but it was just more... intense.

Leila: Okay.

Resonances: Maite –

Leila: The opposite.

Resonances: Yes. Maite became more extracted. You were less seen, much more in your room, kind of ‘Disappearing’ in the Participation within Everything and Everyone on the Farm. It was almost like your Presence was ‘Non-Existent’.

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: So – Leila went into being noticeable. Maite went into being non-existent.

Leila: (Laughing)

Resonances: When Gabriel left, what happened was Leila had mood-swings – points of Irritation and Agitation in terms of her ‘World’ and her ‘Environment’ – ‘Triggered’ her more quickly – therefore her Moods were more ‘Intense’- Equal to the intensity her expression was Extrovertly while Gabriel was here.

Maite became more Bubbly and Expressive and again ‘Emerged’ from her ‘Cave’.

Maite & Leila: (Laughing)
Resonances: And laughing again, much more. Leila’s face went kind of all sour. Okay? You noticed?

Leila: Ya.

Resonances: You’re kind of seeing it slightly?

Maite: Yeah – I saw the change from – that kind of ‘uplifting’, but I didn’t see it in relation to Gabriel.

Leila: Yeah, I didn’t see the ‘big connection’.

Resonances: Okay, so – now you’ve got to look at: Why.
So – you have Gabriel, Leila, Maite [drawing] – we’re gonna start with Maite.

Okay, Maite – the reason Why for example you went into Experiencing yourself as ‘Non-Existent’, retracting yourself from Participation with other beings and things like that – is: you have a, you’ve got like a ‘Management System’ inside you. In which you kind of ‘Submerge yourself’ into the Background trying to ‘manage’ Gabriel through ‘Keeping an Eye on him’.

Maite: Yeah, that makes sense.

Resonances: So you’re whole world for that moment while Gabriel was here, was kind of in..Anxiety,

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: Wanting to ‘Keep an Eye on him’ and manage him through going into a ‘submerged’ kind of like a ‘Observer View-Point’ – like a ‘Presence’ for him, to keep an eye on him, to keep him in such a way ‘in place’. But you kind of – therefore you as who you are disappeared, because you then stepped into just a ‘Presence Mode’ and you ‘zoned-in’ into that ‘beingness of yourself’ and you just made sure that he remains in place. It’s kind of you took in a position to keep him in position -

Maite: Yeah, that makes sense.

Resonances: Resonantly.

Leila: Now I see like – a lot like how it was at home as well.

Resonances: Yeah, we’ll get to that – why that happens.

Maite & Leila: (Laughing)

Resonances: That’s one dimension of that – okay?

Leila – on the other hand, in her ‘Expressive Way of Being’, she feels that she sometimes when Communicating or Participating with Gabriel, compromised herself, in conversation or in your way of being towards him - In other words, wherein you could for a very finite moment See that whatever you’re doing in ‘your way of being towards him’, talking, participating = that you are supporting his Mind Consciousness System Idea, Design, Manifestation and so will you, yours – meaning: you go into a ‘Compromise-Relationship’ with him.

Leila: Okay.

Resonances: Wherein you know that you were dishonest towards yourself and towards him.

Leila: Ya, okay.

Resonances: And then that manifested Guilt. In that Guilt, you created the ‘Agitation’ and the ‘Irritation’ towards yourself.

Leila: Okay, ya – makes sense now.

Resonances: It’s like when, after you’ve been with him, you feel shitty. It’s like...

Leila: ... something was not...

Resonances: ‘right’, ‘in place’. Maybe, in the moment you enjoyed it in the moment for that moment – but not Real Enjoyment, it was just – you ‘Lost yourself’ for a moment there –

Leila: Yea.

Resonances: and then you come out of it again and you go ‘Oh – where was I, what did I do?’.

Leila: Even, like, in it – I’m doing it and it’s like ‘what am I doing now?’ – but I just continued, ‘cause it was like...

