Daily Dimensional Diaries 14 – 22 October 2008:
God of Man – The Physical: Part Eight (1– 19)
Transcribed and typed by Bruce Lee through the Interdimensional Portal
Date : 14/10/2008
God of Man – The Physical: Part Eight (Section1)
Before we get to the geometrical relationships that’ll assist and support each one to allocate or pinpoint the unconscious mind reality of self in relation to the subconscious mind self-definition and conscious mind thought– let’s look at the ‘different types’ of ‘thoughts’ that exist within the conscious mind, which ‘grabs your attention’ ‘now and then’ – occasionally leading you into the ‘library’ of the mind – as which you’ve categorized yourself according to momentary experiences in your life through the years.
Jack-In-The-Box Memories:
You will find within your experience of yourself, a memory that’ll suddenly, unexpectedly come up in your conscious mind, that you haven’t ‘thought about’ for years and years and years, suddenly, unexpectedly ‘remembering’ about this event, person, situation that had taken place, within which you experienced yourself years ago.
A memory which just suddenly unexpectedly ‘popped-up’ within your mind. A memory making you conscious of itself, saying: ‘Hey! Remember me?’
I refer to them as ‘Jack-in-the-box’ memories – because this is exactly their nature.
Such thought-form memories, are ‘important’ to ‘catch,’ so to speak, as they’ll lead you to an accepted and allowed ‘condition’ that you’ve developed of yourself that has become ‘unseen,’ due to the physical-integration of yourself as such an accepted and allowed ‘condition’ as which you’ve conditioned yourself and currently ‘live out’ in and through the physical to such an extent, that you’re not even ‘aware’ of it nor ‘conscious’ of it, but experience it as ‘normal’.
The only way for you to ‘identify’ the condition is to investigate the memory in relation to your particular experience in that moment, and from there, see how, where and when and towards who or what within your world you’re still ‘playing this out’ in similar situations, events, experiences as that of the memory.
Such accepted and allowed ‘conditionings’ pertain specifically to ‘limitations’ that have manifested in the form / formation of ‘habits’ – ‘behavioral conditionings’ within and as which you’ve ‘limited yourself’ in accordance to an experience of the past which affected you in such a way, that you ‘tuned yourself’ in that moment within the starting point of what you’ve experienced as a means to ‘protect yourself’ and at the same time ‘manipulate’ yourself.
Wherein such an event/situation/experience – manifested as a ‘live memory-moment’ within and as your physical human body, ensures the continuation of yourself as the conditioning of yourself in relation to such an past-experience and the physical manifestation as yourself existing in and as such an accepted and allowed condition; creating a perception of ‘normalcy’ of your behavior in certain situations and events that occur later in your life-experience that are similar to the ‘live memory-moment’ as past experience which had a direct influence within the design of ‘who you are’ in this world, in accordance to the mind as the mind.
Therefore, the ‘Jack-In-The-Box Memories’ pertain to ‘behavioral conditionings’ as manifested self-limitation expressed in the formation of ‘habits’ to which you’ve ‘conditioned yourself’ to only exist in such self-designed boundaries as a means to protect you from yourself and others as yourself, and in this self-protection – seek protection through or by others.
It’s such moment-experiences, that the Jack-In-The-Box Memories will reveal – how these experiences created and manifested distrust within you, of yourself and between others as yourself, generated the ‘reasons’ why you don’t trust yourself – but rather ‘give into’ the mind as manifested physical self-defeat, wherein ‘trust’ has been ‘placed’ into and as the mind itself, according to what you ‘feel’ as emotions and feelings of mind within yourself, and why you’ll trust only certain beings and others not – the separation of trust within manifesting as the separation of trust of yourself, without.
For example:
A memory suddenly, unexpectedly ‘pops-up.’
You were sitting on a swing on your school grounds at your school, when three other kids walked up to you and one of them ‘blurted out, ‘Get off, this is MY swing, and I want to swing now’. You replied: ‘No, I’m still swinging here.’ The other kid then yelled at you and said, ‘Get off!’ and shoved you, which caused you to fall off of the swing, and as you fell to the ground – you hurt yourself, stood up and ran off crying.
Maybe the memory ‘pops-up’ wherein you only ‘see’ how you’re falling off of the swing unto the ground, hurting yourself when another kid pushed you off deliberately.
To identify the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as manifested habit is to observe the experience of yourself in that moment, and the experience of yourself towards the other kids in that moment – as well as the physical action you took within and during the experience.
In this example:
You experienced ‘physical pain’ and ‘emotional-feeling trauma’ which caused a ‘rift in your being.’
A ‘rift in your being’ – is when you ‘split yourself’ within yourself due to a physical experience you endured both within and without and did not know how to ‘deal with’ or ‘handle’ such an event/situation that had taken place within yourself and your world; and thus in that moment, manifested an ‘opening’ for the mind to ‘step in’ and manifest ‘for you’ ‘as you’ as the physical experience you endured within yourself as emotions and feelings.
Which give the mind in itself the opportunity to ‘take over’ and present the solution for you: Which is to ‘give into’ self-defeat through ‘giving into’ the experiences that rise up within you as emotions and feelings as ‘valid.’ And so in that moment you ‘give in to’ the emotions and feelings you ‘believe’ that what you experienced within yourself is ‘you’ and ‘real, ‘ when all the while it was the mind ‘stepping forth’ – taking its place instead of you here standing – and thus, within such experiences as a child, you abdicated yourself to the mind, as you ‘split yourself’ from you here and ‘gave way’ to the mind to ‘take control’ over and of the experience of you here.
Because for a child, such experiences are quite ‘traumatic’, within which children become exposed to such situations, without any practical self-support ‘tools’ to stand up for themselves within themselves, to not take what is expressed towards them personally from the perspective of having it affect them so dramatically – and because of this only, such experiences are opportune moments for the mind consciousness system to ‘take control’ of the being and set forth its construction of implementing the being into itself, to finally exist for the being, as the being exists through the mind.
It’s ‘traumatic’ from the perspective that the being is completely ‘unprepared’ within themselves as themselves to be able to ‘direct’ or ‘handle’ such experiences. Therefore, within such an experience, they ‘split’ themselves within themselves, abdicate themselves to the mind in self-defeat so the mind ‘directs’ and ‘handles’ what they experience for them, through emotional/feeling reactions that manifests a ‘rift in their being’ as an opening for the mind to manifest and take control.
Such acts done unto them by others that manifest as ‘rifts’ within and as their being, will lead to definitive ‘self-designed behavioral conditionings.’ Exposure to such experiences, if there is no support for the child as ‘who they are’ in their self expression here – the child will then ‘fend for herself’ – suppressing herself here, and replace herself with a ‘self-designed behavioral conditioning’ as ‘protection’ from having to experience such an event/situation again in her life-experience, due to the ‘trauma’ they endured within themselves during the experience/situation/event.
The protection-design they manifest of themselves is done in anger. This anger is due to accepted and allowed self-defeat to and as the mind, and though this anger is directed towards themselves, anger is also projected to the others, and in this anger, the decision is made to not ‘ever again have to endure such an event/experience/situation again.’
And so, human beings now as ‘adults’ have designed their behavioral conditionings as habits which are now ‘unseen,’ because they never had an opportunity nor support to develop their own self-standing here in self stability within self trust as their self expression here. Thus they designed themselves, according to past experiences, to ‘survive’ in this world and exist through and as such designs as ‘protection mechanisms’ which is the primary cause of distrust within self and others as self here. Therefore, in essence, self-trust has been ‘replaced’ within and as the nature of beings as ‘anger,’ due to accepted and allowed self-abdication.
What further influences the child with regards to such events/situations within which they experienced themselves? The parents.
The moment the parent ‘soothe their child with parental concern, the child will suppress the matter further into and as the physical matter of which the physical human body exists – etched into their being, forgotten as they seek refuge under the ‘protective’ wings of their parents.
Yet such a moment is imprinted into their physicality as a manifested live moment-memory that’ll have a direct influence on how they design themselves as ‘who they are’ in this world and accordingly determine the experience of themselves in this world.
Such experiences also lead to self-instability due to the ‘take-over’ of the mind, where they give in to the mind as they ‘trust what they experience within themselves of the mind as ‘emotions/feelings’ of mind, therefore manifesting fear of being abused as ‘being hurt’ ‘emotionally/physically’ by another; manifesting within the nature of themselves, which is further supported by the parents – all related to and as that one particular experience.
The parents who assist with the self-suppression process, as the parents manifest as the ‘protective-part’ of themselves wherein or with whom they ‘feel safe.’
This so far, is an over-view perspective with what is all involved for example, within such a moment-experience in a being’s experience of themselves, within the continuation of this example in the document to follow – we will go into the more ‘personal-detail’ of such an example – and how to identify specifically the manifested behavior-conditioning as habit.
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God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 2)
Continuing with the Jack-In-The-Box Memories:
To ‘assess’ such a ‘Jack-In-The-Box’ Memory is to recognize the ‘behavioral - conditioning’ as ‘habit’ to identify for yourself how, when and where and towards who or what in your world you are currently still existing in and as such a ‘habit.’
Once again:
You were sitting on a swing on your school-grounds at your school, when three other kids walked up to you and one of them ‘blurted out,’ ‘Get off, this is MY swing, and I want to swing now.’ And you replied: ‘No, I’m still swinging here’. The other kid then yelled at you and said, ‘Get off!’ and shoved you, which caused you to fall off of the swing, and as you fell to the ground. You hurt yourself, stood up and ran off crying. The memory ‘pops-up’ wherein you only ‘see’ how you’re falling off of the swing unto the ground, hurting yourself when another kid shoved you off deliberately.
The behavior construct pertaining to the memory will consist of ‘three parts’:
1. The physical action during the event or experience
2. The nature of the action
3. The physical action taken after the event or experience
The physical action pertains to ‘the action you took within the moment the event occurred.’
The nature of the action pertains to the experience within yourself that was the ‘cause’ or ‘reason’ for the physical action you took within the moment of the event. Herein, you’ll assess the entire event with your experience within it, and what the others ‘represented’ in and during the moment of the event.
The physical action taken after the event or experience pertains to ‘what you did with yourself after the event occurred’.
So, within the physical action and the nature of the action, you’ll be able to identify within the memory itself what occurred ‘during the event.’
The physical action taken ‘after the event’ that is not ‘shown’ within the Jack-In-The-Box Memory itself, and you will thus have to assist and support yourself to see if you’re able to ‘remember’ what you did with yourself after the event occurred that the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed, as this will further assist and support you to identify the entire construct of the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as habit that you’ve become and still currently ‘live out’ in you and your world in and through and as the physical.
Identifying the ‘Behavioral Conditioning as‘ Habit.’
First you identify the Physical Action:
Within the example above, the Physical Action would be where you ran off crying.
Secondly, you identify the Nature of the Physical Action:
You experienced ‘emotional turmoil’ the moment you were shoved to the ground by the other and experienced physical pain as you hit the ground, wherein you ‘gave in to’ the feeling turmoil’ within yourself ; which was the ‘cause’ and ‘reason’ for the Physical Action wherein you ran off crying.
From here, you take the next step in observing your experience towards the others in assessing ‘what they represented,’ and in this representation, how it ‘influenced’ the experience of you during the event (that manifested the Physical Action). Within this step, common sense is required to be applied to assess your experience in that moment.
Because the other kid physically ‘shoved you off’ the swing, immediately they established their ‘authority’ over you, and you ‘gave your power away’ to the emotional turmoil that came up inside you. In this, the perception manifested that you were ‘powerless’ towards them, and within this perception, created the belief that they ‘abused you’ or ‘hurt you’ and thus you experienced yourself as the ‘victim.’ This ‘victimization’ within yourself is confirmed by you running off crying.
Within this perception further – you created a ‘fear’ within yourself. This fear actually pertaining to the event itself as ‘being hurt by others’ and does not ‘in essence’ pertain to the beings themselves – but the nature the beings represented to you in that moment as ‘authority’ and you experiencing yourself as ‘powerless’ in the being’s representation of themselves as ‘authority.’
So here – the Nature of the Physical Action consists of the following accepted and allowed beliefs pertaining to the event as revealed to you in the Jack-In-The-Box Memory:
Powerless in the face of ‘authority’ – as other beings representing authority within their words as ‘demands’ and actions as ‘taking their authoritative-stance’ by ‘pushing’ you off of the swing – the ‘powerlessness’ indicated through and as and by the ‘act of crying’ – ‘giving into powerlessness’ because the experience is that of: I can’t do anything about this situation.’
Abuse done unto you by another as ‘being hurt by another’ that represent the ‘authoritative-figure/stance’ – wherein you in the ‘powerlessness’ experienced yourself to be the ‘victim.’
Therefore, the ‘nature’ we’re looking at here is you experiencing yourself as the victim, powerless towards an authoritative -figure defined as someone ‘who demand something of you, and if you don’t give into this demand – they’ll hurt you or abuse you’.
Expressing this powerlessness and victimization by running away in tears: Which is the Physical Act that took place because of the Nature of the experience within yourself as powerlessness and victimization – that is the Nature that manifested the Physical Act.
Thirdly, the Physical Act taken after the event occurred:
Here you have a look at ‘what you did’ in living action as an attempt to ‘deal with’ the event that had occurred within yourself and the experience of yourself towards the others for example:
1. Crying with your friends. Going to your teacher in tears. Going to your parents in tears
2. Stop crying and suppress the experience
3. Going back and doing to the other exactly as was done unto you: The eye for an eye principle / Revenge
This is ‘important’ to identify – as this will ‘lead you’ to be able to see more specifically how you’re currently ‘handling’ or ‘dealing with’ events after they occur. Within each different ‘reaction’ towards the experience or event exists a manifested ‘protection-mechanism’ that is utilized and lived and will be used to ‘protect self’ from self and from others as self in circumstances where a similar event, situation or experience will take place.
The ‘protection-mechanism’ is also important to identify – as it forms the base foundation of the ‘behavioral - conditioning’ as habit.
1. Crying with your friends. Going to your teacher in tears. Going to your parents in tears.
Crying with your friends or going to the teacher or your parents in tears indicates you ‘looking for comfort’ through others because of the emotional turmoil experienced within yourself due to the event that had taken place. Wanting, needing ‘soothing’ from others to within the ‘soothing, comfort’ from others – help you ‘deal with’ the emotional/feeling turmoil.’
Though, in essence – what manifests here, is you suppressing the event and experience that had taken place within you, which presumably ‘go away’ and ‘seems all fine’ the moment you are soothed and receive the ‘comfort’ / ‘help’ from others you were ‘looking for.’ But what is supported in such an entire accepted and allowed act, is ‘emotions and feelings are normal and okay to be experienced’ as there is a ‘cure’ for it, which is receiving and getting ‘comfort’ and ‘soothing’ from others outside separate from you.
The emotional/feeling turmoil experienced within, being ‘balanced’ with the opposite polarity of being ‘soothed’ and ‘calmed’ through ‘comfort’ as physical experience without; merely suppresses the emotions/feelings within as well as the event that had taken place. One experiences suppression within and a replacement with an opposite experience without.
Therefore, receiving ‘soothing’ and ‘comforting’ from others, as well as the experience thereof, isn’t real.
The emotional/feeling turmoil and event are merely suppressed in the being, as the others that ‘soothe’ and ‘calm’ as outside representation of ‘comfort’ supports the entire experience of the suppression of emotional turmoil within. This is what the ‘soothing’ or ‘comforting’ received through/by others actually represent and manifest, the further suppression of emotions and the event in itself, wherein the child will be ‘okay’ or experience themselves to be ‘okay.’ All because they suppressed it.
The suppression manifests through and by ‘diverting attention.’ Because the moment they are ‘soothed’ and ‘comforted,’ they ‘give into’ an outside physical experience, they receive as a ‘hug’ or ‘being held’ or ‘stroked’ or ‘kissed’ until they ‘calm down.’ This ‘calming down’ is the child placing their focus/attention on the ‘physical-touched-experience.’ Only then ‘feeling safe’ and ‘comforted.’ Because the emotional turmoil is an ‘inner-conflicting’ experience that is not ‘definable’ for a child from the perspective of ‘how to direct themselves within it as themselves here.’ – And therefore, when they experience the physicality of ‘comfort’ and ‘soothing’ – they suppress the ‘inner conflicting turmoil of emotions/feelings’ as they focus on the physical experience of comfort/soothing as touch manifested as hug, a kiss, a stroke of the hair, being held – defined as ‘love’.
Realise that in this, the emotional/feeling turmoil as inner-conflict still exists within the child
They only suppress it because of the ‘physical-experience’ they receive from another through the manifestation of ‘physical-touch’ – diverting their attention to the experience of ‘touch’ defined as ‘comfort/soothing’ – when all it does is support the suppression of the inner-conflict of emotions/feelings that were experienced within. The emotional turmoil doesn’t ‘just go away,’ but made to be suppressed through the ‘physical-actions’ of others which the child experience as ‘comfort’ and ‘soothing’ as a stroke of the hair, a hug, being kissed, being held. Then the child will ‘make themselves be okay – because they suppressed the emotional/feeling turmoil by ‘giving into’ the physical outside experience as the polarity opposite of what was existent within themselves.
Herein is also an example of how you as a child created the perception of ‘love’ and ‘hate’ within situations where you experienced inner conflict of emotional/feeling turmoil.
Those that ‘love you’ are those you can ‘go to’ in search for/of ‘comfort’ and ‘soothing,’ and the physical acts defined as ‘love’ as being the actions of others you receive as ‘soothing’ and ‘comfort’ from others as ‘being held by other’ kissed by another,’ ‘hugged by another or being ‘stroked by another.’
Therefore, in essence – love being defined as ‘those that assist and support you to physically suppress inner conflict of emotional/feeling turmoil’ by ‘giving you’ ‘comfort’ through physical acts as the representation of being ‘soothed’ and ‘calmed’ as being hugged or held, to which you ‘divert your attention’ within the experience of physical touch, to not have to ‘look at’ or ‘be reminded’ of the emotional/feeling turmoil.
And ‘hate’ are those that ‘cause’ the upheaval of emotional/feeling turmoil as inner conflict within you that is existent as you. Such beings or events, situations, experiences are merely revealing to you ‘what exists within you of you as you.’ But you’d ‘hate’ or ‘dislike’ such beings because they show you ‘what you really are’ and ‘love those’ who suppress you as ‘what you really are’.
So it is the same with friends and enemies.
Friends with those that will help you and stand with you to suppress what you really are within you as what exist within and as you, and enemies with those that show you what you really are within you.
Friends representing ‘love’ as discussed above and enemies representing ‘hate’ as discussed above.
The ‘protection-mechanism’ manifested here is the child ‘going to others’ to suppress the emotional and feeling turmoil existent in themselves/of themselves/as themselves within for them, through the polarity opposite thereof as ‘comfort’ and ‘soothing’ as physical touch received from others.
Herein, protecting themselves from themselves through not ‘having to look at the experience within’ but suppress it, and ‘forget’ about the others – because they have those that ‘love’ them, thus protecting themselves from others.
2. Stop crying and suppress the experience
In this example, the child will suppress the experience through, as and within anger.
Using anger within themselves to ‘deal with’ or ‘handle’ the turmoil within and the physical hurt without by ‘keeping it all in,’ and within the anger, manifesting the suppression, creating an perception of ‘being okay’ or ‘being alright’.
Because the ‘anger’ is experienced and is perceived as ‘more stable and strong’ than the emotional, feeling turmoil within, which is seen as ‘weak.’
Therefore, balancing the entire experience through a polarity existent within the being’s themselves by suppressing the emotional/feeling turmoil as ‘weak’ with ‘anger’ that is experienced as ‘stronger’ and ‘stable’ – using the ‘stronger’ as ‘anger’ to ‘make him/herself’ ‘be okay with it all’ and suppress the ‘weak’ as the emotional/feeling turmoil.
Herein such children, within themselves – determining what it means to be ‘weak’ and what it means to be ‘strong’ – the polarity of weakness and strength.
Weakness being the acceptance and allowance of remaining within emotional/feeling turmoil manifested as crying due to an event/experience that had taken place with others and having others see this existence of you.
Strength as you suppressing the weakness within yourself as emotional/feeling turmoil through anger that is perceived as ‘strength,’ and you manifesting you as the suppression of the weakness through the anger that is stronger, presenting yourself to be ‘okay’ or ‘alright’ as though the entire event/experience didn’t affect you at all. And in this, believing you to be ‘strong,’ because you used anger perceived as strength to suppress the perceived ‘weak’ as emotional/feeling turmoil.
The ‘protection-mechanism’ manifested here is utilizing anger (perceived as ‘strong’) to suppress the emotional/feeling turmoil (perceived as ‘weak’) to ‘protect’ self by not experiencing the ‘weak’ as what self actually exists as, while protecting self from others through manifesting self as the perception of ‘strength, presenting to others the illusion of ‘not being affected by the experience or event or by those who participated in it.’
Using the polarity opposite as anger perceived as ‘strong’ over the experience of self as self as emotional turmoil as defined as ‘weak’.
3. Going back and doing to the other exactly as was done unto you. The eye for an eye principle. Revenge.
Here is the expression of ‘getting back’ that which has been perceived as being ‘taken from.’ ‘Getting back yourself’ by ‘getting back at those’ you’ve experienced having something taken from you. And the only way to ‘get it back’ is to do unto them what was done unto you.
