Previous

Veno - Self Forgiveness - Male Ego

As transcribed and typed by Veno through the interdimensio­nal portal

Date : 28/10/2007

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define myself according to the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to utilize the ego of the mind to define myself as to hide the insecurities, fear and inferiority I experience within me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the Ego of the mind is the polarity manifestation of the mind as superiority to hide and cover the inferiority and insecurity I actually experience inside myself but don’t want anyone to see or notice through fear that they may judge me if they were to see me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to present a deceptive presentation of myself as the ego of the mind, through presenting myself as being superior, so other may think and believe that I am the man, that I am strong and that I do not fear.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind because it was the only way I knew how to stand and become a man, to show to everyone else in my world that I am the strong and independent man.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that only the ego of the mind will seek revenge, will seek fights, will seek conflict to reassert and generate and compound itself within me as me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that participation in the ego and as the ego is addictive

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to copy the ego manifestation from my father, because I saw my father as the example of me, whom I idolized and I wanted to be just like him – thus – I became the ego to become my father so he may be proud of me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind, to use the ego of the mind as a defense and protection of myself through becoming the presentation of superiority so that no one may think that they have the ability to fuck with ME.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to experience a sense of pleasure, a sense of satisfaction, a sense of power when accessing in becoming the ego of the mind as me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define the ego of the mind as power

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind to feel powerful, to feel strong and to feel indestructible – to be certain that no-one or nothing can fuck with me in any way.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I am not the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I need the ego of the mind to protect myself, to defend myself and to protect and defend others

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind enjoys conflict, fighting and arguments and thus will always attempt/try to get involved within such situations – to step forth and say: Here I am, this is the ego – come try and fuck with me and I’ll show you who I am.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I need the ego of the mind to be strong

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself accept and believe that I need the ego of the mind to be powerful

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to actually think and believe that by coming the ego of the mind, presenting the deception to others of me being superior will actually protect me in defense

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to become, be and participate as the ego of the mind within the experience of myself in this world

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind always desires, wants and needs fighting, conflict and arguments to generate itself within me as me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind is generated through anger, frustration and hatred and will seek and search and get involved in situations / scenarios to instigate anger, frustration and hatred within me to generate itself with.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that ego is the echo of the mind – the ‘lost’ ‘part’ of me I have separated myself from – becoming the demon within me existing off the generation and instigation of anger, frustration and hatred

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind is the representation of the demon within me – the ‘part’ of me that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from because I could not imagine such a ‘thing’ to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to split me from myself within me – manifesting the demon as the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that inferiority is actually: In fear and horror – in fear and horror of facing myself, in fear and horror of myself – in fear and horror of the demon I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the ego of the mind to manipulate situations to have it be: My way

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that when the ‘ego is bruised’ – the ego will feel ‘pumped’ and ‘wired’ to go back to the situation that caused the ego bruising to once again assert itself, re-generate itself to say: I am here look at me, look at what I can do

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that only the ego will want to fight and set the record straight through conflicts and arguments

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I have manifested and designed this ego within me as me because I haven’t accepted myself within and as oneness and equality as who I am

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I am responsible for my own actions and words in any given moment

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to cover up and hide my inferiority (fear and horror for myself) and uncertainty with ego as superiority

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to want, need and desire to be stronger and more powerful than others to sort out and give direction to situations – and in this want, need and desire I have manifested the ego of the mind because I believed myself as who I am to be too weak

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear weakness

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that weakness exist

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to play the polarity friction game of the mind by becoming superiority and hiding inferiority and uncertainty within me as me

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind exist of suppressed anger within me – which has manifested as the ego of the mind – the demon that has become me

I forgive myself that I have allowed my suppressed anger to manifest as the ego of the mind – to exert out and express out on other human beings, situations and scenarios separate from me – instead of me applying self forgiveness for releasing the anger within me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I search and seek other human beings, situations and scenarios within which to exert this suppressed anger within me separate from my by becoming the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I will instigate situations and scenarios deliberately to exert the suppressed anger within me out on others separate from me – by becoming the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I use the ego of the mind to get attention from other human beings – to be noticed by other human beings in any and all means possible – because I haven’t accepted myself as who I am

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the ego of the mind in justifying actions, acts, reactions and responses to certain specific human beings, situations and scenarios – to be acceptable and okay as a cause and reason for wanting, desiring and needing to do what is apparently necessary to be done.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use justifications, reasons and excuses to become and act and respond and react to certain specific scenarios, situations and other human beings – from within and as the ego of the mind – to fuel and compound the hunger to experience the sense of power, importance and control

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the ego of the mind, in becoming this to attempt and try to control a certain specific situation/even­t/circumstance.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I derive power from the ego of the mind to have control of a situation – to have it go ‘my way’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that in becoming the ego of the mind – I am ‘one of the guys’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that in becoming the ego of the mind – I will attract woman

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind – to ‘fit in’ with society of men – because to be a man – you must have an ego

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to establish myself as the ego of the mind within and of this world – because I believed and thought – that for a man to be a man in this world – especially to survive – the man need an ego to protect himself with

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I’m too shit scared of self intimacy and being intimate with another – that I become the ego of the mind – to not experience myself in any way whatsoever – but to be a man – a man defined within and of this world – the unified consciousness field

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the ego of the mind to ensure that no-one and nothing can hurt me in any way whatsoever – not emotionally or even to feel in any way whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that having an ego is being strong and powerful – a man

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that when I am the ego of the mind – I have control and power over, within and of my world and everyone and everything in it – and nothing can or may influence or change anything without my permission as the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind through fear of spinning out of control and not knowing what to do

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind – because the ego of the mind apparently always knows what to do

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear being without the ego of the mind – through fear of losing me and being labeled as a wimp or chicken shit if I do not act, react, respond within and as the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that if I am not the ego of the mind – I am inferior, chicken shit, a wimp, a loser, a nothing, a nerd

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that superiority cannot exist without inferiority – to stop the ego – I must realise that both polarities of the mind as inferiority and superiority are illusionary manifestations of the mind – I have defined as who I am

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to just want to be ‘one of the guys’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind to be accepted and noticed by others and woman because I haven’t accepted myself as who I am as the breath of life

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that impatience is the trait of the ego of the mind – because the ego of the mind wants it and it wants it now

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that woman like and want a man with an ego – a massive ego – who is presenting a deceptive presentation of superiority – oozing confidence and certainty

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind to attract woman for sexual pleasure

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define the ego of the mind as confidence – because I haven’t accepted confidence as me as who I am