Resonances: You must listen to those experiences where you start becoming Uncomfortable, Physically. You’ve got to Stop, you’ve got to See:
Is this uncomfortability a point of resistance?
Is this a point of dishonesty within myself?
How is my participation here?
what’s my words, am I here, am I breathing,
Am I speaking directly as I would speak to anyone else?
Am I speaking or communicating or being with him in a certain way just because he’s my brother?
Am I going into wanting to feed a memory of our Past-Experiences of being three siblings, a family, wanting that energy again... -
You understand how to look at it?

Leila: Yeah.

Resonances: Okay – Now, that’s the most ‘Core Platform-Point’ of what’s Happened in terms of the ‘Difference’ and how it’s currently influencing your experience. Because now, that agitation and irritation you’re reflecting towards Gian, that is influencing you to not direct Gian effectively. Because you’re in the background still dealing with this [pointing at drawing]. It’s where you haven’t been able to, when Gian comes at you, kind of ‘Stand’ and ‘Direct’. He ‘enticed’ this point – the agitation and irritation – so it’s coming out so you can See-it. That’s why he’s ‘played’ that position for a moment where he irritates and agitates you for something.

Leila & Maite: (Laughing)

Resonances: Slightly. You must be very – you’re at a stage now, Leila, where your reactions are very fine, meaning: there’s moments where you’ll go “Bff” – like this, just like a vibration, a very quick, fine vibration – especially with Gian sometimes, you’ve got to observe that. Because you still build those moments and then you get to a day where it’s just a ‘Fucked-up-day’.

Leila: Ya, ya, I see that.

Resonances: It’s very, very fine. You’ll feel it –

Leila: Like a little breeze of vibration.

Resonances: You’ll feel it like here underneath your ribs, you’ll go – and just where your chest is, where your breasts end in the centre, right there – you’ll feel it’ll like vibrate, very slightly – you have to be Aware of Yourself in Breath.

Leila: Yeah (Laughing)

Resonances: You’ll sometimes. Where does it often happen is where he does these – like a movement – he does certain very ‘Sharp Movements’ with his Body.

Leila: Oh – oh ya.

Maite & Leila: (Laughing)

Leila: I always think he’s going to slap me.

Resonances: That causes a “Vwf” -

Leila: Ya.

Resonances: Vibration inside you.

Maite & Leila: (Laughing)

Resonances: But if you have a look: Why is that happening? If you have a look at his Movements, Physically – it’s Direct, it’s like ‘Straight’.

Leila: Ya.

Resonances: To the point – Here, Here, Here, Here, Here. So – but that he’s practised in ‘Physically Grounded’ with the work on the Farm already.

Leila: Ya.

Resonances: He hasn’t yet Manifested that into his ‘Beingness’. But remember, it first happens through you Living an Application and then through the Living you Become-it Equal and One. But you have to take that step of Living-it. So that Direction is – he’s showing you ‘Physically’ who you must be to Assist and Support yourself and him within the Agreement.

Leila: Yeah, okay.

Resonances: See how that play-out’s working? Okay.
Maite – more Detail in terms of ‘Why’ you go into a ‘Submissive-role’ with Gabriel.

Leila: It’s a lot of information.

Resonances: You can listen to it again, but you are following it so far, though?

Leila & Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: I know I’m moving one Point and you Integrate-it, you Understand-it and you Move-on to the Next. So, afterwards you can listen to it in more detail again and I’m certain more points will open-up. If you’re seeing how I move and you’re staying with me with every point, it’s fine.

Leila & Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: You don’t have to try and go into your Mind now to ‘Remember’. You’ve got it in the Moment, you know you’ve got it, so if you have any questions afterward we can discuss them. Or even – once you’ve listened to it again. But realize that in the Moment you’ve got it – you’re Here, You see it and that’s it and you let it go.

So now the Submission.
You feel Responsible for Gabriel’s actions. Okay? So you’re also, quite interestingly enough, in a Manifestation of Guilt,

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: just in a different way.

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: So you both are existing within ‘Guilt’. You from the sense of Self-Compromise and you from the sense of ‘Believing you’ve Compromised-him’.

Maite: Ya.