Wherein the being is ‘angered’ by what has been done unto them in physical action and experience caused unto them as the emotional/feeling turmoil experienced within. And in this anger, desire to have those that caused them this inner and outer experience – to experience exactly the same: “You did it to me, so that gives me the right to do it to you,” attitude.
The ‘protection-mechanism’ utilized here is ‘acting out’ – using the emotional/feeling turmoil and physically expressing what is experienced within through doing the exact physical action as what was done unto them, herein protecting them from the perspective of ‘not giving in to the authority of others’ and protecting them from others from the perspective of revealing/showing that: If you hurt me, I’ll hurt you and even more so.’
Herein creating the perception of ‘what it means to stand up.’ That ‘standing up’ means: ‘Doing to another what was done unto you’ or ‘taking revenge’ or ‘retaliating in physical action’ towards them.
So – instead of ‘giving in’ within themselves as ‘giving in to’ the emotional/feeling turmoil – they manifest the polarity opposite in physical action by using the emotional/feeling turmoil within and ‘acting it out’ as perceived ‘standing up.’ Thus, ‘standing up’ is perceived as ‘acting out the physical action exactly as what was done unto them’ towards those that caused the experience within the being by using the emotional/feeling turmoil within, instead of ‘giving in to it’ within themselves.
In Section 3 of Part Eight we’ll look at how you ‘pull this memory through’ into and as your current experience of yourself in your reality and how to identify the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as habit and to practically stop the participation of yourself within and as it and take direct self-responsibility.
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God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 3)
Continuing in this section with how to ‘pull the Jack-In-The-Box Memory through’ into and as your current experience of yourself in your world and your world itself to be able to clearly see the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as habit.
After you’ve ‘broken down’ the Jack-In-The-Box Memory into and as all its ‘parts’ as discussed within the previous document, have a look at yourself here currently and all other that is ‘directly involved’ within your life experience at the moment as follows:
1. Here you start first with the ‘Nature of the Physical Action’ we investigated in the previous document, which was ‘Step Two’ we looked at in relation to the Jack-In-The-Box Memory.
2. Then, you look at ‘Step One’ which was the Physical Action you took during the event or experience in relation to the Jack-In-The-Box Memory.
3. After this is done, you look at ‘Step Three’ which is the Physical Action you took after the event or experience took place within the Jack-In-The-Box Memory.
Starting with ‘Step Two’ – have the Nature of the Physical Action investigated in relation to the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, and how it relates to your current experience of yourself within your world as it is at the moment.
What we determined in Step Two is the experience of yourself as the ‘powerless victim’ in the face of ‘authoritative-stance’ as another – and the expression of the ‘authoritative-stance’ towards you as ‘abuse.’
Now you observe in your world:
Who and What within your world currently represent an ‘authoritative-stance’ towards whom you experience yourself as ‘the powerless victim’ – within which you experience yourself as ‘taken for granted’ or ‘not considered’ as the manifested experience of ‘being abused/hurt’ because of the ‘authoritative-figures’ expression towards you’ – wherein you believe you ‘have no choice but to remain silent and ‘take the hit/punch’ of the experience/expression towards you.
This can be ‘pulled through’ to ‘individual human beings’ and also ‘situations’ within which you’re involved as you participate in your world and all that is involved in your world.
Please, take note – this is not about creating an ‘opposite-physical-reaction’ which you ‘act out’ towards another as ‘retaliation’ or ‘rebellion’ in an attempt to ‘fight back.’
This is about ‘changing you here’ within the experience WITHIN AND AS WHO YOU ARE HERE, because you’ll realise as we continue, that it has got nothing to do with the situation as an ‘outer-experience’ involved outside of you – but your self-directive principle with regards to who you are here in the moment of breath.
Let’s continue:
To be able to ‘more specifically’ see ‘who or what’ in your world represents the ‘authoritative-stance’ towards which you experience yourself as the ‘powerless victim being abused’ by what exists in your world, you look at Step One: The Physical Action which was the act of crying due to the Nature of the Physical Action (as discussed in the previous document):
In bringing this point to your current experience of yourself in your world at the moment, look towards who or what in your world, you very quickly, almost instantaneously, automatically react towards within yourself, in either a ‘flurry of emotions/feelings’ within which you start crying immediately, or as emotions immediately rising up within you, surging as a volcano erupting or slightly moving as a storm brewing; in essence, the reaction you experience in the face of ‘confrontation’ or ‘conflict,’ wherein your emotions suddenly, automatically ‘rise up’ within and as you, directed towards the situation or being.
What is the ‘primary nature’ the ‘Jack-In-The-Box Memory’ reveal? In the example used, the primary nature of the Memory is that of ‘conflict’ in ‘confrontation’ – and this is also ‘important’ to ‘identify’ when observing, breaking down the Jack-In-The-Box Memory.
After you have look at The Nature of the Physical Action (Step Two) and The Physical Action (Step One) in relation to you and your world with regards to looking at the questions proposed within the examples above – you ‘merge both Step Two and Step One’ together – to see ‘more specifically’ the direct correlation between the two in your current experience of yourself in your world:
Towards who or what within your world that in a moment of a conflicting/confrontational situation, do you experience yourself as ‘the powerless victim being abused’ by that which represents ‘authority,’ which causes you to almost immediately react towards within yourself in emotions/feelings that suddenly, ‘seemingly out of nowhere’ automatically ‘surge up’ inside yourself?
Understand – in how I’m moving with you through the steps with regards to how to ‘take the Jack-In-The-Box Memory’ with ‘asking yourself the questions’ – first do exactly this:
Placing together the questions by first starting with Step Two alone, then Step One alone, then merging the questions asked in Step One and Step Two together to get a ‘fuller perspective’.
From there, you look at Step Three alone – asking the questions related to Step Three as the Physical Action taken after the experience in relation to your world currently from what was revealed and investigated in the Memory.
Finally, place the merging question of Step Two and Step One together with the questions asked for yourself in Step Three - as one complete question – to specifically ‘work from there’ as your ‘starting point to see the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’ that you have manifested as yourself.
Now for asking yourself the questions pertaining to Step Three: The Physical Action taken after a ‘conflicting,’ ‘confrontational’ event within which you were directly involved by – through looking at the ‘protection-mechanism’ as ‘defense mechanism’ :
What do you do with yourself when the emotions suddenly start surging up inside you as a volcano erupting as a ‘more explosive surge of emotions/feelings rising up within you’ or as a ‘storm brewing’ as a more ‘subtle’ movement of emotions/feelings culminating within you?
Do you:
‘Throw a tantrum in anger, frustration or rage towards the other because you believed you ‘didn’t get your way’ – thereby ‘acting out’ the surge of emotions within you?
‘Turn around and run away from/walk away from the situation, being in a flurry of emotions before the experience concluded itself, meaning in the middle of the ‘conversation’ as ‘confrontation’ / ‘conflict’ turn around and walk away and cry by yourself alone in a secluded space? Or ‘get away from the environment entirely as in taking your bike/car and just riding/driving to ‘cool down’ or going to ‘someone else’ towards whom to express what you experience within yourself that was caused by the situation or other being(s) that was also involved?
‘Keep silent during the conversation/experience, ‘keeping the surge of emotions/feelings’ suppressed inside yourself as to not ‘show’ what you’re actually experiencing within – keeping quiet until the other is finished / event is over – turning around and walking away with your thoughts rambling in anger and resentment towards the other/situation, OR turning around, walking away, getting away from the environment entirely or going to someone else to express what you experienced what you experience within yourself that was caused by the situation/event or other being(s) that was also involved?
Take the physical action or exact stance of the one that you perceive is ‘abusing you’ and do exactly unto them as what is being done unto you – attempting to ‘win the battle’ to ‘justify yourself’ and what you experience within – as in ‘rebelling/retaliating?’
Keeping quiet during the event/experience ‘making as though you are agreeing’ with the situation/being that you’re facing as/within the confrontational/conflicting event – though within your mind silently plotting a means of revenge to ‘get back at them’ for what you perceived has ‘been done unto you’ – instead of you realising that the situation/event is merely reflecting you as what you’re accepting and allowing yourself to exist as?
Here are but a few examples.
You have to self honestly observe within yourself and identify the ‘protection-mechanism’ you ‘incorporate’ after such an confrontational/conflicting event with other human beings.
This ‘protection-mechanism’ as ‘physically lived action’ you take because of the starting point of the slight/explosive surge of emotions experienced within yourself.
Now the step before ‘The Final Step’ within which you will be clearly able to identify the ‘Behavioral Conditioning’ as manifested physical habit that you exist as: place all three steps together in and as one complete question:
Within a conflicting/confrontational situation: with who or what particular being or environment that represents an ‘authoritative-stance’ within which you experience yourself as the ‘powerless-victim’ ‘without choice or right’ believing yourself to be ‘disregarded’ and ‘inferiorized’ as the experience of being ‘abused,’ which causes an automatic, sudden, immediate surge of explosive/culminating emotions/feelings within you – which manifests the ‘protection-mechanism’ (for example) wherein you ‘act out’ in the emotions/feelings as ‘throwing a tantrum’ and yelling/screaming ‘attempting to get your way’ as a means to ‘defend yourself’ because you believe something of yourself is being ‘threatened?’
Now you take this one question – and look at the experiences of yourself in your world currently.
Dependent on how specific you ‘ask the questions’ and your self honest self-perspective and insight with regards to the Memory and the ‘breaking down’ and ‘investigation’ of yourself within your current experience of yourself in your world in relation to that Memory will depend on how specifically you will be able to ‘detect’ and ‘see’ the exact precise nature of the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as manifested physical habit that you exist as and express in physical action within you and your world currently.
Understand, the specificity within all this will assist with the specificity of your self-corrective action in self-corrective practical application to stop yourself from existing as such a ‘behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’ that you manifested, created, designed as yourself related to a Memory.
Therefore, I’d suggest be very specific – because your self-specificity within this will assist and support your specificity in the changing of yourself from existing as a ‘behavioral conditioned’ habit as system created as yourself from but a Memory – to existing here in self honest self expression.
The ‘behavioral conditioning’ as manifested habit that you exist as is:
When in a conflicting, confrontational situation – you immediately act in resistance to the event/situation/being – ‘no questions asked’ – due to all the ‘beliefs’ or ‘perceptions’ involved:
The other being ‘authoritative’
You the ‘inferior’ as the ‘powerless victim’ being ‘abused’
You not having choice, right, being disregarded, attacked - hence you wanting to ‘protect’ and ‘defend’ yourself.
Which all leads to you going into ‘resistance’ towards the experience or being, and in the face of ‘resistance’ going into ‘retaliation’ or ‘rebellion’ mode either physically subtly within yourself, or physically expressive – as a means to ‘defend’ and ‘protect’ yourself from the ‘resistance’ that is experienced.
So, the manifested ‘behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’ is ‘acting in automated resistance’ within a ‘confrontational,’ ‘conflicting’ situation or event.
Living the habit which is existing within automated resistance when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event, only because of manifested accepted and allowed beliefs of the other and of yourself existent within and as you.
The beliefs formed due to the Memory experienced as a child that you manifested as yourself. And because of such beliefs, acting in immediate automatic resistance to events/situations that are exactly the same/similar as the Memory as ‘conflicting/confrontational’ situations/events or beings that are exactly the same/similar as the beings involved in the Memory-experience as a child that represent ‘authority’ through their actions/words.
All this existing, playing out and manifesting within your world and yourself within such events/situations - remaining exactly the same, over and over and over again, ad nauseum; due to the manifested Memory existing as a ‘live-memory-moment’ within and as your physical human body, existing as the accepted and allowed beliefs/perceptions/ideas pertaining and existing within and as that Memory which you formed and developed within the Memory – as yourself here in the physical.
Nothing ever changing, because you’ve made yourself believe it to be ‘normal’ because it occurs the same way over and over and over again ad nauseum; making it ‘ordinary’ and ‘okay’ to exist as such an accepted and allowed experience within yourself and all that is involved due to you defining yourself and thus living the Memory, together with all the beliefs and perceptions you developed, formed and designed pertaining to the Memory that manifested the ‘habit’ in the first place.
To release yourself from the Memory itself, you start with applying self forgiveness for the Memory itself as the experience of yourself as a child.
To release yourself from the Memory itself, you start with applying self forgiveness for/of the Memory itself as the experience of yourself as a child – in the ‘breaking down’ of the Memory we discussed/looked at/investigated – you apply self forgiveness on each and every particular point that revealed with regards to the Memory in detail: Going through each part, taking the Memory here – and applying self forgiveness aloud/in written word, though preferably aloud so that you’re able to hear the sound of you voice – for it is in the sound of your voice as self expression here that you in the sound-expression of you here in self-honesty – release the hold of the Memory within you and your physical human body.
Once this is done and you are satisfied that you had effectively applied self forgiveness in self-honest self expression as you as you voiced the self forgiveness aloud to you, yourself in ensuring that you’re not ‘holding back’ on yourself with regards to self forgiveness, but applied it absolutely – you begin with self forgiveness in your world at the moment.
Realise – that you will not have ‘proof’ or ‘confirmation’ with regards to your self forgiveness pertaining to the Memory itself – but your self honesty here with you when assisting and supporting you within applying/expressing the self forgiveness in relation to the Memory and your effectiveness with it thus the application of self-trust through self honest self forgiveness.
‘Play with’ what has been discussed within this document thus far. Taking a ‘Jack-In-The-Box Memory’ and pulling it through to seeing and identifying the ‘behavioral condition’ as manifested ‘habit,’ specifically as I moved with you through this document thus far – as the specificity will pertain to the specificity of your self forgiveness and self corrective application.
In the next document, we’ll go through the specificity of self-forgiveness, of how to apply self forgiveness within the specific ‘break-downs’ of the Memory and how that Memory relates to your world currently, together with the suggested self corrective application to assist and support yourself with as well.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 4)
I’ll move with you through this example with regards to the self forgiveness to be applied in specificity, as we discussed within the previous document – wherein, after you’ve identified the ‘Behavioural-Conditioning’ as ‘Habit’ from the ‘Jack-In-The-Box’ Memory as well as all else that is involved – you ‘start again from the beginning’ with the Memory itself to apply self forgiveness within the specific ‘break-down investigation’ of the Memory itself.
This self forgiveness, suggested to be applied aloud when possible – if not, then in written word; the sound of your voice as the living expression in and as sound as you, will indicate your self-honest expression or self-dishonest acceptances and allowances. Within and through and as sound expression here in self honesty as you, release the Memory from within and as the Physical, or to see/identify within yourself where manifested controls of self-definition exists, wherein you still want to hold onto the Memory itself.
See:
When self forgiveness is applied in self honesty – wherein your starting point is you here absolutely releasing this point as memory within yourself, because of the realisation/understanding of what you’re accepting and allowing yourself to exist as: your voice within applying self forgiveness aloud will be clear, stable and you’ll experience the sound as you express through and as your entire human physical body as you – in full, complete certain expression here. The REAL application of self forgiveness, in this ‘realness,’ changing the REALity that you have accepted and allowed yourself to be and become.
Herein your self forgiveness is you one and equal here – you releasing you within and through and as you, as self forgiveness.
When self forgiveness is applied within the starting point of ‘still wanting to hold onto the Memory as what the Memory represents as the representation of the Memory being part of your Self-Definition which you ‘fear losing’ – you’ll find the words spoken aloud within self forgiveness as ‘empty’ within a sense of ‘meaninglessness,’ as words spoken within a ‘belief’ that it ‘must be spoken’ – ‘to do it only to do it.’ Herein, it is not real. You’re merely ‘speaking the words’ – not ‘being the words as you one and equal in releasing you from the definition of you through you as self forgiveness here.
To apply self forgiveness within which you are REAL HERE – is to be real within your self forgiveness expression – is to absolutely realise that in your self honest self expression as self forgiveness, you’re releasing you to assist and support you to be able to ‘stand anew’ and no more be determined or defined through but a Memory.
I’d suggest before starting with self forgiveness as an expression of you that is REAL HERE, that is ACTual so that in your ACTions – you stand one and equal with and as that which you have applied self forgiveness in the expression of yourself as WORDS – wording yourself here, so that through and as the words expressed, you LIVE the WORDS in LIVING ACTion as self expression here in the physical, through and through, one and equal in self honesty:
How to write for yourself ‘who am I in and as self forgiveness here.’
Because self forgiveness and who you are as self forgiveness will be your primary self support and self assistance foundation in and as which you stand in this process – and the only point within which you are able to, for yourself, prove your self honesty to you (and especially self trust).
Because there will be no ‘proof’ of yourself for ‘confirmation’ of ‘who you are.’ You only have you yourself here with you here. To assist and support yourself in trusting you here is to be absolute in and as self forgiveness and self honesty; to live the change that is you practically here in and as the physical, together with your self forgiveness expressed and applied as you here in and as the physical.
Herein is your one and equal stance as you: Your Words and Actions in and as the Physical as One and Equal Here. Self honestly applying / expressing self forgiveness in the actual real release of your self-defined existence to be able to stand in self honest self corrective action. Only in this self-disciplined expression can self trust exist and be the only point you have for yourself to stand in and as and walk through this process within what is to come.
Therefore, I’d suggest being absolute as self forgiveness and assist and support yourself to walk the physical, practical, self-correction within stopping how you’ve accepted and allowed yourself to exist as within your actions pertaining to but a memory; to change you in REAL ACTUALITY HERE – and not just in perception/idea as belief.
The only way to ensure that your self forgiveness is real and self honest is to live the change practically here of that which you’ve applied self forgiveness. Self forgiveness together with self corrective action one and equal here; this is self honesty and living self trust.
Therefore, suggested to write ‘who you are as self forgiveness’ within which you express you as self forgiveness; how you will be assisting and supporting yourself as self forgiveness: a living statement of you as self forgiveness, as which you will stand as you and live as you. Herein but a simple point within which to assist and support you to live self trust as you stand as your living statement as self forgiveness and walk as it no matter what.
At the same time, within this writing – you’ll be able to see for yourself where, how and why you’re still accepting and allowing yourself to separate you from self forgiveness as the lived and applied one and equal existence of you as you here in the physical.
Realise that this entire process, your experience within it and ‘who you are’ is all ‘up to you.’ You are in your own hands to take self responsibility for you and live and apply and express the discipline to assist and support you to actually absolutely change here in and as and through the physical.
If self forgiveness is only applied with no actual self-change here in and as practical application in the physical – it’s useless, and no different to having conversations in your mind with thoughts wherein you only communicate with yourself and through utilizing knowledge and information to formulate ideas/perceptions/beliefs of yourself.
Self forgiveness is not a ‘communication’ or ‘way of speech.’ It is to be lived and expressed as a statement of you as ‘who you are’ that you live and express practically here in and as the physical.
Therefore, we start with self forgiveness – in writing, ‘who you are’ as self forgiveness – by and as which you stand for and as you to assist and support you as self forgiveness to walk here in every moment of breath self honestly by living the statement of you as you as self forgiveness to so start your expression of living self trust.
You will also find in living self forgiveness as you in practical application, wherein your words and actions is one and equal here in self honesty: that your self forgiveness and self-change within practical application in and as the physical will be specific, will be absolute and will be real. You will push yourself to stand here in self honesty and not accept/allow anything less than who you really. Within this, no ‘self-judgment’ exists when you see/realise you’ve ‘made a mistake’ or ‘missed a point’ but will realise the gift in it: To simply specify your self expression in words and actions.
Therefore, we start with the self forgiveness process of the Memory itself, then the Self forgiveness of you here currently existing as the Memory related to your world, and once this is done, we move onto the self corrective action as practical self-changed living here in and as the physical.
Let’s begin:
Self Forgiveness related to and as the Memory itself:
Here we ‘go to the origin’ – which is the Memory itself that manifested the becoming of self as a ‘manifested behavioural-condition’ as habit; and starts standing up from within and as the ‘origin’ that is the manifested cause of the ‘habit’ through self honest absolute self forgiveness, which you can only determine for and as you here.
So, we start with the Physical Action:
Realise here – common sense insight also necessary, to ‘see into’ the experience directly to specifically assist and support you so, in the specificity of self forgiveness. This will ‘develop’ as you walk this process of self forgiveness as you – to not be ‘limited’ only by what is revealed/shown to you in a Memory, but to be able to see directly the entirety of what the Memory represents and all that is involved within it.
The self forgiveness applied with the Memory – is suggested to be applied in ‘real-time,’ meaning you standing as you as a child here as the experience, applying self forgiveness within and as the current existence of you here with the insight/understanding you have at the moment with regards to the experience the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed.
Because the Memory in itself is existing in and as a real-time manifestation as a ‘live-memory-moment’ that replays within and as your physical human body over and over and over again – still ‘occurring’ / ‘existing’ within you, as though you are really experiencing it – without you even knowing about it, because it’s suppressed, manifested in and as your physical within the construct of ‘forgetting’.
Within applying self forgiveness here in ‘real-time’ – you’re applying self forgiveness here one and equal as the Memory, with the Memory – to release you from within the Memory as the Memory as that ‘part of you/experience of you’ that is ‘held in it’ within and as which you exist as ‘part of’ the definition of you of mind in separation of you here.
Therefore, you’re applying self forgiveness one and equal here as you – and not in separation of you, because the Memory in itself is you, it exists as you and of you within self-definition. Therefore, you have to release the Memory as in releasing that definition/experience of you of mind - by standing one and equal with and as you here as self forgiveness. To stand one and equal here as who you are in self honesty, and no more exist in separation of you as self-definition of a Memory of Mind.
We determined within the example as Memory wherein you were pushed/shoved off of the swing by another as crying – then you start:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately cry when the other kids pushed me off of the swing, instead of standing up breathing and not accepting and allowing myself to take what was done unto me personally – but realising that they were doing it due to acceptances and allowances within themselves and had nothing to do with me personally.
Have a look in this self forgiveness example:
Applying self forgiveness specific according to the specific action that caused the crying and the crying itself.
‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately cry when the other kids pushed me off of the swing,...’
Within the self forgiveness exists the realisation / insight of self corrective application.
‘..., instead of standing up breathing and not accepting and allowing myself to take what was done unto me personally.’
Also within the self forgiveness, the self-realisation point with regards to the action done unto me by another as to ‘why not necessary to have taken what was done unto me personally’
‘...but realising that they were doing it due to acceptances and allowances within themselves and had nothing to do with me personally.’
Herein, you take self forgiveness to its ‘completeness’ – wherein you apply self forgiveness within the action experienced towards you, together with the realisation/insight of the self corrective action with regards to ‘what you would do at this moment in being in such a position/experience’ and also the realisation/insight of why you would not react as in crying or take it personally but stand here in self honesty.
This is applying self forgiveness and at the same time assisting and supporting you within insight/realisation and the preparation of yourself within and for and as practical self corrective action.
So, within applying self forgiveness – take the point, within your self forgiveness through to the realisation/insight of practical living application as solution as well as your insight/understanding with regards to the self corrective application realisation/insight.
The point within this self forgiveness example was:
Applying self forgiveness for the accepted and allowed reaction of being shoved/pushed off of the swing.
The realisation/insight of practical living application as solution was:
Breathing, not accepting and allowing yourself to take what was done unto you personally
The insight/understand with regards to the self corrective application in itself was:
That it has nothing to do with you personally – they were exerting their acceptances and allowances of themselves out unto you.
Up to here is an example of how you ‘pull through’ the specificity with regards to self forgiveness; to assist and support you in realisation/insight as the ‘corrective application’ in words as words together with the self forgiveness applied for and as the point experienced.
This is ‘important’ to assist and support yourself with regards to ‘pulling the self forgiveness through to its completeness’ as it’ll assist and support you in ‘preparing the way before you’ within self corrective application in the physical here.
If you find you’re not able to immediately see the insight/understanding of the practical self corrective application and the realisation of the starting point as you in and as the practical self corrective application with regards to the point you’re applying self forgiveness for – take the following steps:
Apply self forgiveness for and as only the point itself as the Physical Action that was determined within the ‘breaking down’ of the Memory:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cry when I was pushed/shoved off of the swing by/through the others.
Then you ask yourself the questions:
Within my current understanding in self honesty here, what will I do in such a moment:
I will not accept or allow myself to react or act in my emotions/feelings, but breathe through it, stand here and not accept or allow myself to take it personally, because I understand at this moment, that what was done unto me was not towards me personally, but they were exerting what was existent within them unto me as themselves.
Understand, we’re at the moment only looking at the self forgiveness with regards to a point – not yet the ‘practical living solution’ with regards to ‘how you’d assist and support the others as you’ to assist and support them to see/realise that what was done is unacceptable – not from a starting point of ‘spite’ or ‘blame’ but utilizing in such a moment common sense to direct you and them as the moment to see/realise what has been accepted and allowed = this point of ‘practical living solution’ we’ll come to.
Though – within ‘pulling through’ the self forgiveness to its completeness or through utilizing the step within asking yourself the question within which you write the self corrective application as living statement of you – you’re assisting and supporting you to see the self corrective application if you were to be in such a situation again. Which would be not to take it personally, not accept/allow yourself to react, but breathe here and realise that it wasn’t directed to/towards you personally.
Have a look at what was discussed thus far; the ‘who I am as self forgiveness in writing as you’ to live and stand as with you, by you. As you walk as a stable starting point, you establish for you as you here to walk from and as in every moment.
And also the ‘pulling through’ of self forgiveness to the realisation/insight of the practical self corrective application and the understanding of the self corrective application. And through utilizing the step-method in asking yourself the question of how you’d assist and support yourself in such an experience – to ‘write the self correction as you here.’ To prepare the way before you in and as actual physical self corrective application.
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God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 5)
Within the previous document, we discussed ‘pulling through’ self forgiveness from applying self forgiveness of the point itself together with the self corrective application as insight and understanding of what you would do in such a situation at the moment within your current expression of you here. We also discussed the realisation of the entire experience in regards to the beings involved from the perspective of it not being ‘personally done unto you’ – they were merely exerting themselves unto you.
What is suggested to do is the following:
Again looking at the self forgiveness applied in regards to the Physical Action identified of the Memory as Crying, when you were pushed or shoved off of the swing:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately cry when the other kids pushed me off of the swing, instead of standing up breathing and not accepting and allowing myself to take what was done unto me personally – but realising that they were doing it due to acceptances and allowances within themselves and had nothing to do with me personally.
Is to write down the practical corrective application and the starting point/realisation of the practical corrective application as a note (suggested to be done in a different colour so that it ‘stands out,’ as follows:
NOTE:
Practical Corrective Application in the Moment of the experience:
Breathe, stand up and not accepting or allowing myself to give into emotions/feelings as taking the event personally.
The realisation/insight of the Practical Corrective Application:
The others are not doing it to me personally. They are merely exerting what exists of and within themselves towards me that are actually themselves one and equal.
OR
If you do the self forgiveness point of utilizing the ‘step-method’ within asking yourself the question related to the self forgiveness point you are applying self forgiveness for, wherein you start with only applying self forgiveness for/of the point first, as follows:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cry when I was shoved off of the swing by the others.
Then ask yourself the question:
Within my current understanding in self honesty here, what will I do in such a moment?
I will not accept or allow myself to react or act in my emotions or feelings, but breathe through it, stand here and not accept or allow myself to take it personally. Because I understand at this moment, that what was done unto me was not towards me personally, but they were exerting what was existent within them unto me as themselves.
Then from here – you write the NOTE to you yourself beneath it:
NOTE:
Practical Corrective Application in the Moment of the experience:
Breathe, stand up and not accept or allow myself to give into emotions and feelings as taking the event personally.
The realisation/insight of the Practical Corrective Application:
The others are not doing it to me personally. They are merely exerting what exists of and within themselves towards me that are actually themselves one and equal.
What we’re doing here is ‘structuring’ the self forgiveness – ‘laying it out before yourself’ – to ‘prepare the way before you’ for the specificity within your practical self corrective application in moments when experiencing, for example, conflict or confrontation.
This ‘structuring’ is you placing your ‘understanding‘ and ‘insight’ of a particular point before you to eventually live this insight/understanding as you here in the physical practically.
This is why we’re going through this so specifically – as it’ll assist and support you within your process while you participate in this world. So much ‘simpler.’ ‘Simplifying’ your process of you in practical application in the physical through the specificity of your self forgiveness and ‘breaking down’ and ‘laying out’ a particular point before you as we’re moving through for example this Jack-In-The-Box Memory and how it pertains to your current accepted and allowed existence.
Therefore, your first step is self forgiveness. Then, ‘laying out’ self forgiveness within the insights, understandings, realisations and practical self corrective action of the self forgiveness applied, from which we’ll move to ‘how to assist and support you within the practical self corrective application’ in moments that manifest in you and your world similar or identical to that which the Memory revealed.
Then from there – how to assist and support yourself to direct the moment, you and the others as you one and equal here in self honesty as the practical lived solution that is you here as the expression of ‘who you are here’ in self honesty.
These NOTES made in a different colour – we’ll be utilizing as we continue. When we come to the ‘practical self corrective application/action’ layout after we have moved through the self forgiveness process pertaining to you and your world currently related to the Memory itself as the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit.’
Let’s continue:
Now, notice the first point of self forgiveness applied within the Physical Action point identified of the Memory which was only:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cry when I was shoved off of the swing by the others.
Surely this cannot be ‘it’ – and it isn’t. From here we’re going ‘deeper into the point of crying’ itself within the self forgiveness process of applying self forgiveness of The Nature of the Physical Action, which was Step 2 in the investigation ‘break down’ of the Memory we moved through. The Nature of the Physical Action was the manifested accepted and allowed expression of you as ‘cause’ of the Physical Action identified as ‘Crying’.
See, many stop at the point of applying self forgiveness pertaining only to one point, such as only applying self forgiveness for the accepted and allowed act of crying and stopping there – without actually realising or understanding the exact nature of the self forgiveness applied. Thus, self forgiveness is useless – because you’re not assisting and supporting you as self forgiveness to actually assist and support yourself to see and investigate what such a point is revealing of/about yourself actually within what you’ve accepted and allowed yourself to be and become.
Therefore, many will say: ‘But why must I forgive myself for crying? What’s ‘wrong’ with that?’
There’s nothing ‘wrong’ about it. As we continue, you will see what such a Memory for example, actually reveals about yourself within your accepted and allowed self-definition of you pertaining to the Memory.
There exists no ‘coincidence’ within the mind as the mind that you have designed and programmed as you, by you through and within past experiences within which you were not self-aware here. It is extremely, extensively absolutely specific. Therefore, you must be as specific with you as you here in all that you assist and support yourself, to see and realise how you’ve programmed and designed yourself in your life-experience.
Each point within yourself that ‘comes up’ as all thought-forms which we’ll discuss that is to come – is specific and pertains to the current accepted and allowed existence of yourself at this moment here in the physical.
Therefore, we’re moving through this in absolute specificity, starting with identifying the ‘Physical Action’ the Memory reveals as a definitive specific starting point with which to continue your self forgiveness process in absolute specificity – to eventually assist and support you within the self-directive self specificity of your self corrective application/action here in and as the physical. To not unnecessarily ‘miss points’ to have to experience a time-loop and start all over again.
But do this process properly, practically specifically from the start within which you stand in self honesty and self trust to pull yourself through this and stand here as you no matter what.
Yes, you will make mistakes, yes you will fall. But in applying and living this process properly, specifically and practically from the start in self honesty and self trust – you’ll find that when you make mistakes, when you fall – man, you will pick yourself up immediately and specify yourself; because you’re walking as self discipline from the start as you.
Push yourself to do this absolutely – in your specificity and self discipline of expressing and applying this self specificity within self discipline as you. So much will become simpler. It’s in the self specificity of and as self discipline – that simplification of much emerges as you here as you walk.
It doesn’t mean it makes anything ‘easier.’ Be careful not to define ‘simplicity’ as your process as ‘easier’ from the perspective of just ‘gliding like the wind’ through it all – no.
This is a ‘tough’ process from the perspective that you will have to push yourself through limitations and boundaries practically – such as laziness or procrastination which is but self-defined defence mechanisms within the starting point justification of: It’s just so much easier to exist as the ignorant blind fool.
Though, what you will find within living self specificity within self discipline – is that the ‘simplicity’ comes within the courage and resolve that is you in moments to practically push yourself through limitations and boundaries instead of ‘automatically immediately’ deciding to ‘give in’ or ‘give up,’ and then time loop the entire point and have to start all over again.
Therefore, you specifically start with the Physical Action identified of the Memory to have a definitive starting point in and as your self forgiveness process, from which to ‘move in-depth’ into and as the entire manifested nature of you of yourself, that such a ‘seemingly insignificant point’ within a Memory reveals that ‘popped-up’ within your Mind – which was ‘crying because of being pushed’ off of a swing.
Also have a look – we started the ‘break-down’ investigation of the Memory from first identifying the Physical Action that the memory revealed which was Crying – which was the identified starting point, from which all else within the Memory/of the Memory ‘opened up’ and ‘revealed.’ Therefore the ‘importance’ of having a clear starting point from which to move – both within yourself and within that which you do.
Therefore see: A Memory isn’t ‘just a memory’ and the ‘act of crying’ isn’t just the ‘act of crying’ that was revealed within the Memory. You take a point, start and begin with what is revealed within it, as in starting your ‘break-down investigation’ from what the Memory revealed and also start with your self forgiveness process of the point the Memory revealed – to pull it through to its completeness in seeing/understanding/realising what the Memory revealed about yourself and pulling it through within the self forgiveness process; to finally release yourself from the Memory to be able to have a clear starting point as you. From and as which to stand in and as self corrective application in the physical here.
Continuing:
Moving onto Step Two:
The Self Forgiveness process of the Nature of the Physical Action identified:
Here you look at all that you have written down in regards to the Nature of the Physical Action as Step Two within the ‘break down investigation’ of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory by going through each point in detail and applying self forgiveness one and equal to the detail of your ‘investigative writing’ while observing the Nature of the Physical action as ‘cause’ or ‘reason’ for the manifested expression of the Physical Act which was identified as ‘Crying when shoved/pushed’ off of the swing.
This was the ‘first paragraph’ we wrote down:
You experienced ‘emotional/feeling turmoil’ the moment you were shoved to the ground by and through the others and experienced physical pain as you hit the ground, wherein you ‘gave into’ the ‘emotional/feeling turmoil’ within yourself – which was the ‘cause’ and ‘reason’ for the Physical Action wherein you ran off crying.
To take it to a ‘more personal practical example’ – when identifying the ‘Nature of the Physical Act’ that a Memory reveal/show of itself, you ask yourself this question:
What did I experience within me, that caused me to start Crying after I was shoved off of the swing? Or: what did I experience within me that was the cause/reason for the Physical Act identified of the Memory?
You look and see that it was emotions and feelings that came up inside you that caused the act of crying. In seeing this – you write it down for yourself beneath the first question you asked yourself in writing:
I experienced emotional/feeling turmoil the moment I was pushed to the ground by the others and experienced physical pain as I hit the ground.
Then the next question:
What is the accepted and allowed act within me – that manifested the expressed act of crying?
You look and see: It was ‘giving into’ the emotions/feelings that I experienced in that moment within me, ‘giving in to’ was me accepting and allowing the emotions/feelings to ‘take over’ and because of this act of ‘giving in to’ emotions/feelings, I manifested the expression of and as Crying. And this also you write down for yourself beneath the question you have written down for yourself.
From here – you start applying self forgiveness for the ‘starting point investigation process’ in regards to the Nature of the Physical Action, taking both questions asked and the insights and understandings thereof, and applying self forgiveness.
First question asked and the insight/understanding thereof:
What did I experience within me, that caused me to start Crying after I was shoved off of the swing? Or: What did I experience within me that was the cause/reason for the Physical Act identified of the Memory?
I experienced emotional/feeling turmoil the moment I was pushed to the ground by/through the others and experienced physical pain as I hit the ground.
Second question asked and the insight/understanding thereof:
What is the accepted and allowed act within me – that manifested the expressed act of crying?
I was ‘giving in to’ the emotions/feelings that I experienced in that moment within me. The ‘giving’ in to was me accepting and allowing the emotions/feelings to ‘take over’ and because of this act of ‘giving into’ emotions/feelings, I manifested the expression as Crying.
And this also you write down for yourself beneath the question you have written down for yourself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the emotions and feelings existent within me; of me and as me in the moment when I was shoved off of the swing that manifested the expressed act of me as Crying.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the emotions/feelings within me, of me and as me to ‘take over’ the moment I was shoved off of the swing by the others which manifested the expressed act of me as Crying.
Within the self forgiveness process of the Nature of the Physical Action as Part Two of the ‘break-down investigation’ of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory – we’re only doing the self forgiveness process in itself You’ll see as we continue, how we incorporate the Practical Self Corrective Action insight/understanding/realisation within the self forgiveness process where we apply self forgiveness of you in your world pertaining to the Memory.
We’ll continue further within Part Eight Section (Six).
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God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section Six)
In this section, we’re continuing with the Self Forgiveness Process of the Part Two section ‘break down’ of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory itself.
As I have mentioned, I’ll be moving with you through the Self Forgiveness Process of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory from a ‘personal-perspective’, meaning that we’ll walk through the questions that are to be asked to self for self with regards to all that has been written during/within the investigation phase of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, together with the ‘insights/understandings’ pertaining to the questions and then the self forgiveness to be done.
I will also at the end of this discussion – place together the ‘Specific Format’ of the questions asked and self forgiveness done – though for the moment, I’ll be moving through it with you – to assist and support with perspective of how to assist and support you effectively within and during the self forgiveness process and self corrective action expression of/for a Jack-In-The-Box Memory. To assist and support you to actually change practically here in and as the physical, and no more exist through and as a Habit defined through/as a Memory in the Physical that is you.
So, we started with the Self Forgiveness point of the Physical Action point identified as ‘Crying’ together with identifying the Practical Corrective Action in the moment.
Here within this document we continue with the Self Forgiveness Process of Step Two: The Nature of the Physical Action.
The Self Forgiveness process of the Nature of the Physical Action identified (Continued):
Understand, that I’m taking you through these steps as ‘questions’ from a ‘personal practical perspective’ of what we’ve discussed in written word during the ‘investigation phase’ of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, to assist and support you, through the asking of questions, how to see the Nature of the Physical Action that the Jack-In-The-Box Memory reveal/show for yourself, by yourself. And at the same time as asking the questions in identifying/seeing the exact Nature – we walk in self forgiveness every step of the way.
This was the second and third paragraph we wrote, from which we’ll derive the next ‘set of questions’ to ‘get to’ the exact ‘identification’ of the Nature of the Physical Action:
From here, you take the next step in observing your experience towards the others in assessing ‘what they represented’ – and in this representation, how it ‘influenced’ the experience of you during the event, the manifested the Physical Action. Within this step, common sense is required to be applied to assess your experience in that moment:
Because the other kids physically ‘shoved you off’ the swing – immediately they established their ‘authority’ over and of you, and you ‘gave your power away’ to the emotional/feeling turmoil that came up inside you. In this, the perception manifested that you were ‘powerless’ towards them, and within this perception, created the belief that they ‘abused you’ or ‘hurt you’ and thus you experienced yourself as the ‘victim’ – confirming this ‘victimization-stance’ within yourself – by running off crying.
So, from the first two questions asked in the Self Forgiveness Process of Part Two, the Nature of the Physical Action, which was:
1. What did I experience within me, that caused me to start Crying after I was pushed / shoved off of the swing? Or: What did I experience within me that was the cause/reason for the Physical Act identified of the Memory?
2. What is the accepted and allowed act within me - that manifested the expressed act of Crying?
We move onto the next questions, which is taking the ‘next step’, as stated within the paragraph-inset above:
Observing your experience towards the others in assessing ‘what they represented’ – and in this representation, how it ‘influenced’ the experience of you during the event. Within this step, observation within common sense insight is required to be applied to assess your experience in that moment:
3. What did the others represent within their physical act of pushing/shoving me off of the swing?
Treating me as ‘less than them’, making themselves ‘more than me’ or ‘stronger than me’. Therefore, they represented: Authority.
4. How did I experience myself within the representation of them as ‘authority’, which they represented through their physical act of pushing/shoving me off of the swing?
I experienced me as being ‘belittled’, because I perceived them to be ‘more stronger than me’ because they had the ability to push/shove me off of the swing.
I experienced me as being ‘hurt’ and ‘harmed’ by them.
5. How did I confirm this experience of myself within, to myself?
Through the Act of Crying
6. What Polarity Construct was ‘playing out’ in this event?
Me, as the ‘powerless victim’ being abused/harmed’ by those who establish their ‘authority as power’ to/towards.
See, within this Jack-In-The-Box Memory existed a ‘Polarity play-out’ that manifested between you and the others, which is also important to identify within such Memories. Because it is within the identifying of the Polarity-playout, that you’re able to identify the primary Nature of the Physical Action of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory.
Once this is done, you take the entire step with the questions and responses and write down an ASSESSMENT.
This assessment consisting of your experience of you within yourself towards the others ‘because of what happened’ in this Memory in its entirety:
I experienced myself as ‘powerless’ within the presence of those that through acts/words establish their authority over/of me, that’s why I ran off crying, because I felt that I couldn’t do anything, because they were stronger than me.
I experience myself as the ‘victim’ when such beings cause me ‘physical pain/hurt’ as ‘abuse’ being done unto me, because there was no ‘reason’ for it and I couldn’t ‘defend’ myself.
Within this ASSESSMENT, you’ll allocate the Nature of the Physical Action as reason of/for the Physical Action that was Crying. The Nature of the Physical Action here is:
Experiencing yourself as ‘powerless’ and as a ‘victim’ – is what caused the Crying, which is the identified Nature of the Physical Action.
From Here, you apply self forgiveness from within the questions asked as well as the ASSESSMENT made:
Self Forgiveness from/of the Questions and responses:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience me as being ‘belittled’ by and through others that pushed/shoved me off of the swing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see them as more than me and see myself as less than them, which is why I experienced me as being ‘belittled’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as ‘less than them’, because they managed to push/shove me off of the swing that caused me to hurt myself physically and therefore why I experienced them as ‘more stronger than me’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I perceived them to be ‘stronger than me’ and ‘more than me’, that little ‘ol me couldn’t stand up, but rather ran away crying, confirming the ‘less than’ and ‘belittlement’ experience existent within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience me as the powerless victim in the presence of those I perceive as authority/power based on what they express towards me.