Resonances: Okay. From the perspective that – and it’s not defined – meaning: it’s almost like this ‘Natural Born Instinct’ that’s Manifested within you of ‘you believing that you are responsible for Gabriel’s life’. And whatever ‘he does’ or ‘does not do’ = you are Directly-Responsible for that.

Maite: Okay.

Resonances: Now, so what Gabriel has been through within his life up to this point here of ‘Who’ and ‘How’ he is – you felt Directly-Responsible. You felt now you’ve got to manage him

Maite: ... to deal with that.

Resonances: ... to ‘Rectify’ what ‘You Believed you have Done unto him’.

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: Okay? Within that as well, the reason why you went into that ‘submission’, ‘submerged’ Background-Role, kind of disappearing - is because you felt embarrassed by Gabriel. Embarrassment from the Perspective of: ‘You wanted to make sure that he doesn’t create or instigate havoc again within his... in relation to his past experiences, that might ‘threaten’ you and Leila’s place or position here on the Farm.’ So, you took in the position of keeping a very sharp eye to make sure that you secure your place here, that he doesn’t mock up your life.

Maite: Yeah, that makes sense.

Resonances: Okay. So, those are the Primary-Points that you guys have to look at in relation to your relationship with Gabriel.
You from the Perspective of ‘Guilt’ of ‘Self-Compromise’.
You from the Perspective of ‘Guilt’ of ‘Believing that you were Entirely-Responsible for Gabriel’s life’ and that you were ‘the cause’ for ‘why’ he is ‘who’ and ‘how’ he is. In the greater perspective, resonantly, that point do exist, in terms of – there is much more that we could do in moments.

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: Where, if we look back at our lives, we see moments where we could’ve been more Direct, where we could’ve been more Straightforward, more Frank about certain points that, wherein we allowed fear to interject.

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: But now realize that the Past we cannot do anything about. There is no Reason to Exist in Guilt because of those points. The only Gift that we can Give ourselves within this Experience is to Learn From-that.

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: And make that Definitive Decision of being frank – frank, direct and straightforward. ‘Cause you girls have that ‘Ability’ within you to be that, it’s only – it’s kind of like – it’s something that you Develop, wherein you start – initially you have to first walk through the ‘Fear of Being Straightforward’, Direct and Frank and within that fear you sometimes make mistakes where the ‘Penetration’ in relation to the being is a bit ‘Extensive’ and then you start ‘Shaping’ your Directness, Straightforwardness and Frankness and take into consideration the being. And then you start developing ‘where’ and ‘how’ you can ‘throw-in’ those sharp points, you know, like really open up points.

But that only also comes in when you realise there’s a Responsibility within-that Expression.

Maite: Ya.

Resonances: When you open up a point, you’ve got to Walk the being through that point With the being until it comes to a point of Solution. It’s not – you don’t just say something and then leave-it. You always make sure that You take Responsibility for your Words and the Consequences your Words have within your World as You.
Does that make sense?

Maite & Leila: Ya.

Resonances: And that’s what you both still have to ‘step-into’ and ‘embrace’ – is that whole point, but it’ll start developing more naturally – okay.

So – how this play-out happens in terms of siblings is:
Usually when you have three children, the one child will take the role of ‘Matriarch’ and the ‘Patriarch’ – meaning: The Mother and The Father – and the two others will be ‘Siblings’. Okay? When you for example have two children, same thing happens: the one goes into the ‘Dominant-role’, the other one into the ‘Submissive-role’. That’s the whole Construct of the Family; you have Dominance and Submission with the kids. And then the children play-out the whole Family Construct, which is them and the parents which Manifest – it’s quite fucked up. When you have for example one child – the one child will either go to two extremes, which will be: a Dominant-role within their group of friends or a very Submissive-role within their group of friends; a ‘Loner’ or a ‘Popular Person’. That’s how that play-out happens.

Now – with Gabriel, he took in the role of ‘Mother and Father’, the two of you – so then, within him standing in that Position, the two of you Manifested as ‘Opposites’, which is the ‘Extrovert’ and the ‘Introvert’. Here you have [family with 2 children:] Extrovert and Introvert – [family with one child:] Extrovert or Introvert. That’s how the Design always played-out.