Self forgiveness from/of the ASSESSMENT:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as ‘powerless’ within the presence of those that through their acts/words establish their authority over/of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘run off crying’ – because I believed I couldn’t do anything/stand up within me – because of the accepted and allowed belief that they were stronger/more than me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as the ‘victim’ when the beings caused me to fall unto the ground in which I experienced physical pain, and because of the physical pain, experienced myself as the victim, ‘being abused by others’.
Within the next document we’ll continue with the Questions and Self Forgiveness of the Physical Act done after the experience the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed.
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God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 7)
We concluded the previous document with the Questions, Responses and Final ASSESSMENT of the Nature of the Physical Action, which are the steps of ‘how to get to’ identifying the Nature of the Physical Action; the steps done through asking questions and responding to them for yourself, and at the same time, walking through this process in self forgiveness.
Now for the next step, which is the last step, of identifying the Physical Action taken after the event the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed – through which we will move in asking the Questions and Responding to them to get to ‘identifying’ the Physical Action taken after the event in the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed and at the same time moving through this process in self forgiveness.
The Self Forgiveness process of the Physical Action taken after the Event occurred which the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed:
As I have mentioned within the discussion phase of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory of the Physical Action taken after the event occurred in God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 2), herein you have to utilize ‘remembrance’ in regards to identifying ‘what you did’ as an attempt to ‘deal with’ the experience of yourself that the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed.
Also, as I have mentioned, this is an imperative point to take into consideration, because in identifying the Physical Action you took after the event occurred within the Memory, it will ‘lead you’ to the manifested ‘protection-mechanism’ you have designed and created for yourself as yourself due to the Memory itself and will assist and support you within the further process – when we ‘pull the Memory through and what the Memory exists as’ – into and as your current experience of yourself in this world at the moment.
Let’s continue:
In identifying the Physical Action taken after the event in the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed – we start with the following Question to begin the process of identifying the ‘protection-mechanism:’
What did I do with myself after the event occurred?
(Here you look and identify what you did after you hit the ground and started crying: )
I ran off crying and went to my parents (or a ‘grown-up’) and cried with them, informing them of what had happened to me.
Why did I run off crying ?
(Here self-insight is required)
I ran off crying, because I didn’t know how to handle or deal with the situation, and believed that a ‘grown-up’ who is older than me, will know what to do and will know what to do with the children who did this to me so that they don’t do it again.
What did my parents (or the ‘grown-up’) do when I came to them crying, sharing with them what had happened to me?
(Here, suggested to be specific in your description)
They kneeled down, stroked my hair – had a concerned and caring look on their face and hugged me while I cried in their arms and said: It’s okay, it’s okay – and rocked me gently in their arms until I calmed down. Afterwards, they attended to my wounds and made me ‘feel better’ about what had happened and then I was fine.
What did I experience within me when I was with my parents (or ‘grown up’) according to their specific expression towards me?
(Here also, self-insight required. Suggested to ‘go into’ the experience for yourself, meaning – see how you experienced yourself with your parents, ‘go back to that moment here’ within and as yourself and experience for you here at this moment, how you experienced yourself then – this will assist and support in being specific within your description in this question/point.)
I experienced comfort while I was held in the arms of my parents.
I experienced ‘care’ as they caressed me gently.
I experience myself ‘being safe’ while being held in their arms, rocking me gently until I calmed down.
I experienced myself being ‘protected’ by my parents.
I experienced their ‘love’ for me as they held me in their arms, caressing me gently until I calmed down.
Now, after identifying what you did after the event occurred within the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, and your understanding then of ‘why’ and what you experienced within you with those you ‘went to’ – you write down an ASSESSMENT through and by placing all the responses to the questions in one ‘compiled perspective:’
I ran off to my parents because I didn’t know how to deal with or handle the situation at that moment and believed that they would know what to do with those that did this to me and help me with what I experienced within me, because I didn’t know how. When I got to my parents, they held me protectively in their arms, within which I experienced myself being ‘cared for’ and ‘loved’ as they caressed me gently with their soothing voice. I felt safe after going to them and cared for as they tended to my wounds and emotional/feeling turmoil through their parental concern. After all this – I immediately felt better.
From here, you continue within the next ‘set of questions’ which is the questions to be asked to observe the actual nature of the entire experience – not seen with the human physical eyes, but what the entire events represent of yourself ‘in essence’.
These questions you’ll ‘derive from the ASSESSMENT written down of the Physical Action taken after the event occurred in the Memory.
Herein, it is required to utilize self honesty to assist and support you in seeing the ‘nature of yourself’ that the entire experience after the event occurred revealed about yourself:
Let’s begin:
What does running off to my parents believing that they will know how to handle/deal with the situation/event, reveal about myself?
That I believe that I’m not able to deal with or handle such situation for myself, by myself – but would rather ‘run to others’ for ‘help’ than assisting and supporting myself in such events/situations.
What does ‘feeling better’ only after I received comfort, soothing and care from my parents – reveal about myself?
That I need comfort, care and soothing from others to be able to deal with or handle the emotional/feeling turmoil experienced within me, after a conflicting/confrontational event.
What does the act of me running off to my parents, receiving comfort, soothing and care from them, reveal about the nature of me?
That I need comfort, care and soothing from others to only then ‘feel better’ within myself - because only then, the ‘emotional/feeling’ turmoil within myself ‘goes away’, and therefore, I will go to those who can give me comfort, care and soothing through physical acts of ‘holding me in their arms’ – because I know that only then, the emotional/feeling trauma ‘goes away’.
What is actually really happening within me – when the emotional/feeling turmoil ‘goes away’ only after receiving comfort, care and soothing through physically being held with concerned soft words from my parents? Was I really ‘dealing’ with the event that had occurred?
Self honestly: The emotional/feeling turmoil is ‘suppressed’, because I’m replacing it with the experience I receive through physical acts as being held in my parent’s arms, through which I experience comfort/care/soothing, which ‘replace’ the ‘inner turmoil of emotions/feelings within. An outside physical experience, replacing the inside turmoil experienced within.
Therefore, my attention is being ‘diverted’ from what I experience within, to what I’m now without.
Now, you take these set of questions and write down an ASSESSMENT, through taking the responses of the questions and writing an ‘complete-perspective’ of the nature of yourself that the experience as the Physical Act taken after the event occurred – reveal:
I have a belief of myself that I wasn’t capable or able to handle or deal with such a situation in my world and experience within myself and thus felt compelled to ‘run to those who I believed could help me which were my parents.
When experiencing emotional/feeling turmoil, because I believe I have no control over/of it, that the only ‘cure’ for it, is to receive physical expressed comfort, soothing and care from others as ‘love,’ within which I actually suppress what is experienced within me, with the physical experience I receive from others as being held physically / being caressed and being spoken to with a soft, concerning voice.
I realize that I wasn’t actually dealing with the experience within myself and my world that had taken place, but suppressed the experience within, through receiving a physical expressed experience without from others.
I realize that, I seek and search for ‘help’ from others as an attempt to deal with an experience within myself and my world, but what actually happens is me suppressing what is experienced within myself through the receiving of help from others – instead of me standing up in and as me here and directing me one ands equal to and as the moment.
Therefore, I will go to others to suppress the experience both within and without – and this is how I ‘deal with’ situations/experiences I believe I can’t handle or deal with directly one and equal here in self honesty.
I realize, that the experience of me receiving comfort, care and soothing from others is actually only diverting my attention from what is experienced within me, therefore it is suppressed within and replaced with a polarity opposite physical experience without.
From here, as you can see – you will be able to ‘identify’ the Protection-Mechanism you exist as and ‘live out, which is:
In conflicting/confrontational events, I ‘run off’ to the protection and safety from others, within which I am comforted and soothed, protecting me from myself to not experience the emotional/feeling turmoil within, because it is replaced with my perception of ‘love’ as receiving physical expressions I experience as ‘comfort’ and ‘care to suppress what exist within me, and at the same time ‘hide’ within other’s ‘protection’ and ‘safety’ to not have to face those that ‘caused’ the experience within me and my world.
From here – you assist and support yourself within the self forgiveness process for the Physical Action taken after the event occurred which the Jack-In-The-Box Memory revealed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘run off’ to my ‘parents’ to ‘help me’ with what I experienced within me and my world, because I believed that I wasn’t capable or able to ‘handle’ or ‘deal with’ or ‘direct’ the situation as me here as the moment one and equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have no control over and of the experiences within me and my world and that the only ‘cure’ therefore, is ‘running off to others’ for help, suppressing such experiences and replacing it with the comfort/care/soothing as physical expressed concern from other
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘look for’ and ‘search’ for comfort, soothing and care from others – because I believe that this is the only way to ‘deal with’ or ‘handle’ the experience within myself and my world.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I wasn’t actually really ‘dealing with’ or ‘handling’ the experience of me within myself and my world – but merely suppressing it all, through replacing the emotional/feeling turmoil within, through an outside separate physical experience received from others as being held, which I experience as being comforted/cared for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘dealing with’ or ‘handling’ situations/experiences as ‘going to others for help to suppress such experiences within me and my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest a polarity – system within me and my world by/through suppressing what I experience within me as emotional/feeling turmoil through replacing it, in diverting my attention to physical-expressions I receive from others as comfort/care and soothing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘love’ as receiving physical-expressed actions from others as ‘comfort’/’care’ and ‘soothing’ such as being held or hugged or caressed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest a ‘protection-mechanism’ as me as ‘running to others for help and comfort’ to protect me from myself through suppression and hiding.
It is suggested to go into the self forgiveness process pertaining to the Memory as specific as possible as you go through the questions and responses to the assessments and then finally to self forgiveness.
The self forgiveness I’m assisting and supporting you here with, is but an example – and one can go into it much, much deeper, though this is your self honest process for and as you here. You’re in your own hands and thus self-responsible for you and your self-specificity within and as and during this process. As all that you do will eventually, inevitably, determine you and the experience of yourself within you and your world.
Within the next Section – Section Eight, we’ll continue with the self forgiveness process of ‘pulling the Memory through’ to you and your world currently, within which we move through the questions, responses, self forgiveness and self corrective application preparation – to identify the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’ and finally to the point of how to practically assist and support youself to self-correct you here in every moment of breath - to stop existing as a Memory from which a Habit was designed as what you’ve defined yourself as.
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God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 8 )
Alright, we’ve moved through the Questions, Responses, Assessments and Self Forgiveness of the Memory itself. You will find in walking through the Memory within/through this Method of asking yourself the questions, responding to them and walking through the Memory with self forgiveness – assisting and supporting you in ‘understanding’ the process of practical application together with self forgiveness being lived and applied equal and one as you.
Though, at the moment, we’re only within the Self Forgiveness Process, yet preparing the way before ourselves to the inevitable of living the self corrective action of and as that which we’ve applied Self Forgiveness for, in actuality here in and as the Physical.
What we’re doing here with regards to the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, and what we’ll be doing with each ‘thought-form’ existent within and as the Mind that you exist as, is taking the existence of ourselves in and as the Mind, which is the manifested reflection of ourselves we’ve existed within, pulling it through to the ‘origin’ of ourselves as the actual origin that the ‘thought-forms’ in the Mind reflection of the accepted and allowed manifested existence of ourselves, from within the origin; by standing up physically, practically here in and as the physical itself, and so ‘change’ ourselves physically, practically here as we stand up and change ourselves from within the origin of ourselves through practical self-corrective action.
Herein – no more existing as what we’ve always existed as for eons of time. At the same time, no more existing within and as and of the Mind as the manifested reflection within which we’ve existing in hiding – but to step forth, stand up and face the manifested existence of ourselves, for it is only in the full, entire, complete, absolute revelation of self as what is here – that self can change for certain in definitiveness of self honesty here, and remain so always.
Let’s continue walking…
We’re moving unto the next phase, which is the Questions, Responses, Assessments and Self Forgiveness Process of ‘pulling the Memory through’ into and as your current reality of your current experience of yourself in your reality: The ‘who you are’ at this current moment, which exists according to and as the Jack-In-The-Box Memory itself.
Within God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 3), we have already looked at the particular specific questions to be asked in bringing the Jack-In-The-Box Memory through to your current experience of you at this moment.
Therefore, we will be looking at the questions again. Though this time, of course, with examples together with the Self Forgiveness Process examples – to finally get to the origin that is the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as habit and how to practically assist and support you, to in actuality definitively change.
We discussed, within God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 3), to begin with Step Two as the Nature of the Physical Action of the ‘break-down’ investigation of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory and from there, incorporate Step One as the Physical Action identified of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory to ‘more specifically’
Before we begin with this Self Forgiveness Process of ‘pulling the Memory through into and as your current Reality and existence of you at this moment,’ we’ll first identify the Nature of the entire Memory in itself that is revealed, which is: Confrontation/Conflict.
From here – you begin with the questions:
Self Forgiveness Process of Step Two, Step One and Step Three of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, being brought through to ‘Current-Time’:
Note:
I will only being going through the questions with you here to assist and support in the Self Forgiveness process. The specificity and the method of the questions to be asked, has been discussed within the God of Man: The Physical Part Eight (Section 3) document, which I suggest you refer to assisting and supporting yourself with the specificity and method of asking yourself the questions related to ‘bringing the Memory through to your current reality and existence of you.’
We ‘walked through the process of asking the Questions for Step Two alone, then Step One alone, then merging Step Two and Step One’s questions. From there, moving onto asking the Questions for Step Three alone and finally ‘merging’ all Three’s Questions together as One Final Question to be able to specifically determine how the Memory is still dominating your reality, both within and without. I’ll be walking through them with you again, from within a ‘personal-practical perspective’ together with an example:
Here goes:
Question One of Step Two: The Nature of the Physical Action:
What we determined in Step Two is the experience of yourself as the ‘powerless victim’ in the face of ‘authoritative-stance’ as another – and the expression of the ‘authoritative-stance’ towards you as ‘abuse.’
Now you observe you in and as your world currently, and ask yourself the question:
Who and What within my world currently represents an ‘authoritative-stance’ towards whom I experience myself as ‘less than,’‘not considered,’ ‘taken for granted’ and their physical expressions of words or mannerism/behavior causing the emotional/feeling turmoil within me, manifesting the belief of me being ‘hurt’ by them, which manifests the experience of me as being the ‘powerless victim?
Question Two of Step One: The Physical Action:
From here, as we discussed, to ‘more specifically’ be able to identify this particular point, we observe Step One as the Physical Action identified of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory as Crying. Bringing this point into your world currently in observing when, where or towards who you experience an almost immediate automatic reaction as surge of emotions and feelings tumbling inside you and ask yourself the Question:
Towards whom/what in my world, do I very quickly, almost instantaneously/automatically – react towards within myself, in either a ‘flurry of emotions/feelings’ within which I start crying immediately with emotions, feeling suddenly, immediately, automatically rising up within me?
From here, as we discussed, we merge Question One and Question Two together to have a ‘more specific perspective:
Mergence of Questions One and Two:
Towards whom/what within my world that in a moment of an conflicting/confrontational situation, do I experience myself as ‘the powerless victim being abused’ by that which represents ‘authority’ which causes me to almost immediately, instantaneously, automatically react towards within myself in emotions feelings that suddenly, ‘seemingly out of nowhere’ automatically ‘surge up’ inside myself?
Now for asking yourself the question pertaining to Step Three: The Physical Action taken after a ‘conflicting,’ ‘confrontational’ experience within which you were directly involved – through looking at the ‘protection-mechanism’ as ‘defence mechanism.’
The protection mechanism as defence mechanism will reveal as ‘how you deal with/handle’ sudden surges of emotional/feeling turmoil within you when faced within a conflicting/confrontational situation:
Question Three of Step Three: The Physical Action taken After the Event occurred:
How do I deal with or handle sudden surges of emotional/feeling turmoil within me, when I’m faced with confrontation/conflict with another?
You look within yourself as the question and respond:
(Here I am utilizing but one example: )
I retaliate – ‘mimicking’ through ‘becoming’ exactly as the other as what they are doing unto me. I also raise my voice and ‘stand my ground’ in my physical human body within my behavior and mannerism towards them, therefore, doing exactly to them what they’re doing to me.
Last but not least, the step before ‘The Final Step’ within which you will be clearly able to identify the ‘Behavioral Conditioning’ as manifested physical habit that you exist as to place all three steps together in and as one complete question:
Within a conflicting / confrontational situation/event:
With whom/what particular being/environment that represents an ‘authoritative-stance’ within which I experience yourself as the ‘powerless-victim’ ‘without choice or right’ believing myself to be ‘disregarded,’ ‘inferiorized’ as the experience of being ‘hurt’ which causes an automatic, sudden, immediate surge of explosive/culminating emotions/feelings within me – which manifests, for example, the ‘protection-mechanism’ wherein I ‘act out’ as ‘retaliation’ in the emotions/feelings as ‘throwing a tantrum’ and yelling/screaming – doing/expressing exactly that which is being done unto me?
Note:
Understand ‘abuse’ – ‘abuse’ as being ‘hurt, ‘harmed’ by another for example wherein you believe that the other is causing the emotional/feeling turmoil within you. -A manifested belief due to the accepted and allowed existence of you as the definition of you as being ‘a powerless victim,’ and in this belief, creating the other to be the polarity opposite as ‘authoritative power’ of what you’re accepting and allowing yourself to exist as. We will be discussing and ‘going into’ this particular point in ‘more-indepth’ as we continue – but first, we’ll identify the ‘manifested behavioral conditioning’ as habit, from where we’ll originate the CORE ORIGIN of such a ‘manifested behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’ and how this core origin of you as what you exist as in and as and through the physical itself, is actually manifesting/creating the experience of you in such situations/events. All because of ideas/perceptions/beliefs of/about you which in turn create ideas/perceptions/beliefs of others as you.
Therefore, in ‘actuality’ – you’re not being ‘abused,’ ‘hurt,’ ‘harmed’ by/through another. Such events and your experience within it and your belief of it, is due to the belief existent of yourself as ‘who you are.’ We’ll be going into this entire manifested construct as we continue in this document of God of Man: The Physical, for the moment – we’re only focusing on identifying the ‘self-manifested behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit.’
It is suggested within the process of ‘bringing the Memory through into your current existence and experience of yourself in your reality at the moment,’ to go through the Question-Process first as suggested as I moved with you through it – to ‘get to’ the Final Specific Question, to assist and support you to specifically see where, how, when and where such situations/events play-out or manifest in your current world and experience of yourself.
So, from the One Final Question Asked, you respond to yourself in self honesty here, descriptively and as specific as possible:
I immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my Mother.
Especially in moments when I experience that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me.
No matter how much I attempt and try to express ‘my side of the story,’ she keeps on and continues ‘attacking me’ as though ‘it’s all my fault’ as though ‘I am the problem, the fault’ within it all, giving me no opportunity to explain myself.
During this, she manifests her ‘authority’ over and of me, by her claiming she’s ‘right’ and ‘I’m wrong,’ which makes me feel like I’m stupid, nothing . That I’m always wrong and she’s always right, no matter what.
She continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me, slamming the table – the more I express my view – which causes me to go into emotional/feeling turmoil within myself.
And in the end – it always turns into a‘fight’ wherein I yell and scream back as my emotions/feelings surge and eventually walk out feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I believed that she wasn’t willing to listen to me at all. All she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way.’
All our conversations end up going this route, starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off, blaming her for why I’m experiencing myself this way, that it’s her fault, she’s the problem in my life and that I’m the victim in it all.
And when this happens, I know she’s won, because she got me to tears again.
From here, you begin assisting and supporting you within Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my mother as ‘authority’ as ‘power.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my mother as the ‘authoritative power’ in and as my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as the ‘powerless victim’ when facing my mother in a conflicting/confrontational situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a ‘powerless victim’ towards the definition I have formed of my mother as being the ‘authoritative power.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘go into’ immediate, instantaneous and automatic emotional/feeling turmoil the moment I experience my mother acting out her ‘authoritative power,’ which makes me experience myself as the ‘powerless victim,’ because of my experienced reactions of surging emotions/feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is my mother’s fault and that she’s to blame and the problem which cause the emotional/feeling turmoil that surge up within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that the emotional/feeling surging coming up suddenly, automatically – only exists because of the perception of me as being the ‘powerless victim’ and the perception I have formed of her as an ‘authoritative-figure’ as the polarity opposite of what I experience within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘standing up’ and ‘not accepting being treated the way I am with my mother’ – is me retaliating and rebelling as an attempt to fight against what she’s expressing towards me by doing exactly to her what she’s doing to me, through mimicking/copying her expression towards me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise – that if I attempt to fight against something, I create resistance and in that resistance, I will ‘lose,’ because I am making the statement that ‘I need to fight against that which I believe is more than me.’ And thus will manifest as ‘that which is I believe is more than me’ ‘having power over me’ – against which I will lose.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘play the game’ of ‘win/lose’ in the manifested participation of me in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event, which in essence is a game of ‘win/lose’ as a game of ‘inferiority’ / ‘superiority.’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that in accepting the belief that my mother isn’t listening to me, or hearing me or understanding me, that I will manifest this in my world and thus she can’t listen, can’t hear or can’t understand
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to consider that this experience within me of her not listening to me, or hearing me or understanding me – is showing me, that I’m not hearing, listening or understanding myself or her as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility for what I experience within me – unto my mother, through blaming her, making her the cause, the problem for what exist and is experienced within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see the gift of such moments – as ‘who I am’ in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event with my mother – has got nothing to do with my mother, such situations/events is merely showing/revealing/reflecting me back to myself in showing/revealing to me – what I am accepting and allowing inside myself – which at the moment, is revealing that I blame, judge and justify my emotions/feelings existent within me, through pointing fingers at something or someone else, to not have to face me within myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that such conflicting/confrontational situations/events is revealing/showing my true nature as what I accept and allow myself to exist as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am being ‘attacked’ by my mother when she raises her voice and change her mannerism/behavior into and as an authoritative stance and starts yelling/screaming at me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I can only experience her expression towards me as an ‘attack,’ because of my accepted and allowed definition of me as being a ‘powerless victim’ being ‘under attack’ – according to my accepted and allowed polarity-opposite definition of her as being the ‘authority-power’ over and of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I can only experience her expression towards me as an ‘attack’ or ‘being attacked’ – if I exist within and as the manifested expression of me as ‘defence’ – defending myself against attack
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I can only exist in the manifested expression of/as defence if I believe that there is something of me that is being ‘threatened.’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that the only manifestation within me, of me, that can experience being ‘threatened’ in a confrontational/conflicting situation/event is a personality-design of mind consisting of and existing as a self-definition, that a definition of me is being ‘attacked’ and ‘threatened’ which I believe I must defend.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that it’s seemingly so easy to blame, point fingers as the cause of my experience being that of another outside of me – instead of self honestly noting my participation within it all within my accepted and allowed starting-point existence, and that such confrontational/conflicting situations with my mother – is all reflecting me back to myself exactly, precisely.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that in me mimicking the expression of my mother towards me, through me doing/expressing/becoming exactly towards/as her as she is towards/as me – is me showing me = that I am exactly as my mother – no different.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I’m actually attempting to/trying to ‘fight myself’ – therefore, I will experience ‘loss’ – because it’s impossible to ‘fight myself’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as inferior/less than my mother, because I end up in tears/emotional/feeling turmoil while she remains seemingly stable, and this angers and frustrates me even further.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that the anger, frustration and irritation I project towards her, is actually what I’m experiencing within myself towards me.
From The One Final Question asked – you will be able to determine, as has been discussed, the manifested ‘behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’, which I suggest you write down as follows:
ASSESSMENT:
My identified ‘manifested behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’:
I go into immediate ‘reactive-resistance-mode’ when in a conflicting-confrontational situation with another, and believe I must ‘defend myself’ because of the accepted and allowed perception/belief of being ‘attacked’ as something of me being ‘threatened.’
This ASSESSMENT I’d suggest also writing within a different colour, as we’ll be ‘returning’ to this ASSESSMENT as we continue within the Process of the manifested influence of the Memory within your current reality and experience of yourself.
The same as the NOTE we made in the beginning of the Self Forgiveness Process where we started applying self forgiveness for/of the Physical Action as Crying identified of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, wherein the NOTE consisted of the Practical Corrective Application in the Moment of the experience.
Within the next document, we’ll continue with the Self Forgiveness Process and finally to the Self Corrective Action Process.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 9)
Within God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 4), we discussed, ‘pulling the Self Forgiveness through to its completeness.’
As you have seen within the previous document (God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 8 )) with which we concluded the Self Forgiveness Process of ‘Pulling the Memory through into and as your Current Reality at this moment’ and identifying the Behavioral Conditioning as Habit. That the Self Forgiveness also consisted of and existed within insights, understandings, and realisations together with the Self Forgiveness of the particular point.
Here, I’ll walk with you through the questions and responses to be asked to assist and support self with insight, understanding and realisation of the particular point for/of which you’re applying Self Forgiveness. Exactly as I walked with you through it in one example in God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 4) – which will, as you walk through it with yourself step by step in asking the questions and responding to them for yourself – you’ll eventually be able to see the insight, understanding and realization in the moment when applying self forgiveness within self honest common sense. You will be able to apply Self Forgiveness together with the insights/understanding/realizations as I expressed in the example of Self Forgiveness in the previous document: God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 8 ).
Here, we’ll again look at the One Final Question compiled from the Question-Process we walked through within the Process of ‘bringing the Memory through into your Current-Reality’ and the Response example we looked at.
From which we’ll do Self Forgiveness only related to what has been written within the Response to the One Final Compiled Question. From where we’ll walk through the Questions and Responses to assist and support self with the insight/understanding/realisation of that which has been applied Self Forgiveness.
This is done to assist and support self within the process of ‘pulling the self forgiveness through’ to its completeness, which will ‘lead to’ preparing the way before self within practical self corrective action here in the physical; of that which has been applied self forgiveness for – to live and express self forgiveness and self corrective action one and equal here.
Let’s begin:
Question:
Within a conflicting / confrontational situation/event:
With who/what particular being/environment that represents an ‘authoritative-stance’ within which I experience myself as the ‘powerless-victim’ ‘without choice or right’ believing myself to be ‘disregarded’ / ‘inferiorized’ as the experience of being ‘hurt’ which causes an automatic, sudden, immediate surge of explosive/culminating emotions/feelings within me – which manifests, for example, the ‘protection-mechanism’ wherein I ‘act out’ as ‘retaliation’ in the emotions/feelings as ‘throwing a tantrum’ and yelling/screaming – doing/expressing exactly that which is being done unto me?
Response:
I immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my Mother. Especially in moments when I experience that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me. No matter how much I attempt/try to express ‘my side of the story,’ she keeps on and continues ‘attacking me’ as though ‘it’s all my fault’ as though ‘I am the problem, the fault’ within it all, giving me no opportunity to explain myself. During this, she manifests her ‘authority’ over and of me, by her claiming she’s ‘right’ and ‘I’m wrong,’which makes me feel like I’m stupid, nothing. That I’m always wrong and she’s always right, no matter what. She continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me/slamming the table – the more I express my view – which causes me to go into emotional/feeling turmoil within myself. And at the end – it always turns into a‘fight’ wherein I yell and scream back as my emotions/feelings surge and eventually walk out feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I believed that she wasn’t willing to listen to me at all. All she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way. All our conversations end up going this route – starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, with me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off, blaming her for why I’m experiencing myself this way, that it’s her fault. She’s the problem in my life and that I’m the victim in it all. When this happens, I know she’s won, because she got me to tears again.
Self Forgiveness only related to the Response itself (Step by Step):
I immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my Mother.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my mother.
Especially in moments when I experience that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to especially react in a surge of emotions/feelings when I experience within myself that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me.
No matter how much I attempt/try to express ‘my side of the story’, she keeps on and continues ‘attacking me’ as though ‘it’s all my fault’ as though ‘I am the problem, the fault’ within it all, giving me no opportunity to explain myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event with my Mother, because I experience within me, that no matter how much I attempt/try to express ‘my side of the story’, she keeps on and continues ‘attacking’ me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotional/feeling turmoil within myself towards my mother when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event, because I experience within me as though she’s making it ‘all my fault,’ that ‘I’m the problem,’ the fault within it all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotional/feeling turmoil towards my mother when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event in which I experience her expression towards me as ‘attacking me.’ Because the experience within me, is as though she’s not giving me an opportunity to explain myself.
During this, she manifests her ‘authority’ over and of me, by her claiming she’s ‘right’ and ‘I’m wrong;’ which makes me feel like I’m stupid, nothing. That I’m always wrong and she’s always right, no matter what.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother as ‘authority’ over and of me when I experience her going into ‘attack’ towards me in a conflicting/confrontational event/situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘stupid’ and ‘like nothing’ when I experience within me her establishing her ‘authority’ by her claiming she’s ‘right’ and I’m ‘wrong.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself towards my mother in a conflicting/confrontational manner as me as, ‘always wrong’ and her ‘as always right.’
She continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me/slamming the table – the more I express my view – which cause me to go into emotional/feeling turmoil within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within emotional/feeling turmoil when I experience within myself that the more I attempt/try to express my view – my mother starts yelling more, raising her voice more, starts changing in her mannerism/behavior through pointing her finger at me/slamming the table, which only cause me to react within myself even further.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react even further within myself within emotions/feelings when my mother starts yelling, raising her voice, pointing her finger at me or slamming the table, the more I am attempting/trying to express my view – which at that point seems futile.
And at the end – it always turns into an ‘fight’ wherein I yell and scream back as my emotions/feelings surge and eventually walk out feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I believed that she wasn’t willing to listen to me at all – all she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yell and scream back when the confrontation/conflict situation/event between my mother and I eventually turns into a fight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when the conflict/confrontation between my mother and I turns into a fight, react and act in and as my experienced surge of emotions/feelings which I express within the manifested expression of me as yelling and screaming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eventually just walk out, because of the emotions/feelings that surged and manifested within me, within and as which I yelled and screamed becomes too much, and I eventually ‘give in’ because of it; giving up on the entire event/situation and therefore walk out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk out when in the face of my mother within the experience of myself in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event that turns into a fight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, after walking out of such a confrontational/conflicting event with my mother that turned into a fight – experience myself as feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I experienced within me the belief that she wasn’t listening to me at all, and that all she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way.’
All our conversations end up going this route – starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off, blaming her for why I’m experiencing myself this way, that it’s her fault, she’s the problem in my life and that I’m the victim in it all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the ‘all-knowing’ and ‘already knowing’ that conversations with my mother will end up going the exact same route of starting with confrontation/conflict, which ends up as us both screaming/yelling at each other and me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me, with me eventually running off.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already in the beginning of the conversation with my mother, exist in expectation of where it’ll eventually, inevitably lead to, because it happens/occurs/manifests exactly the same way always.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always, when, during and after a confrontational/conflicting event/situation with my mother – react in emotional/feeling turmoil within, which I express/act out through yelling/screaming back which eventually, inevitably lead to me running off in tears of anger and frustration.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always, during a confrontational event/situation with my mother – when my mother starts expressing herself as I experience her as ‘authority’ and starts yelling/screaming – to immediately going into ‘reaction-mode’ within myself as emotional/feeling turmoil and start expressing exactly towards her, as she is towards me, because of what I’m experiencing within me, due to the immediate reaction that take place as the surge of emotions/feelings rise up within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame her for what I’m experiencing within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that she is the cause for what I’m experiencing within me, therefore me blaming her for what I’m experiencing within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience what I’m experiencing within myself as the surge of emotional/feeling turmoil, and me acting out in it through yelling/screaming as being her fault.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience her as being the problem in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as ‘being the victim’ within it all, because of the experience within me, that she is the cause of everything that I experience within me during such a confrontational/conflicting event with her.
And when this happens, I know she’s won, because she got me to tears again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother winning and me losing, because of me starting to cry within the surge of emotions/feelings that rise up within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother as ‘winning’, because of me believing that she’s the cause, the problem of me crying/the emotional/feeling turmoil that rise up within me, and because of this – she’s ‘won,’ because I believe that ‘she’s the one that got me to tears.’
Alright, so here we moved through the Self Forgiveness Process, only related to the Point identified as Response, through the Question-Process of ‘bringing the Jack-In-The-Box Memory into and as your current reality and experience of you,’
Herein also an example of the specificity required in the Self Forgiveness Process, as the specificity within the Self Forgiveness, which you’ll see for yourself as we continue, will assist and support within the specificity of seeing the insights/understandings/revelations/realisations of the Self Forgiveness you applied – actually ‘provides.’
Now, we’ll begin with the first sentence that we’ve written in the response together with the self forgiveness applied, and so we’ll move through each one individually with questions and responses – doing this for specific perspective / ‘practice’ for yourself through, within and as examples – to assist and support with the Insight/Realisaton/Understanding/Revelation Process – from where the Self Corrective Action here in the physical originate.
It is suggested to walk through this Process, in regards to a Jack-In-The-Box Memory within the following starting point self-honest understanding:
That your world is a manifested physical reflection of you and that each being in your world currently exist as a ‘part of you’ from which you’ve separated yourself from; and that each being in your world currently, is reflecting that which you’ve separated yourself from within yourself.
Events/situation that manifest/exist in your current world/reality within which you experience yourself a certain/specific way, especially in regards with sudden, immediate, seemingly unexpected surges of emotions/feelings. That such events/situations is revealing/showing manifested acceptances/allowances of beliefs/ideas and definitions of you. That you haven’t self-directed you within, to stand here in self honesty.
Therefore, to take the stance within yourself here in self honesty – within realising that human beings, situations/events that take place within your world/reality – is reflecting you back to you, as what you’ve separated you from and is revealing what you haven’t yet self-directed within yourself here in self honesty.
This Process we’re walking through at the moment, with regards to the Self Forgiveness and the Questions and Responses of the Self Forgiveness Process and the Insight/Understanding/Realisation/Revelation Process of the Self Forgiveness Process applied within the Questions/Responses Process – is to assist and support self effectively to specifically identify that which what is being experienced within you towards your world – is showing/revealing about/of what you’re accepting and allowing you to exist as currently – to from there, assist and support self within the Self Corrective Action Process – to in actuality change here in the Physical.
Within the next Section, we’ll be going through the Insight/Understanding/Realisation/Revelation Process of the Self Forgiveness Process applied in the example we discussed in this document.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 10)
Within this document, we’ll embark on the process of going through each specific self forgiveness statement we expressed within the previous document and move with you through each one individually, as the questions to be asked that’ll assist and support you with how to assist and support yourself with insights/understandings/realisations within the self forgiveness that you applied to ‘follow through your self forgiveness to its completeness,’ to assist and support you within the inevitable step of self-change practically here in and as the physical.
Step by Step Process of Question to Assist and Support with Insights/Understandings/Realisations:
1. Written Word of Experience:
I immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my Mother.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my mother.
Insight/Understanding/Realisation:
Question:
What is my reaction of emotions/feelings revealing of what I am accepting and allowing within myself?
1. It’s showing me, that I’m accepting and allowing myself to immediately give in to the emotions/feelings that suddenly come up.
2. It’s showing me that I’m not yet stable and constant and am still accepting and allowing myself to react in the emotions and feelings that surge up inside of me.
3. It’s showing me that I’m not here as breath in the moment as constant and stable as breath that is me, but immediately go into the mind and accept and allow myself to participate in the surge of emotions and feelings as reaction that manifest of the mind.
4. It’s showing me that I’m accepting and allowing myself to be directed by reactions as emotions and feelings that surge up, instead of being self-directive and not accepting and allowing myself to participate in the reactions of emotions/feelings that come up.
5. Therefore, showing me – that I am still reacting in emotions/feeling existent within myself.
(Suggested here within the insights/understandings/realizations to assist and support you within self forgiveness as follows: )
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately give in to the emotions/feelings that suddenly come up.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to remain stable and constant here in breath, but still accepted and allowed myself to react in the emotions and feelings that surge up inside of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to remain here one and equal constant and stable as breath that is me in the moment, but accepted and allowed myself to immediately go into the mind because I accepted and allowed myself to participate in the reaction of emotions/feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by emotions and feelings as reactions that come up inside of me, instead of me being self-directive and stopping me from accepting and allowing myself to participate in the reaction of emotions/feelings that come up inside of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue reacting in emotions/feelings existent within myself.
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to not accept nor allow myself to again walk down the same road I’ve always walked, through immediately reacting, which leads to the inevitable experience of emotional/feeling turmoil which leads to the inevitable fight which leaves me experiencing myself not so comfortably?
To assist and support myself here in and as breath and remain constant and stable in and as breath; as breath itself as me is constant and stable – and simply not accept or allow myself to immediately react to/towards my mother or give in to the surge of emotional / feeling turmoil within me.
Instead, breathe through the reaction if it dares to move and stop me here in self directiveness in the moment in and as breath - from accepting and allowing the reaction to accumulate to emotional/feeling turmoil and no more accept or allow myself to be directed by emotions/feelings as reactive responses.
(Suggested here to also assist and support you within self forgiveness as follows: )
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately react and fall into the following of my emotional/feeling reaction of mind – instead of remaining stable and constant here in the moment one and equal as breath that is constant and stable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the experience of emotions/feeling as reaction that came up inside of me, instead of stopping me here in the moment of breath in self directiveness and not accepting and allowing the reaction to accumulate to emotional/feeling turmoil.
2. Written Word of Experience:
Especially in moments when I experience that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to especially react in a surge of emotions/feelings when I experience within myself that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me.
Insight/Understanding/Realisation:
Question:
What is me experiencing an reaction within myself when I think she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me, revealing of what I am accepting and allowing within myself?
1. Firstly, the very point of reacting within myself, when I ‘experiencing/think’ within me, that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me – indicates a ‘point’ I am not considering within which I’m not self-honest – what is it?
2. SHE’S not listening, SHE’S not hearing, SHE’S not understanding = this is blame, directing an experience within myself towards my mother.
3. Blame would indicate that I am projecting myself unto my mother, blame is shifting responsibility to another to not have to take self-responsibility, because blame seems easier
4. Therefore, I’m blaming her for what I’m actually accepting and allowing inside myself
5. Blaming my mother from the perspective that SHE’S the one that’s not hearing, understanding or listening – is showing me, that I’m actually the one that’s not hearing, listening or understanding her and therefore, I’m not hearing, listening or understanding myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that if I react to an experience/thought within me, directed to/towards someone else, I am accepting and allowing myself to be self-dishonest in accepting and allowing myself to participate and act in such an experience/thought.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct blame towards my mother – blaming her for not listening to what I have to say, not hearing me and not understanding me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that my projecting blame unto my mother, is me attempting to shift responsibility through shifting blame towards her so that I don’t have to take self responsibility for what I accept and allow within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame her for what I am accepting and allowing within myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that by me blaming her from the perspective that SHE’S the one not listening, hearing or understanding me –that I am in the very act of such blame – showing to me that I’m actually the one not listening, hearing or understanding her – and therefore indicating, that I’m not hearing, listening or understanding myself.
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to practically assist and support myself in the moment, to not accept or allow myself to direct blame towards another as an attempt to shift responsibility through an experience/thought that come up inside myself to which I usually react that is directed towards the other?
I will immediately assist and support myself in the moment to stop myself from continuing participating in the reaction that come up inside of me related to the thought/belief/perception as ‘experience’ that come up, that she’s not hearing me, not listening to me and not understanding me.
In this moment such a thought/belief/perception comes up – I will ‘slow down’ here in and as breath, stop myself slowly from accepting and allowing myself to continue participating in the reaction that come up together with the experience/thought/belief/perception.
Because I understand that such a thought/belief/perception that comes up as ‘she not hearing me, not listening to me and not understanding me’ – is revealing to me that I’m actually the one not hearing, understanding or listening to what she’s expressing here in the moment.
Therefore, within this understanding, realization and insight – I take self responsibility for me, stop the reaction through not participating in such an assumption/belief/perception and slow down here in and as breath and HEAR HERE as breath calmly and stable as breath that is me.
Thus, not accepting or allowing myself to follow perceptions/ideas/assumptions/beliefs that form towards another as blame – but actually hear the words that are being said and in common sense self honesty communicate what I see here in the moment as breath and not accepting/allowing myself to speak in/of reaction of mind, because I know already where that road ends – NO MORE!
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stop myself from participating in such a thought/belief/perception/assumption that comes up within me, but instead accepted and allowed myself to believe that is real and true which manifested the experience of reactive emotional/feeling turmoil within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that all that is real is breath here.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to immediately stop myself from accepting and allowing myself to participate in the reaction that came up inside of me, because of a thought/belief/perception/assumption that formed inside of me towards another – indicating already accepted and allowed self-dishonesty as shifting blame towards another for me not taking self responsibility for what is experienced within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to ‘slow myself down here in and as breath’ when emotions and feelings surge up inside of me, but instead accepted and allowed myself to continue my self-dishonest participation in emotions/feelings of mind, which I know/understand is not who I am.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to take self responsibility for me, by assisting and supporting me to not accept/allow myself to continue participating in emotions/feelings but to remain stable, constant here in and as breath that is me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to what my mind has to say, therefore not hearing or understanding what my mother is saying, therefore not hearing or understanding me here, because I am not HERE as BREATH – but accepted and allowed myself to direct blame towards her, that she’s the one not hearing, listening or understanding = when all the while it was me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to HEAR HERE as BREATH that is me the other that is me – but instead accepted and allowed myself to listen to what my mind had to say in separation of me HERE as BREATH – already indicating that I’m not here as breath in self honesty, but accepting and allowing myself to participate in the self-dishonesty of mind in separation of me as listening to thoughts.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak in reactions of emotions/feelings of mind – instead of remaining constant, stable here as breath that is me and express me in self honest common sense as I hear the words of the other that is me.
Alright, we’ll continue within the next document…
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 11)
Continuing with the practical examples with Questions and Responses of the Insight, Understanding, Realisation and Practical Self Corrective Action for the Self Forgiveness Process applied of the Written Words of an experience within yourself and your world, which we moved through in God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 9) through, into the God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 10) and now continuing with in this document: God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 11):
3.