Okay, so even within that, I suggest you both work with that Self-Definition of being ‘Extrovert’ or ‘Introvert’, just – apply Self-Forgiveness on both.

Maite & Leila: Yeah.

Resonances: Because even though you’re an Extrovert, you’re also an Introvert within yourself – meaning: you don’t easily Share.

Leila: I never saw myself as ‘an Extrovert’.

Resonances: Well, if you ask anyone on the Farm – they’d define you as an extrovert.

Maite & Leila: (Laughing)

Leila: Okay – I was just looking at school-experiences.

Resonances: I’m talking Now – Right Now. Yes, you’re an Introvert within yourself, meaning: you won’t easily Share stuff – yet, you’re Extrovert within your Behaviour.

Leila: Okay.

Resonances: You’re Introvert in your Behaviour – yet, you’re Extrovert in your Sharing. But what you’re living out is the Dynamics that happens in the whole Family/Sibling Construct.

So, now what happened in terms of one aspect – meaning: One-Dimensional Perspective in terms of ‘Why’ Gabriel went through that experience that he did, particularly when the three of you started participating within Desteni – because his, in terms of a Sibling Design, his position had a ‘Purpose’, which is the two of you – kind of holding that position of managing the two of you within your experience – there was a ‘sense’ of stability the two of you experienced with him.

Leila & Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: Then what happens is both of you went on your ‘Path of Independence’ so to speak. Both became independent.

Maite: The children go away.

Maite & Leila: (Laughing)

Resonances: Yes. You left the parents. Now, the parents is Gabriel – he didn’t have any Purpose, he didn’t have any Reason anymore. That’s what he started feeling, that’s why he went into depression, extremely so – even more extensively than all the previous times. Because now he felt – now this is all Resonantly, Unconsciously – that he lost his ‘Purpose’, that he lost his ‘Reason in his Life’. And he didn’t know how to direct himself for himself, because his Direction as ‘Purpose’ as ‘Reason’ was defined according to the two of you. So, his Whole World in essence collapsed, his whole Mind Consciousness System Design in terms of taking that Role within the Sibling Construct, was gone – because the two of you did not relate to him the same as you did before –

Maite & Leila: Ya.

Resonances: or even Resonantly ‘Resonate’ the same as you did before. So – that makes sense how he and why he had to go through those experiences?

Leila & Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: And then Bernard interjected to assist him with giving him a ‘Window of Opportunity’ through which he could Stand and Direct himself to find his Own ‘Purpose’ and ‘Reason’ so to speak – for himself, for his own life again. So that he can stand on his own two feet. It might be a bit difficult, but just to give you an experience of where he’s at at the moment – and where the two of you are. Okay?

Leila: Ya.

Resonances: It’s a lot of stuff.

Maite: Just, like, imagine that we would have stayed always in the same triangle, that would be worse.

Resonances: You know, it’s like – even with the whole Family Construct for example, the parents influence the children to such an extent that the children cannot be ‘Individual’ within their ‘Expression’. Therefore, mostly, the best thing for parents to do is to let their children live independently in the world to have their own experiences so to speak.

Because, otherwise – the parents have a ‘hold’ on the children the whole time. I mean – luckily for the two of you even, you grew up independently from your parents, you didn’t have a ‘Close Connection/Relationship’ with them, which allowed you to Discover-yourself so to speak.

So, with Gabriel it’s the same point now. He has to kind of ‘Go’, for the two of you to develop yourself, because you can see, still – in what I described now during this interview – how he’s still influencing you, how you’re still influencing him. He couldn’t walk his path, because you were still Holding that Position for him to be ‘how he believed himself to be’. Okay?

So – now, he’s on his path, you guys are here, so you guys can sort your stuff out, you can be in a more ‘Directive-role’ within yourself to live as an example for him. And then he’s walking the same thing, just in a more ‘Experienced World Matrix’-Way. So, you’ve got...