Written Words of Experience:
No matter how much I attempt/try to express ‘my side of the story,’ she keeps on and continues ‘attacking me’ as though ‘it’s all my fault’ as though ‘I am the problem, the fault’ within it all, giving me no opportunity to explain myself.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event with my Mother, because I experience within me, that no matter how much I attempt/try to express ‘my side of the story,’ she keeps on and continues ‘attacking’ me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotional/feeling turmoil within myself towards my mother when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event, because I experience within me as though she’s making it ‘all my fault,’ that ‘I’m the problem,’ the fault within it all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotional/feeling turmoil towards my mother when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event in which I experience her expression towards me as ‘attacking me’ – because the experience within me, is as though she’s not giving me an opportunity to explain myself.
Insight/Understanding/Realisation:
Questions:
1. What acceptance and allowance within me, is being revealed, through me experiencing my mother’s expression as an ‘attack’ towards me?
2. What acceptance and allowance within me, is being revealed through me experiencing within me, that my mother is the one making it all my fault, that I’m the problem?
3. What acceptance and allowance within me is being revealed of me, 3. through me pushing attempting/trying even harder to express ‘my side of the story’ within the starting point of reaction of emotions/feelings because of the experience within me, that she’s attacking me and making it all my fault as though I am the problem?
Question 1:
What acceptance and allowance within me, is being revealed, through me experiencing my mother’s expression as an ‘attack’ towards me?
The idea/belief/assumption that she’s ‘attacking me’ indicates that I’m reacting within myself towards my mother’s particular expression in words and deed.
This reaction towards her within myself indicates that I’m taking the words she’s speaking and her mannerism/behaviour towards me ‘personally,’ as though ‘she’s doing something unto me.’ This ‘doing something unto me’ experience within me, because of me taking her expression in word/deed personally – forming the experience within me of ‘her attacking me.’
I see that she’s actually not ‘attacking me’ – I only experience this, because of me taking her expression in word/deed personally through/by reacting towards her expression in word/deed.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the forming of an idea/belief/assumption within me, that she’s attacking me – indicates that I’m accepting and allowing myself to react towards my mother.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards my mother’s words/deeds and in this reaction forming the idea/belief/assumption that she’s attacking me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that this reaction towards her within myself indicates that I’m taking her mannerism/behaviour towards me personally – which forms the idea/perception/belief that she’s ‘doing something unto me’ as ‘attacking me’.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that she isn’t actually ‘attacking me.’ This I only experience, because of me taking her expression towards me personally because of me accepting and allowing myself to react towards her in the first place.
Question 2:
What acceptance and allowance within me, is being revealed, through me experiencing within me, that my mother is the one making it all my fault, that I’m the problem?
Only because I believe/think within me, that she’s attacking me, do I think/believe that she’s making it all my fault, as though I’m the problem.
Within the very idea/perception that is formed inside of me of her making it my fault, making me the problem – actually indicate that I am ‘faulting’ and that I am the ‘problem’ within my very acceptance and allowance of thinking/believing that she’s attacking me – which cause a massive reaction of emotions/feelings within myself, just because of such a belief/thought.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that only because I think/believe that she’s attacking me – does the thought/belief manifest that she’s making it my fault, as though I’m the problem.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that this entire experience of her attacking me, making it my fault as though I’m the problem – is only beliefs/assumptions that is formed, because I’m reacting towards her, taking her expression towards me personally.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I’m accepting and allowing myself to form ideas/beliefs within me – because of emotional/feeling reactions within me – therefore, how can I trust what I experience within me as ‘being real’ – if the starting point of such experiences is of the mind?
Question 3:
What acceptance and allowance within me, is being revealed of me, through me pushing attempting/trying even harder to express ‘my side of the story’ within the starting point of reaction of emotions/feelings because of the experience within me, that she’s attacking me and making it all my fault as though I am the problem?
With me then wanting to push further in trying to ‘explain myself’ and bring across ‘my side of the story’ from within a starting point of reaction – indicates that I’m going into defense-mode within myself, because of the idea/belief that she’s attacking me, and me wanting to ‘prove to her’ that it’s not me that’s the problem/the fault in it all.
With me going into ‘defense-mode’ indicates that she’s reflecting parts of me back to myself that I am refusing to see – this why I’m taking what she’s expressing in words/deed personally. I’m refusing to see myself as what she’s presenting of myself. Hiding within the justification of it being her ‘attacking me’ and ‘making it all my fault as though I’m the problem’ instead of me looking to myself – asking why I’m accepting and allowing myself to react towards her.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that within me wanting to further push in trying to ‘explain myself’ and express ‘my side of the story’ from within a starting point of reactive emotions/feelings, is that such ‘pushing’ is me actually wanting to ‘prove something to someone’ – thus indicating that I’m actually not self-honest here in the moment in commons sense self expression as me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that in this ‘pushing’ as reactive emotions/feelings ‘drive me’ to ‘want to’ desperately bring across ‘my point of view’ – being driven within the idea/perception that she’s attacking me, making it my fault, as though I’m the problem – is me actually going into defense-mode, wanting to defend myself as what I’m trying/attempting to say/express.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that in me going into defense-mode as me ‘pushing harder and harder’ to bring across my point of view within the starting point reaction of me believing that she’s the one making it my fault, as though I’m the problem – is me attempting to prove to my mother that I’m not the problem, that I’m not the one faulting.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that within me going into defense-mode, this very act indicates that she’s representing parts of me I’m refusing to see, while I respond by hiding myself, by going into defense mode.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the very act of taking her expression towards me personally indicates that she’s representing parts of me that I’m refusing to see, reflecting me back to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in the justification within myself that she’s attacking me, making me the problem, the fault in it all, when the truth of the situation is, that I’m reacting towards her, because I’m taking her expression towards me personally, because she’s showing/revealing me to myself, and I don’t like that, I don’t like seeing myself and want to hide this in any and all way possible – such as going into ‘defense-mode’.
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
How am I going to practically assist and support me, by no more accepting and allowing myself to take my mother’s expression towards me personally, which manifested the entire mind-belief/perception/assumption/idea of her attacking me, making it my fault as though I’m the problem, within which I react in emotional/feeling turmoil even further – leading us both down the same road of a fight?
Firstly, in the moment I accept and allow myself to react towards my mother – I stop. I breathe and assist and support me to stabilize me here in and as breath. Because I know then, that this reaction within me, is indicating that I’m taking her expression towards me personally.
Secondly, I identify the exact words and her stance as mannerism/behaviour towards me – to identify what of her words and her stance is reflecting me back to myself as a manifested / expressed presentation of myself I am refusing to see. Because I understand, that that towards which I am reacting – is actually revealing/representing a part(s) of me that I am existing as and actually expressing towards others – but refusing to see.
From here, to apply self forgiveness and self corrective action to not accept or allow myself to act/behave/speak as that towards others, which my mother is reflecting of me – but what I am refusing to see.
(NOTE: I’ll be returning to this section at the end of this Process we’re moving through now – to give an practical example of how this is done)
The moment that idea/belief comes up within me, that she’s making it my fault as though I’m the problem, experiencing it as though her attacking me – I know I’ve gone too far and accepted and allowed myself to participate in my reactive emotions/feelings – I immediately stop, breathe and not accept/allow myself to continue participating.
The moment I continue trying/attempting to push harder and harder – I know I’m accepting and allowing myself to go into defense-mode. I’ve again accepted and allowed myself to go too far. I stop myself from continuing to want to push harder and harder I breathe here and I HEAR.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to immediately stop within myself, the moment I experience a reaction within me towards my mother – but continued participating in such a reaction, without realizing that the reaction within me towards my mother, is revealing an acceptance and allowance within me of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that such reactions within me towards my mother, within which I go into immediate defense-mode, indicates that I’m actually taking her reaction towards me personally, because she’s showing me to myself and that’s exactly what I don’t want to see, because that would mean I’d have to change me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I haven’t wanted to see that my mother is reflecting and representing parts of me, because I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as such acts/words my mother reflect of me, that I’m accepting/allowing myself to do unto others.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to immediately stop myself the moment an idea/belief is formed within my mind originating from a reaction within myself – but continued to accept and allow myself to participate within it.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to immediately stop myself the moment I experience within myself that I am acting out from within a reaction within myself through wanting to push harder and more to bring across my point of view.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the accepted and allowed act of taking someone or something personally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the accepted and allowed act of manifested defense mode.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that the very existence of me as reacting towards another, taking their expression towards me personally and going into defense-mode is accepted and allowed dishonesty – yet I still accept and allow myself to want to make it the other’s fault/problem, and not take self responsibility for me here.
We’ll continue within the next section.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 12)
Continuing with the Written Words of an Experience and the practical examples of how to assist and support self to see the insights/understandings/realisations within the self forgiveness applied, to assist and support self effectively within the process of self corrective application.
4.
Written Words of Experience:
During this, she manifests her authority over and of me, by her claiming she’s right and Im wrong, which makes me feel like I’m stupid, nothing that I’m always wrong and she’s always right, no matter what.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother as authority over and of me when I experience her going into attack towards me in a conflicting/confrontational event/situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel stupid and like nothing when I experience within me her establishing her authority by her claiming she’s right and I’m wrong.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself towards my mother in a conflicting/confrontational as me as always wrong and her as always right.
Insight/Understanding/Realisation:
Questions:
What is my experience towards my mother as her manifesting her authority revealing about what I am accepting and allowing within myself?
What is my experience within myself as being nothing/stupid because of me experiencing my mother as her claiming that she’s right and I’m wrong no matter what revealing about what I am accepting and allowing within myself?
Question 1:
What is my experience towards my mother as her manifesting her authority revealing about what I am accepting and allowing within myself?
1. Common Sense: If I’m experiencing her that’s standing before me, outside of me as authority, this reflects that I am experiencing myself as the polarity opposite of what I experience towards her as authority, which is: Inferiority.
2. With me reacting to my experience towards my mother as her manifesting her authority, this would indicate that I take the exact same stance of manifesting my authority towards others in my world. The reaction towards my mothers authoritative-stance confirms this, as I am reacting towards myself as what Ive defined myself as, which my mother is reflecting of myself.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize that within my experiencing my mother as an authoritative-manifestation as a being that stands outside separate from me, I am revealing/showing myself, that such a projection as authority towards another reveals that I am accepting and allowing me to exist as inferiority.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as inferiority, creating the perception/belief/assumption that others are superior / authoritative.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that within me reacting towards my experience within myself as my mother manifesting her authority over and of me, that this reaction within me indicates that I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as a manifestation of authority towards others in my world.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize that in reacting towards the experience within myself as my mother manifesting her authority over and of me that this reaction reveals that my mother is reflecting a part of me that I havent allowed myself to see, because Ive defined myself as that which my mother is reflecting of me as authority.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the manifested expression of authority over and of others that my mother in an conflicting/confrontational situation/experience with her reflected towards me of myself.
Question 2:
What is my experience within myself when my mother claims that I am nothing/stupid while shes right and Im wrong no matter what, revealing about what I am accepting and allowing within myself?
3. Right and Wrong indicates polarity me manifesting the superiority as authority I experience my mother to be, through me accepting and allowing myself to exist in inferiority towards her, which manifests the polarity-experience of her claiming shes right and that Im wrong, validating my inferior experience to her authority manifestation.
4. Me experiencing myself as nothing and stupid also originating from me experiencing myself as inferior towards my mother whom I experience as superior / the authority.
5. Therefore, within the shes right and Im wrong experience, I claim my mothers assertion through her authoritative-stance along with me experiencing myself as stupid and nothing all derivatives of the inferiority Im accepting and allowing myself to exist as and attempting to justify this existence of inferiority that I am through manifesting such thoughts/ideas/beliefs within me wanting to make it all her fault, instead of me checking me first.
6. Therefore, the shes right and Im wrong experience I claim my mother is claiming through her authoritative-stance along with me experiencing myself as stupid and nothing = isnt real, Im deliberately making it real as an attempt for me not to see the inferiority Ive accepted and allowed myself to be as well as the authority I manifest towards others which my mother is reflecting of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the polarity of right and wrong.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize that the manifestation of the experience within myself of my mother claiming that shes right and that Im wrong when I experience within me, her manifesting her authority over and of me, actually originates from my accepted and allowed definition of me as inferior/inferiority.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that I am accepting and allowing myself to validate my inferior/inferiority self-definition and experience towards my mother through me existing within the belief/assumption/perception that shes claiming shes right and Im wrong when I experience within me that shes manifesting her authority over and of me.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that my experience of me as being nothing and stupid originates from my accepted and allowed self-definition as inferior/inferiority and experience of myself as inferior/inferiority towards my mother whom I experience as superiority/authority over and of me.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that the shes right and Im wrong experience I claim my mothers claiming through her authoritative-stance along with me experiencing myself as stupid and nothing are all derivatives of the inferiority Im accepting and allowing myself to exist as.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that I am attempting to justify and validate this accepted and allowed existence of me as inferiority/inferior as which I have defined myself and exist as towards my mother whom I experience as superior/authority over and of me, through manifesting such beliefs/assumptions/perceptions of her claiming the shes always right and Im always wrong along with me accepting and allowing myself to exist in the experience of feeling stupid and as nothing.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that the experiences manifested within myself of my mother claiming shes right and Im wrong and me experiencing myself as nothing and stupid when I experience her manifesting her authoritative stance over and of me, isnt real, but Im making it real to justify, defend and protect my accepted and allowed existence as inferiority and also that fact the I do exactly as she does towards me, towards others in my world
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to not accept or allow myself to continue the existence of me as inferiority, which only manifest the polarity-game-playout in conflicting/confrontational experiences with my mother for example, which only always end up with us both in a fight in a turmoil of emotions and feelings?
The moment I experience within me, that my mother is manifesting her authority over and of me and I accept and allow myself to react towards her, I know that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in inferiority within me, projecting the polarity opposite of what I am participating within me as inferiority, towards her as superiority/authority.
The moment, the justification within me exists of experiencing my mother claiming her to be right and be to be wrong and the experience of me as being stupid/nothing overwhelm me, I know that this is self-dishonest, because I am using this as an excuse to want to defend my accepted and allowed existence of inferiority and at the same time, my refusal to see that my mother is reflecting me to myself as the part of me as superiority/authority that I exist as towards others in my world.
To stop the accepted and allowed existence of me as inferiority within myself and superiority that I act out towards others in my world as the part of me that my mother is reflecting of me.
With regards to the inferiority I am to assist and support myself, to identify this inferiority-definition I have accepted and allowed to design of myself and stop accepting and allowing myself to exist as inferiority.
From here, to identify towards who within my world do I express authority/superiority as what my mother is reflecting of me to myself which Im only using to hide the existence of me as inferiority.
Assisting and supporting myself within this to stop existing within and of inferiority and superiority polarity that I have defined myself as and accepting and allowing myself to exist compromising me and others as me, because I see, that what I am experiencing within me towards my mother, I am actually also causing others to experience within themselves when I do exactly towards them, what my mother is doing towards me, as shes reflecting of me what I have become.
(NOTE: Ill be returning to this section at the end of this Process were moving through now to give a practical example of how this is done)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue the existence of me as the polarity manifested expression of me as inferiority and superiority.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that within my reaction towards my mothers expression as her manifesting her authority, shes reflecting me back to myself, indicating that I do exactly unto others what shes expressing towards me, thus causing others to experience exactly what I am experiencing within myself towards my mother.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize that the moment I react towards my experience within myself as my mother manifesting her authority over and of me reveals to me that I am accepting and allowing myself to exist and participate and act within and as the manifested accepted and allowed existence of me as inferiority.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate, manifest and exist within the accepted and allowed justification and excuse as self-dishonesty of it being my mother claiming that shes right and Im wrong and me experiencing myself as nothing/stupid when in truth, it is because of my accepted and allowed existence as inferiority that I am attempting to hide, together with that of myself that my mother is reflecting of me as superiority/authority which Im refusing to see, because Ive defined such an expression as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue the existence of me within assumptions/ideas/perceptions and beliefs that my mother is always claiming me to be wrong and her to be right, which manifests the justified experience of me as being nothing/stupid to defend/validate the accepted and allowed definition of me as inferiority and continue the definition of me as superior/authoritative to/towards other in my world/reality.
5.
Written Words of Experience:
She continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me/slamming the table the more I express my view which causes me to go into emotional/feeling turmoil within myself.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within emotional/feeling turmoil when I experience within myself that the more I attempt to express my view my mother starts yelling more, raising her voice more, starts changing in her mannerism/behaviour through pointing her finger at me/slamming the table, which only cause me to react within myself even further.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react even further within myself within emotions/feelings when my mother starts yelling, raising her voice, pointing her finger at me or slamming the table, the more I am attempting/trying to express my view which at that point seems futile.
Insight/Understanding/Realisation:
Questions:
What acceptance and allowance within me is being revealed, within the expressed action of myself of me pushing/forcing to express my view within the starting point of reactive emotions/feelings?
What acceptance and allowance within me is being revealed, through me wanting to push/force my view even more, when my mother continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me/slamming the table, which only cause me to go into further emotional/feeling turmoil?
Question 1:
What acceptance and allowance within me is being revealed, within the expressed action of myself of pushing/forcing to express my view within the starting point of reactive emotions/feelings?
1. The very act of me pushing to express my point of view from within the starting point of reactive emotions/feelings indicates me going into the defense-mode.
2. Defense-mode indicating me wanting to defend something/protect something I feel/experience within myself.
3. The only reason why I (in a starting point of reaction) would want to express my view even further, is the feeling of doubt within myself that I may be wrong after hearing my mothers words/expression towards me. But dont want to admit it, therefore Id go into defense to want to make the fear of being wrong and having to admit it go away by pushing/forcing my view even further because I want to be right and win the fight.
4. So, what Im doing here, in wanting to push MY view even further within the starting point of emotional/feeling reactions is revealing/showing to me, that within myself I know that I may be wrong but dont want to admit it. Therefore, Ill go into defense mode by pushing MY view even further in an attempt to with the fight.
5. Also, within me wanting to push MY view, indicates self-interest and that Im not HEARING HERE what it is that my mother is saying/expressing. All Im wanting to do and listen to, is myself and what I want to express.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize that the very accepted and allowed act of me wanting to push MY view even further within the starting point of reactive emotions/feelings indicates the accepted and allowed act of defense me going into defense-mode.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that defense-mode indicates me wanting to protect/defend an experience existent within me, that I dont want to admit to or see as this would indicate defeat and I dont want to lose the fight.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that the only reason why I, in a starting point of reaction would want to express my view even further, is the feeling of doubt within myself that I may be wrong after hearing my mothers words/expression towards me.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that me going into defense mode through wanting to push MY view even further within the starting point of reactive emotions/feelings is an attempt to hide the knowing/feeling within me, that I may be mistaken on a particular point but dont want to admit it, instead attempting to hide and disclose this experience within me, through going into accepted and allow defense mode through pushing further my point of view within the starting point of reactive emotions/feelings.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that within me wanting to push MY view only ever so fervently within the starting point of reactive emotions/feelings that Im not HERE HEARING the words expressed through and as my mother but me only listening and taking into consideration myself.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that within me only listening to myself and taking myself into consideration indicates accepted and allowed self-interest and self-dishonesty, which is also why, Id want to make her the problem, the fault, blaming her for what Im experiencing within myself to not see what I am doing and have become in accepted and allowed self-dishonesty as self-interest.
Question 2:
What acceptance and allowance within me is being revealed, through me wanting to push/force my view even more, when my mother continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me/slamming the table, which only causes me to go into further emotional/feeling turmoil?
6. The very experience of my emotions/feelings compounding within myself the moment my mother raises her voice, yells, slams the table, points her finger indicate fear existent within me towards her particular expression.
7. The very act of me wanting to push my view even further, because of the physical-expression of my mother in word and deed culminating which cause my emotions/feelings to run amok indicates me wanting to protect myself from the fear I experience within me towards my mother perceiving my mother to be a threat because of me reacting in fear towards her expression.
8. This fear-reaction within me towards her manifested physical expression, forming an idea/belief/assumption that shes posing a threat against which I want to protect myself thus utilizing the culmination of emotions/feelings within me and me wanting to push/force my view as a protection-mechanism that I manifest to actually protect me from my own fear-reaction experienced within me, projected towards my mother lol.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize that the very experience of my emotions/feelings compounding within myself the moment my mother raises her voice, yells, slams the table, points her finger indicate my accepted and allowed act of reacting in fear towards her.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize, that the very act of me wanting to push my view even further, because of me reacting in fear towards my mothers particular physical expression indicates me wanting to protect myself from my mothers particular physical expression, because of the fear to which I react that came up within myself.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realize that me compounding my emotions/feelings within myself by participating in them even further and wanting to force/push my point of view even further indicates me accessing a protection-mechanism design of myself, in an attempt to protect myself from my own fear manifested within me, projected towards my mother as being a threat lol.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive my mother as a threat because of a fear that manifest within me towards her manifested physical expression within me creating the perception/belief/idea that shes a threat, because of me reacting towards her physical manifested expression in word and deed towards me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a defense-mechanism that activates as me, when I accept and allow myself to manifest fear within me and projecting that fear unto another through creating them to be the threat when all along its the fear that I am and accept and allow myself to participate in creating them to be the threat.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards my mothers particular expression as raising her voice, yelling, slamming the table and pointing her finger at me as shes speaking.
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How to practically assist and support myself in not accepting or allowing myself to go into a manifested protection-mechanism of myself from within fear which causes emotions/feeling to culminate within me and my actions/expression towards my mother in a conflicting/confrontational event which only leads down the exact same road to the exact same end?
When I see that I am wanting to push/force my point of view even further as I experience my emotions/feeling compounding within myself I stop myself immediately from continuing to want to force/push my point of view as I see in this moment that this is accepted and allowed self-dishonesty; because all Im doing is defending myself from not wanting to admit that I may be mistaken, when I see that I could actually be mistaken.
I identify this experience within me of where I may be mistaken and stop wanting to win a fight to support my EGO by wanting to push MY view within reactive emotions/feelings.
(NOTE: Ill be returning to this section at the end of this Process were moving through now to give an practical example of how this is done)
This action of me wanting to push/force only MY view also indicating to me that Im not HEARING HERE therefore I immediately slow down here in and as breath, stop participating in the emotions/feelings rising up within me that I use to want to force/push MY point of view and unconditionally hear here as breath, what my mother is saying and respond in common sense self stability here as breath = NO REACTION.
When I experience within me, that I am further accepting and allowing my emotions/feelings to compound within me, because of my experience towards my mothers particular physical expressions in word and deed: I know that I am accepting and allowing myself to react in fear.
I immediately stop the moment I recognize this because I know the fear that I am existing within is projecting her to be a threat when all the while it is me, reacting in accepted and allowed fear towards her.
Then, to identify specifically within myself for myself, why and how I am accepting and allowing myself to particularly react in fear towards her physical expression towards me, that activates the defense-mechanism within me; because of this fear being projected towards her, manifesting the belief/assumption/idea that shes a threat.
(NOTE: Ill be returning to this section at the end of this Process were moving through now to give an practical example of how this is done)
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 13)
6.
Written Word of Experience:
And at the end – it always turns into an ‘fight’, wherein I yell and scream back as my emotions/feelings surge and eventually walk out feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I believed that she wasn’t willing to listen to me at all – all she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way’.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yell and scream back when the confrontation/conflict situation/event between my mother and I eventually turns into a fight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when the conflict/confrontation between my mother and I turns into a fight, react and act in and as my experienced surge of emotions/feelings which I express within the manifested expression of me as yelling and screaming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eventually just walk out, because of the emotions/feelings that surged and manifested within me, within and as which I yelled and screamed becomes too much, and I eventually ‘give in’ because of it – giving up on the entire event/situation and therefore walk out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk out when in the face of my mother within the experience of myself in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event that turns into a fight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, after walking out of such a confrontational/conflicting event with my mother that turned into a fight – experience myself as feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I experienced within me the belief that she wasn’t listening to me at all, and that all she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way’.
Insight/Understanding/Realisation:
Questions:
What is being revealed of me as what I am accepting and allowing to exist as me, within me yelling and screaming back at my mother as my emotions and feelings within me surge?
What is being revealed of me, as what I am accepting and allowing to exist as me, when after I have walked out, I experience myself being frustrated, angered and horrible?
What is being revealed of me as what I am accepting and allowing to exist within me, within the experience that manifest that it is my mother that wasn’t willing to listen to me at all and that all SHE wanted to was ‘have it all her way’?
Question 1:
What is being revealed of me as what I am accepting and allowing to exist as me, within me yelling and screaming back at my mother as my emotions and feelings within me surge?
1. Most certainly that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue participating in my reactions within the beginning, which culminated and compounded and in this compounded/culminated effect, ‘it had to come out some way or another’ and that manifested as me acting out this surge of emotions/feelings through the physical expressed act of screaming and yelling.
2. Therefore, I accepted and allowed myself to ‘act out’ the emotional/feeling surge that compounded/culminated within me through yelling and screaming.
3. This indicate also, that I was mirroring my mother – doing exactly unto her as what she was doing unto me – the ‘eye for an eye’ principle, attempting/trying to ‘get back at her for screaming/yelling at me’ – giving myself the ‘right’ to scream and yell at her, because ‘she’s doing it to me’.
4. This accepted and allowed action of ‘giving myself the right to scream’ because ‘she’s doing it to me’ – indicate justification, me wanting to justify my accepted and allowed act of acting out the accepted and allowed surge of emotions/feelings within me through screaming/yelling.
5. This also indicate, through me yelling and screaming back at my mother as she was yelling and screaming towards me – is me showing myself how I am accepting and allowing myself to be exactly as/like my mother – and that my mother is indeed reflecting me back to myself – but because I’m refusing to see: I live/act as she does – to show/reveal to myself, what I am accepting and allowing myself to be and become as that which my mother is existing as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue the participation of me within reaction of emotions/feelings, which eventually compounded, culminated to such an extent, that ‘it had to come out in one way or another’ – which manifested me acting out the emotional/feeling reactions within the physically expressed act of screaming and yelling.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my emotions and feelings as reactions, to culminate and compounded to such an extent in the first place – wherein I accepted and allowed myself to ‘act out’ within the surge of emotions/feelings through screaming and yelling.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I was precisely mirroring my mother.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the very accepted and allowed act of mirroring my mother through screaming and yelling towards her as she was doing unto me – accepting and allowing myself to exist within the ‘eye for an eye principle’.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that within the very acceptance and allowance of me existing in and acting out the ‘eye for an eye principle’ – that I am justifying my own accepted and allowed actions through using her expression as a ‘reason’ for ‘why I may act as she does’.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that within me yelling and screaming back exactly as she yelled and screamed at me – that I was showing myself, revealing to myself, how I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as what my mother is accepting and allowing herself to exist as.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that because I’m refusing to see that my mother is reflecting me, I will be and become exactly as her and do and act exactly as she does – to reveal/show to me, that I am indeed accepting and allowing myself to be and become as my mother.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that another can be the cause, the reason for what exist and is experienced within me – instead of realizing that it’s my responsibility for what exist within me and is experienced within me, and it is through my direct accepted and allowed participation that what exist and is experienced within me – manifest as it does – no-one else and nothing else is to blame = I am responsible.
Question 2:
What is being revealed of me, as what I am accepting and allowing to exist as me, when after I have walked out, I experience myself being frustrated, angered and horrible?
1. I, me, myself is experiencing frustration, anger and ‘being horrible’ within me, myself – yes, it seems easier to blame it on her, to make it all her fault and that she’s the problem – but this is not the state of affairs.
2. I, me, myself is experiencing feeling horrible, frustrated and angered – therefore, it is directed towards me, I’m feeling horrible, frustrated and angered because of me, because of what I accepted and allowed within me.
3. And what I accepted and allowed within me – is to act out in a surge of emotions/feelings and spoke and said words in self dishonesty towards her that I would not have in a usual ‘normal’ conversation – therefore, the regret I experience of what I have done and acted out and expressed towards her – manifested the experience of feeling horrible, angered and frustrated: Regret.
4. Regret, because I know within me I was self-dishonest within the entire experience, and she nor I deserved to have to go through such an actually unnecessary ordeal – such experiences are more of a ‘load off’ of both our inner suppressions that we take out on each other – leaving us both existing in regret afterwards always.
5. So, I was actually taking out all of my own inner suppressions on her, acting out all such inner suppressions exerting it unto her – after which I experience regret within feeling horrible, frustrated and angered – because I know it was unnecessary, and I compromised her and myself, because of such an acceptance and allowance.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that the feelings of horribleness, anger and frustration – exist in me, and thus is of me, myself and therefore not-one else is to blame or is responsible, but me myself here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want to take the seeming easy way out of blaming someone else, making it their fault as though they are the problem, instead of me taking self responsibility for what is existent within me and experienced within me – only existent and experienced, because of my acceptances and allowances.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize the simplicity: I’m experiencing horribleness, anger and frustration – therefore, I’m directing this to exist in me because of my accepted and allowed participation in such experiences within me = instead of stopping.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak words, express actions towards my mother that I wouldn’t have usually said and done in ‘normal conversation’, but continued within such a self-dishonest expression – which lead me as experiencing manifested regret within feeling horrible, angered and frustrated.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that such experiences within me of emotions and feelings ‘after a particular specific event occurred’ – indicate accepted and allowed regret because of accepted and allowed self dishonest acts/expressions towards another that is me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I existed and experienced regret as me, because of me knowing/understanding what I have accepted and allowed to be done unto another as me, I would not deliberately have be done unto me by another.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that such conflicting/confrontational events that end up in fighting – are actually events that manifest wherein two beings ‘off-load’ their suppressed inner emotions/feelings – that are exerted unto another as themselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mother as an ‘inner suppression off-load punching-bag’ – wherein I exert all of my suppressed emotions/feelings out on her.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in regret after such an event/experience with my mother – because of me actually knowing/understanding that I was offloading all my inner suppressed emotions/feelings unto her and within accepting and allowing myself to express/act out in emotions/feelings – speaking words and acting expressions that was unnecessary.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in feelings such as ‘horribleness’, frustration and anger.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as regret.
Question 3:
What is being revealed of me as what I am accepting and allowing to exist within me, within the experience that manifest that it is my mother that wasn’t willing to listen to me at all and that all SHE wanted to was ‘have it all her way’?
1. Projection and Blame: Projecting unto her what is actually existing as me and blaming her to hide what is actually existing as me.
2. Therefore, in me stating that ‘she wasn’t willing to listen’ – it is actually me that wasn’t willing to listen. And within me stating that SHE wanted to ‘have it all HER way’ – is actually me that wanted it to go MY way.
3. Because it didn’t go MY way, because I was the one that wasn’t willing to listen – this also added up into the culminating/compounded surge of emotions/feelings – walking out in anger, frustration and irritation – because I didn’t win, and accepted and allowed defeat when walking out.
4. In this accepted and allowed defeat, anger manifested and in this anger I resorted to blaming her and projecting towards her what was actually existing in me and what I was hiding from myself as the accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project unto my mother was is actually existing as me, and blaming my mother as an attempt to hide from myself as what is actually existing in me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that within me stating within the starting point of anger, frustration and irritation, that ‘she wasn’t willing to listen’ – actually reveal and show of me that I was the one that wasn’t willing to listen, but projected this unto her – for me continue hiding within my accepted and allowed dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that within me stating within the starting of me as anger, frustration and irritation, that she wanted to have it all her way – actually reveal and show of me, that I was the one that wanted it to go my way – but projected this unto her, to continue hiding my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty as what I have become.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that because I was the one that wasn’t willing to listen and wanted it to go MY way – this supported the surge of emotions/feelings within me as walking out in anger, frustration and irritation – because I wanted to win, but didn’t and walked out in defeat.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, the because I didn’t win and walked out in defeat – I accepted and allowed myself to project and blame what was existent within me towards my mother – when all the while it was actually me angry, irritated and frustrated with myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize – that projection and blame unto other, reveal what I am accepting and allowing myself to hide of me that is existent as me.
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to no more accept and allow myself to compound emotions/feelings within me to such an extent wherein I act them out towards another and afterwards experiencing regret – because of suppressed inner emotions/feelings of me, being exerted unto another as me?
I realize that the cause of such conflicting confrontational events is because of accepted and allowed inner suppressed emotions and feelings within me, that I exert out/load off unto my mother.
Therefore, I am to identify the suppressions existent within me – to no more accept/allow myself to abuse another as using them as my personal load-off punching bag – which lead to unnecessary arguments and consequences for both during and after such an event.
(NOTE: I’ll be returning to this section at the end of this Process we’re moving through now – to give an practical example of how this is done)
The moment I experience the emotions/feelings culminating to the extent wherein I experience ‘I want to yell and scream’ as acting out in physical expression – I stop myself from accepting and allowing myself to act out such emotions/feelings immediately – because I already know the consequences of such accepted and allowed acts.
When I walk out of such an event experiencing regret as feeling horrible, frustrated and angered – I know within me, that I was self-dishonest within and during the event – hence the regret manifesting as me.
I am to identify what accepted and allowed self-dishonest words/actions I expressed as me – apply self forgiveness and self corrective action, to not again accept or allow me to participate in such self-dishonest words/actions.
I am to identify what of my mother exactly within such a conflicting/confrontational event as her words/actions is reflecting me back to myself – which I act out towards her – to no more accept/allow myself to have to exist as and become actions/words that mirror my mother, for me to have to see what I am accepting and allowing.
I am to look at this accepted and allowed nature of me as blame, projection and justification – as that which I use/utilize to hide what I accept and allow myself to exist as – because this is unacceptable and must stop – and immediately stop myself when I see/notice I blame/project and justify and identify what such blame/justification and projection is revealing of/about myself that I am attempting to / trying to hide.
(NOTE: I’ll be returning to this section at the end of this Process we’re moving through now – to give an practical example of how this is done)
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 14)
7.
Written Words of Experience:
All our conversations end up going this route – starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off, blaming her for why I’m experiencing myself this way, that it’s her fault, she’s the problem in my life and that I’m the victim in it all.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the ‘all-knowing’ / ‘already knowing’ that conversations with my mother will end up going the exact same route of starting with confrontation/conflict, which ends up as us both screaming/yelling at each other and me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me, with me eventually running off.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already in the beginning of the conversation with my mother, exist in expectation of where it’ll eventually, inevitably lead to, because it happens/occurs/manifests exactly the same way always.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself during and after a confrontational/conflicting event/situation with my mother – to always react in emotional/feeling turmoil within, which I express/act out through yelling/screaming back which eventually, inevitably lead to me running off in tears of anger and frustration.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always, during a confrontational event/situation with my mother – when my mother starts expressing herself as I experience her as ‘authority’ and starts yelling/screaming – to immediately going into ‘reaction-mode’ within myself as emotional/feeling turmoil and start expressing exactly towards her, as she is towards me, because of what I’m experiencing within me, due to the immediate reaction that take place as the surge of emotions/feelings rise up within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame her for what I’m experiencing within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that she is the cause for what I’m experiencing within me, therefore me blaming her for what I’m experiencing within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience what I’m experiencing within myself as the surge of emotional/feeling turmoil, and me acting out in it through yelling/screaming as being her fault.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience her as being the problem in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as ‘being the victim’ within it all, because of the experience within me, that she is the cause of everything that I experience within me during such a confrontational/conflicting event with her.
Insight/Understanding/Realisation:
Questions:
What is being revealed of what I am accepting and allowing within me, with conversations between my mother and I, always going down the exact same route: Starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off?
What is being revealed of what I am accepting and allowing within me, through be experiencing myself as a ‘victim’ as thoughts of blame such as it’s her fault and that she’s the problem in my life manifest within me, directed towards her?
Question 1:
What is being revealed of what I am accepting and allowing within me, with conversations between my mother and I, always going down the exact same route: Starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off?
1. Within the conversations with my mother ALWAYS GOING DOWN THE EXACT SAME ROUTE, begs the question: Why am I accepting and allowing the conversations with my mother to always go into and end up the exact same way? Constantly continuing to accept and allow myself to exist as and express exactly the same, leaving us both experiencing ourselves exactly the same – resolving nothing, only intensifying the emotions and feelings between us both, hindering our ‘relationship’ with and towards each other extensively?
2. Therefore – I haven’t stopped myself from accepting and allowing myself to continue participating in the surge of emotions/feelings which eventually compound to the extent wherein I act out the surge through yelling and screaming and thus, I am self-responsible for the route the conversation with my mother goes and ending up in a fight, with me yelling and screaming and eventually running off.
3. I also notice that in the beginning of such conversations, I already anticipate where it’ll lead to and eventually end. Again, why am I not stopping myself from going into the exact same expressed actions? I already know before hand where it’s going to lead to and eventually end if I accept and allow myself to react in and participate in emotions/feelings within me?
4. I realize that I’m the one to take self-responsibility for me here and no more accept or allow myself to justify my actions through using me mother’s particular expression as a reason for why I’m accepting and allowing myself to express/act in a certain manner/way.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to ask myself the question of why I am accepting and allowing conversations with my mother to always go into and end up in the exact same why.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that I’m self responsible for constantly continuing to accept and allow myself to exist as and express exactly the same, leaving us both experiencing ourselves exactly the same.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize and see that such conversations with my mother within which I directly participate that always end up in a fight, resolve nothing and only worsens and intensifies the relationship between and towards myself and my mother.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see and realize the common sense within such conversations with my mother that always end up in a fight, compromising us both in the end – that within it always leading to and ending up in exactly the same way: Why am I not stopping if I already know/understanding where it’s going to lead to and eventually end up?
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that in essence, I have no right to become frustrated, angered and irritated within such conversations with my mother that always lead to and end up in and as the exact same way: Because I already anticipated where it’ll go – and still didn’t stop, but continued to exist as and express the exact same way I always do.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stop myself from accepting and allowing myself to react in emotions/feelings the moment I anticipated where the conversation with my mother would lead to and eventually end up.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to apply and live my self-responsibility of me towards me and my mother as me, from no more accepting and allowing myself to participate in that within me, which I know where it’ll eventually lead to and end, through no more accepting and allowing myself to justify my actions through what my mother is expressing towards me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blame as justification to hide my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty as direct participation in such conversations with my mother that always lead to and end up in the exact same way – through blaming her, to justify why I acted and expressed in certain specific manners/ways – when all the while it was all me, accepting and allowing myself to exist in and participate within accepted and allowed reactions of emotions/feelings of mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately participate in conversations with my mother from within a starting point reaction of a surge of emotions and feelings – and then still deliberately accept and allow myself to blame it all on her, when the truth of it all – is that I am self-responsible and I accepted and allowed my emotional/feeling participation within it all directly and this have no right to blame it all on her.
Question 2:
What is being revealed of what I am accepting and allowing within me, through be experiencing myself as a ‘victim’ as thoughts of blame such as it’s her fault and that she’s the problem in my life manifest within me, directed towards her?
5. I am creating myself to experience myself as the ‘victim’ through manifesting thoughts of blame towards her such as it being ‘her fault’ and that ‘she’s the problem in my life.’
6. Therefore, creating myself as the ‘victim’ through manifesting thoughts of blame towards my mother is self-dishonest and only accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself.
7. I have looked at the construct of blame: Me stating that SHE’S the fault and that SHE’S the problem in my life actually reflect within me, that it is ME that is mistaken and that I am my own ‘problem’ in my life as it is me that is directly self responsible for what I experience within me and my world and it is me that is the directive principle of me in my world.
8. Therefore, in me acting in deliberate self-dishonesty through creating myself to be the victim through manifesting thoughts of blame towards my mother – indicates me attempting to regain my composure through utilizing my mother as a point to exert out all of my suppressions – of not standing up and taking responsibility for me, but accepting and allowing myself to continue existing in deliberate self-dishonesty.
9. Thus, I’m using the creation of me as a victim through manifesting blame towards another – to continue existing in and as my self-defined dishonesty of ‘acting out in suppressed emotions/feelings’ to/towards another.
10. Therefore, in self honesty: I am not the victim, I am the accepted and allowed cause of such experienced with my mother as how it always end up – because of my direct accepted and allowed participation in always expressing/reacting towards her in the exact same way.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I am accepting and allowing myself within deliberate self-dishonesty – create myself to be a victim through deliberately manifesting thoughts of blame towards my mother such as she being the fault and the problem in my life.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I am only deceiving myself through accepting and allowing myself to create myself to be a ‘victim’ through manifesting deliberate thoughts of blame towards my mother as a deliberate accepted and allowed self-dishonest participated act of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to self-honestly realize that it is indeed not my mother’s fault and that she’s indeed not the problem in my life – but that I am the one that is mistaken, that is my own problem and that blame directed towards her – reflects what I am accepting and allowing of myself within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to self honestly see, realize and understand, that it is me that is self-responsible for what I experience within me and my world – no-one is the cause of me within myself – I accept and allow myself to exist as what I do and experience what I am within me and my world.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understanding that I am using my mother as a point to exert out all of my inner accepted and allowed suppressed emotions/feelings through in deliberate self-dishonesty, creating myself as a victim within manifesting thoughts of blame towards her – to hide my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of not taking self responsibility for me and stopping myself from accepting and allowing myself to participate in reactions of emotions/feelings within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I am using the creation of me as a victim through manifesting blame towards another – to continue existing in and as my self-defined dishonesty of ‘acting out in suppressed emotions/feelings’ to/towards another.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to be self-honest with regards to me actually really not being a victim in it all - I am the accepted and allowed cause of such experiences with my mother as how it always end up – because of my direct accepted and allowed participation in always expressing/reacting towards her in the exact same way
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and define me as ‘a victim’ through blaming what I accept and allow to exist within me, and of me towards another – to so in such a self-manipulation tactic, accept and allow myself to continue existing and hiding in accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of participation in reactions and acting in such reactions in always the exact same way.
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to take self responsibility for me, to no more accept or allow myself to always act out and express my suppressed emotions/feeling towards my mother in the exact same way; and also so stop accepting and allowing myself to utilize the creation of me as a victim through manifesting thoughts of blame towards her to hide and protect my accepted and allowed self-dishonest existence?
I’m able to stop the entire experience as conversation with my mother always leading to and ending up in and as the exact same way – through simply in the beginning of the conversation when I anticipate the conversation leading into and as the exact same route – stopping myself from accepting and allowing myself to react in emotions/feelings – and speak here only in and as self honesty, stable here as breath = NO ACCEPTED AND ALLOWED REACTION.