Everyone will get to the same Point – just in different ways – dependant also on your Individual Acceptances and Allowance, which is your ‘Consequence’ of Who you Are. This is all determining ‘how’ you walk your process and ‘how’ you’ll experience it –so it is all determined within who you are – each is Individually-Responsible.

Okay? That’s how it works.

Leila & Maite: (Laughing)

Resonances: So now just – just go to the point again, you’ll see how you’re still playing the Sibling-Role – get that whole Construct out. Also the Extrovert/Introvert is more a ‘Personal’ thing for the two of you – otherwise you’re playing it off even Resonantly within being Sisters.

It’s not so extensively, it’s already moved very much out – it’s now just a ‘Personal Manifestation’ at the moment.

Leila: ‘Cause I could see, like, going into that mode, what I found was the easiest way to make him ‘feel more at ease’ – so that’s what I would do, like suddenly jump into that role I did to make him feel more at ease type of thing.

Resonances: Well, you see, that’s how he tends to Manipulate.

Leila: Yeah. Oh – say that again?

Resonances: That’s how he’d Manipulate. In other words, he’d go into a certain experience Deliberately – you’d go in to make him feel better, meaning: he’s kind of like a vampire luring you in, saying ‘give me energy’ – so by you wanting to make him ‘feel better’ – you’re giving him energy.

Leila: Okay, ya.

Resonances: And then you Diminish. You feel Shitty. And then you get angry and irritated at yourself –

Leila: (Laughing)

Resonances: Because you kind of know what you did, but you feel it more.

Leila: It’s like self-betrayal.

Resonances: Ya.

Leila: Okay.

Resonances: Any questions?

Maite: Not at this point – I’ll listen to it again to see if anything comes up.

Leila: I can’t imagine what’s going to happen once our parents will be here.

Resonances: What?

Leila: Like, what’s gonna open up when both of our parents is gonna be here.

Resonances: It’s not – remember, in terms of, with your family – let me just see – it’s not so extensive, I mean: in terms of how you are with your mother is quite direct, because she’s already ‘standing by herself’ so to speak and you didn’t have an intimate relationship with your father, so there’s not ‘too much’ stuff. Most of it, you’ve already Seen and Walked Through. This point, in terms of your Actual Physical Behavioural change when Gabriel was here and not, that you hadn’t dealt with yet. The other stuff is more, ‘internal’, ‘emotional’ mind-stuff. Because later in life, your parents were kind of replaced with Gabriel.

Maite: Sorry, say that again.

Resonances: Your parents were replaced with Gabriel.

Maite & Leila: Oh ya.

Resonances: So therefore he became now your more, your ‘Physical Walking Process’ that you’ve got to Walk-Through, because He became the primary point in your life. And your parents moved kind of to the background.

Leila: That’s quite clear.

Resonances: You see, Gabriel is quite on his way now, I mean – in terms of: the parents point is out of the way – you’re now with this, will start to stand independently, which will resonantly assist and support him to be able to stand – or... he’ll have to force himself to stand. Meaning: it will go – he’ll determine it for himself. But you guys can, just be yourselves, who you are – be Self-Honest, that’s all that’s required, always – you don’t need to do anything for anyone, whatever is required to be said or done is always here in the moment, in self-honesty.

So, don’t worry so much, Maite.

Maite: Yeah, I was mostly when he was here. It’s like, when I would see him in the kitchen, there was immediately anxiety and it was like – like having to pay attention to everything I do, what I say to not influence him, or not cause anything.

Resonances: Yeah, you created him like a ‘Porcelain Doll’ almost.

Maite: Yeah.

Resonances: It’s all part of the point of wanting to keep him in ‘Maintenance’, ‘Maintaining’, not to say or do anything wrong – ya – like, that might...

Maite & Resonances: ...cause something.

Resonances: Ya – that would ‘alter’ your experience here and Inadvertently, you both kind of wanted to make sure that he remains just in a point of ‘okayness’ – not to cause any shit.

Maite & Leila: (Laughing)

Resonances: It’s quite interesting – okay.