From here I stop every and all ‘play-outs’ from how it always ended up – through changing me within the beginning of such a conversation.
Therefore, to answer my own question with regards to why I haven’t stopped when I already knew/anticipated where the conversation will lead to and end – is because of me deliberately wanting to continue participating in my self-defined dishonesty of exerting my suppressed emotions/feelings out on my mother.
This is proved through me creating myself to be the victim through manifesting thoughts of blame towards her – when I know/understand that I’m self responsible for me and what I accept and allow to exist in me and experience within me and my world.
I am no more to accept/allow myself to create myself to be a victim through using thoughts of blame towards her – and take self-responsibility for my actions that I accept and allow to manifest as me through accepted and allowed continued participation in reactions existent of me as emotions/feelings.
Taking self responsibility through no more accepting/allowing myself to participate and act out in emotions/feeling reactions – because I know the consequences it manifests for both myself and my mother.
I will no more accept/allow myself to justify my actions through hiding behind creating myself a victim and blaming my mother – using her actions as a means to justify the ends and immediately stop myself when I realize/see I’m deliberately acting irresponsibly in self dishonesty through acting out in emotions/feelings of mind.
I have already noted to myself that I will be investigating the accepted and allowed suppressions that I accept and allow myself to exert unto my mother – to stop such accepted and allowed deliberate self-dishonest self deception.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stop myself immediately from participating in reactions of emotions/feelings when I already in the beginning of the conversation anticipate and can detect where it may lead to and eventually end.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to adhere to my own forewarning within myself, from the perspective that I can already see where the conversation will lead to and eventually end, because of my accepted and allowed participation will actually stop myself from accepting and allowing myself to respond towards her in the ways and manners I always have, which directly influence the outcome of the conversation.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that the reason for why I haven’t stopped myself from acting in and expressing the exact same way as I always have within such conversations with my mother that always end up in a fight – because I didn’t want to, as it support my accepted and allowed self-defined self dishonesty of exerting my suppressed emotions/feelings out on another.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that in me stopping myself in the beginning of the conversation from accepting and allowing myself to participate in self-dishonest suppressed emotions/feelings – I change me and thus have the directive self-responsible ability – to change the outcome and experience of both me and my mother.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that in me creating myself to be a victim through manifesting thoughts of blame towards my mother – proves to me that I haven’t wanted to stop the conversations with my mother ending up in a fight manifesting the consequential experiences in us both – because such fights support my accepted and allowed self-defined self-dishonest existence of wanting to exert out my suppressed emotions/feelings unto another.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to take self-responsibility for my accepted and allowed self-dishonest expressed actions in emotions and feelings, but resorted to wanting to blame another and deliberately creating me to be the victim – to hide the trust of me and continue existing in my self-defined self-dishonesty existence of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to take self-responsibility for my accepted and allowed actions in word and deed through stopping me and changing me, when I know what the consequences will be if I accept and allow myself to give into old habits.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 15)
8.
Written Words of Experience:
And when this happens, I know she’s won, because she got me to tears again.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother winning and me losing, because of me starting to cry within the surge of emotions/feelings that rise up within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother as ‘winning,’ because of me believing that she’s the cause, the problem of me crying, the emotional/feeling turmoil that rises up within me, and because of this – she’s ‘won,’ because I believe that ‘she’s the one that got me to tears.’
Insight/Understanding/Realisation:
Questions:
What is being revealed of what I am accepting and allowing within me through manifesting the thought, ‘I know SHE’S WON’?
What is being revealed of what I am accepting and allowing within me, through manifesting blame towards her of it being her fault that SHE’S got me to tears AGAIN?
Question 1:
What is being revealed of what I am accepting and allowing within me, through manifesting the thought ‘I know SHE’S WON’?
1. That I am accepting and allowing myself to exist in ‘competition’ as the polarity-construct of win and lose.
2. That I within and during the experience with my mother accepted and allowed myself to exist within ‘competition’ – as wanting to ‘win the fight.
3. Because I experienced within me I ‘lost,’ I ‘walked out of the conversation running off in tears,’ the thought manifested within me that ‘she’s won’ – implying within this, that ‘I lost.’
4. ‘A battle of who can scream and yell louder and ‘hurt’ the other more’ through acting out in suppressed emotions/feelings – is the essence of such conflicting/confrontational events that end up in a fight, deliberate self-abuse unto self and another as self – wherein the one or the other must ‘take the brunt of it all’ – as the polarity-play out of inferiority and superiority as win or lose take place.
5. The statement ‘I know SHE’S WON’ – also spoken within deliberate spite of anger, due to me accepting and allowing myself to blame all of me and what I experience within me, unto her.
6. This anger existing within me, that manifested the spiteful thought ‘I know she’s won’ directed towards my mother within blame – is due to me actually knowing/understanding that I in my self-dishonesty, did not succeed to manipulate the situation to ‘have it go my way’ as I ‘wanted the outcome to end up in’ – and thus experienced this as ‘me losing the fight.’
7. Therefore, I was angry – actually angry with myself towards myself, because I didn’t succeed to manipulate my mother or the situation to have it go the way I wanted it to, and in my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty, directed this anger of me towards her in blame through manifesting the spiteful thought of: I know she’s won.’ Doing this to continue hiding my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of attempting to and trying to manipulate another through acting out in reactions of emotions/feelings to have a situation play-out the way I want it to.
8. And because the situation did not play-out the way I wanted it to, within which I would’ve experienced myself being ‘satisfied’ with myself – I experienced the opposite of reacting in anger and hiding my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty through blame and spitefulness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as competition as the polarity-construct of win and lose.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within and during the conversation with my mother, participated within the starting point of competition as ‘wanting to with the fight.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest and define and within the definition exist as the construct of competition as win and lose, according to and as manifested outside experiences that take place in my world separate from me, such as having fights with my mother.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that within manifesting the thought ‘I know she’s won,’ I’m implying of myself that I have ‘lost.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘losing’ as me running off in tears and be the one that walk away in a surge of emotional/feeling reactions from a confrontation with my mother that turned into a fight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the accepted and allowed existence and definition of me as ‘competition’ within the construct of ‘win and lose.’ I believed that my mother is the one that ‘won,’ because I was the one that ran off in, perceiving myself to be the one that was ‘affected more’ because of the fight and therefore I was the one that ‘lost.’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that the ‘essence’ of such conflicting /confrontational events with my mother that always turn into and end up as a fight – exists as a ‘battle’ of who can scream and yell more vigorously and act out and act in their suppressed emotions/feelings exerted out unto another, to the utmost extent – to see who can ‘harm’ the other most.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that accepted and allowed participation from my part within such fights wherein I act out and act in my accepted and allowed self-dishonest emotional/feeling tantrums – is accepted and allowed self-abuse and abuse of another as me – as such events bring nothing but unnecessary compromise for both involved and is but an opportunity for me to support my accepted and allowed self-dishonest existence of abusing another as me – through using them as a means to exert out all of my accepted and allowed suppressions.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that such ‘fights’ with my mother is but the manifested accepted and allowed polarity-play out of inferiority and superiority as what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as – within the game played of competition as win or lose to which I have also accepted and allowed myself to define me as – wherein the polarity existence of superiority and inferiority of me – attempt to ‘battle it out’ within the game of competition as win or lose towards another as me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the statement manifested within me of ‘I know SHE’S WON’ was manifested from within the starting point of spite originating from anger within me – created through my accepted and allowed deliberate act of blaming all that I experience within me and my world unto her.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that the origin of the anger within me, from which I manifested the thought towards my mother in spitefulness through the construct of blame – is because of me not succeeding within manipulating my mother and the situation to have it turn out the way I wanted it to – meaning to win, and because I didn’t win, I experienced me ‘losing the fight’ which manifested the origin of anger within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger within me and direct this anger in spitefulness towards my mother through wanting to blame her, when all the while, the anger existent within me – was a tantrum I throw as an further attempt to manipulate, because I didn’t win the fight, because it didn’t go MY way, the I way I wanted it to go – to so satisfy my own accepted and allowed self-dishonest ego.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I deliberately react in anger within myself, manifesting this anger as blame directed towards my mother in spitefulness – to continue hiding my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of attempting to and trying to manipulate another through acting out in reactions of emotions/feelings to have a situation play-out the way I want it to.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that the deliberate action of me reacting in anger and hiding my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty through blame and spitefulness only because my attempt at manipulating the situation and my mother to have the event play-out the way I wanted it to- was an opposite-polarity manifestation of myself as how I would’ve experienced myself if I succeeded to manipulate my mother and the situation with it going the way I wanted it to - I would’ve experienced satisfaction, satisfying my self-dishonest ego of manipulation.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I would’ve experienced satisfaction if my attempt at manipulating my mother through reactive emotions and feelings and acting out in them succeeded, because I would’ve then ‘won the fight’ wherein she’d give into my accepted and allowed self-dishonest manipulation tactics.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that because I didn’t ‘win the fight’ – I was angry at myself, towards myself because my self-dishonest manipulation-tactics didn’t work – hence the frustration also manifesting within me – because I didn’t ‘get my way’ and the anger as blame and spitefulness directed towards her within me, because she didn’t ‘give in’ to my self-dishonest maneuvers.
Question 2:
What is being revealed of what I am accepting and allowing within me, through manifesting blame towards her of it being her fault that SHE’S got me to tears AGAIN?
9. Within the question already exist the response: Blame – this is but another manifestation of the exact same origin as accepted and allowed blame directed towards another as my mother as an attempt to hide the directive principle of me as taking self responsibility for what I am accepting and allowing to exist, create and manifest in me.
10. I realize and see in self honesty as me here – that it is indeed not my mother’s fault in bringing me to tears. I bring myself to tears through accepting and allowing myself to participate and continue participating in reactions of emotions/feelings that eventually compound and intensify to the extent wherein I act out in them through crying, yelling and screaming.
11. At the same time, I now see and understand, that I’ve been utilizing ‘crying’ as a manipulation tactic as an attempt to ‘sway my mother into giving into how I want the conversation to go to have it be the way I want it to be.’
12. Further, I understand that blame is but an attempt to hide and continue my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty, as for example, with me stating ‘that it’s her fault, that she’s got me to tears’ actually reflects back to me accepting and allowing myself to be the cause of why I am accepting and allowing myself to cry in the first place.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that in the questions I ask – already exists the response of the insight/understanding/realization – because in me having the ability to ask the question, actually implies that I already have the response as insight/understanding/realization.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that stating, ‘she got me to tears again’ is but another derivative of the exact same origin as the accepted and allowed definition of me as blame, in manifesting such blameful thoughts towards another, because of me not standing up in taking self-responsibility of the directive principle of me that is me here – but accepting and allowing myself to hide my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty through blame.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that I deliberately use blame as exerting accepted and allowed emotions/feelings existent within me unto another in my mind of thoughts – because of me not taking self-responsibility for what I am accepting and allowing to exist, create and manifest within me of me by me and me alone.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to self honestly recognize and see that it is not my mother that is the one bringing me to tears – I manifest me as crying through accepting and allowing myself to participate in reactions existent of me in me and continuing to accept and allow myself to participate in such reactions, which eventually, through my accepted and allowed continued participation compound to the extent wherein it manifest as crying.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to self honestly see, recognize and realize that I have been deliberately utilizing crying as a manipulation tactic as an attempt to ‘sway my mother into giving into how I want the conversation to go to have it be the way I want it to be.’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to self honestly see, realize and recognize that I then deliberate continue to participate in reactions existent within me of me to the point of manifesting it in the formed physical expression of crying – to deliberately utilize this as a method of manipulating another – to give into my manipulation-tactic through and as crying, yelling and screaming within reactions of compounded emotions/feelings.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I have been utilizing blame deliberately as an attempt to hide me from myself as my own accepted and allowed self-dishonesty – as blame actually reflects me back to myself directly, within for example me blaming my mother stating ‘it’s her fault, that she’s the one bringing me to tears’ – when all the while it is me that is the cause of how and why I am accepting and allowing myself to cry in the first place.
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to no more accept or allow myself to continue existing within competition of win or lose which only fuel the definition of me of mind as superiority/inferiority?
How am I to practically assist and support myself to no more accept or allow myself to continue using anger, blame and spitefulness to hide my own accepted and allowed self-dishonesty – and stand up and take self responsibility for me?
How am I to practically assist and support myself to no more accept or allow myself to use deliberate crying through deliberate participation in reactions surging up within me?
Question 1:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to no more accept or allow myself to continue existing within competition of win or lose which only fuel the definition of me of mind as superiority/inferiority?
Firstly, I specifically identify the origin of competition within me as the construct of win or lose and how this pertains to the self-definition of me as superiority and inferiority – to no more accept or allow myself to only initiate and participate within conversations with my mother created into a fight – because ‘I want to win and have it go my way.’ Utilizing the construct of competition to from this starting point – manipulates my mother to have her give into my indirectly stated demands.
(NOTE: I’ll be returning to this section at the end of this Process we’re moving through now – to give an practical example of how this is done)
Though for the moment, I will no more accept or allow myself to engage in a conversation with my mother from within a starting point of reaction of emotions and feelings, because I now understand that in accepting and allowing myself to act and react in a starting point of emotions/feelings towards my mother – is the method I use to initiate the ‘competition construct as the fight of win or lose’ and I will no more accept or allow myself to support such a self-dishonest existence of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stop myself from existing as competition as the construct of win or lose, but continued to accept and allow myself to exist as such a definition – and then still accept and allow myself to blame an event on another, when I was a direct participant in it all due to my accepted and allowed starting point of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize the ‘competition’ as the existence of me to which I have defined me within the polarity of win and lose, from within this starting point that is me – manipulate my mother and events to have it go the way I want it to and have my mother give in to my indirectly stated demands.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stop myself from accepting and allowing myself to engage in a conversation with my mother from within the starting point of me as reactions of emotions and feelings when I already before-hand know and understand, where it will lead to for both of us.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I deliberately use reactions of emotions and feelings towards my mother, to initiate the competition construct of win or lose within me, existent of me and as me to which I have defined myself – as an deliberate manipulation tactic to have events flow and turn out the way I want them to.
Question 2:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to no more accept or allow myself to continue using anger, blame and spitefulness to hide my own accepted and allowed self-dishonesty – and stand up and take self responsibility for me?
I have already looked at this particular point with regards to blame, in using blame as a means to hide my own accepted and allowed self dishonesty – that it is me bringing myself to tears and not my mother and that I am to return to this point to specifically investigate the construct of blame existent within me from within the starting point of anger. Wherein the anger is actually directed towards me – but hiding this through blame and spitefulness to continue existing in self dishonesty.
Though for the moment, I will no more accept or allow myself to blame or even participate in thoughts of blame through entering the self-dishonest act of spitefulness – because I know/understand that such blame is hiding a part/point of me that I project towards another – which is deliberate accepted and allowed self dishonesty – NO MORE!
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that this point of blame identified within the starting point of anger in utilizing spitefulness through stating that it is ‘my mother bringing me to tears’ – is but another derivative of the exact same starting point of blame that I use to hide my own accepted and allowed self dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue existing in blame through spitefulness within the starting point of exerting, through such a method, my anger of me towards me, unto another – instead of immediately stopping myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that I am supporting my own accepted and allowed self dishonesty through creating tactics and methods within the starting point of self dishonesty to ensure my accepted and allowed existence as self dishonesty to which I have defined me and continued to accept and allow myself to exist – self abusing and self compromising me here and others as me deliberately within this – to only look out for and gain my own self interests.
Question 3:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to no more accept or allow myself to use deliberate crying through deliberate participation in reactions surging up within me?
Simplicity: Simply no more accept or allow myself to from the starting point of the conversation react in emotions and feelings and simply not accept or allow myself to continue participating in emotions and feelings, but STOP IMMEDIATELY and assist and support me to slow down here as breath.
Because I now understand and realize that if I were to accept and allow myself to react and continue participating in such reactions in the beginning, during and/or after the conversation with my mother and want to start crying or even begin crying – I am existing as manipulation and will be obvious deliberate self deception within self dishonesty.
I will no more accept or allow myself to deceive myself or another through manipulation as the physical act of crying – and therefore simply not accept or allow myself to in the beginning, from the start participate in reactions or continue participating in reactions – I STOP IMMEDIATELY HERE.
I am to identify towards who, where, when and what I also use crying as manipulation – to stop this self-dishonest existence of me and for once stand up and take self responsibility in being the directive principle of me – and no more accept or allow myself to use manipulation and blame to hide my self dishonest existence.
(NOTE: I’ll be returning to this section at the end of this Process we’re moving through now – to give a practical example of how this is done)
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to live and apply the simplicity as the solution that is me of stopping a fight from ending up in the way it always does – through changing me as the starting point of me within engaging in a conversation with my mother – through simply stopping myself from accepting and allowing myself to participate in emotions/feelings as reaction existent within me and of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to IMMEDIATELY STOP the moment I experience reactions of emotions/feelings within me when I know where it’ll lead to if I continue to participate in them as compromising both me and my mother as me – but continued to accept and allow myself to exist as reactions – because of me deliberately wanting to continue existing in my self dishonest self definition of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that in accepting and allowing myself to react in emotions/feelings and continue participating within them, is deliberately self-deception unto me and towards my mother as me – because I utilize such a starting point to manipulate both her and me in self dishonesty – to only fend for my own self-interests of having a conversation go and end up the way I want it to.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 16)
‘Round-up’ Assessment:
Within the previous document God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 15), we concluded walking through practical example process of:
1. ‘Breaking down and Investigating’ a Jack-In-The-Box Memory.
2. Bringing the Memory through into your current experience of yourself now in your reality.
3. From here – finally identifying the ‘Behavioral-Conditioning’ as ‘habit’ that you still exist as to this day due to the Memory manifested as the physical, in the physical – through which you create specific circumstances that you then experience, based on the manifested definition of you as such a Memory.
4. Starting from the Memory itself by applying the Self Forgiveness Process to assist and support self to release the manifestations of the memory within and as your physical human body through sounding your self forgiveness as self expression here in self honesty – applying self forgiveness out loud in absolute realization of no more accepting or allowing self to exist as and of a manifested physical memory in separation of self here.
5. From here – moving unto the Self Forgiveness Process of Insight, Understanding, Realisation and also the Practical Corrective Action to be taken; placed and laid out before self, to take the final step in absolute specificity of actually living the change here in the physical as self that was placed and laid out before self in written word within the Process of identifying the Practical Corrective Action to be taken.
6. This done to merge the written word and living application of, as and through the physical as one as the manifestation of self here as the living word as the physical – the Process of self being one and equal with and as self here.
Therefore, we have walked through the entire process of ‘breaking down and investigating a Jack-In-The-Box Memory by applying Self Forgiveness to the Jack-In-The Box Memory, by bringing through the Memory into and as your current reality as what you now exist as and through the Questions and Responses Process within both Steps taken, walking through the Self Forgiveness, Insight, Understanding, and Realisation Process and also the Practical Corrective Action to be taken Process.
All this done, to identify the ‘behavioural-conditioning’ as ‘habit’ and your accepted and allowed existence as that ‘behavioural-conditioning’ as ‘habit’ as all that is involved of you within you to exist as such a ‘habit’ that you created, designed and manifested as you from an experience of the past as Memory that is manifest in and as the physical human body that is you.
Therefore, within this entire process we walked through from Section One (1) to Section Fifteen (15) was identifying the Behavioural-Conditioning as Habit – and identifying all else that is involved of you and within you by existing as Behavioural-Conditioned Habit.
At the same time, applying Self Forgiveness, walking through the Insight/Understanding/Realisation example Process to finally assist and support self to no more participate in or exist as such a Habit – and stop all else of self as the entire design of self and parts of self that played a role in creating, designing and manifesting self as such a Habit.
Herein is given a clear indication of how to ‘walk through and with yourself’ in investigating, determining and from here deduce how to practically assist and support you to change you as the ‘behavioural-conditioned habit’, together with all other constructs/systems involved, you’ve accepted and allowed yourself to exist as and become – to stand up and take self responsible, self directive principle as you here in the moment of breath.
Alright, as we moved through this Process of the Jack-In-The Box Memory – we identified ‘more parts of self’ that is involved within the manifested expression of self as the ‘behavioural-conditioning’ as ‘habit’ – the ‘parts of self’ that was identified and highlighted in blue/cyan.
Such ‘parts of self’ reveal personality-designed definitions of self. (We’ll explore such ‘parts of self’ within another part within this document to follow). Within which we’ll explore ‘personality-designs’ and the practical process to assist and support self to stop existing as such personality-designs – through utilizing the examples as the ‘parts of self’ highlighted within the Sections we’ve moved through recently already.
For the moment, we’ll conclude the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, within which I’ll go through each ‘practical corrective action to be taken’ part of the process we’ve walked through, within which we applied the insight/understanding/realization process of the self forgiveness process applied of the written word experience.
PRACTICAL CORRECTIVE APPLICATION ASSESSMENT:
What I will be doing is re-visiting each practical corrective action section of each written word experience section we explored, to assist and support you with what practical corrective application actually entails.
Though I suggest this to be done for self by self also – making a ‘list’ so to speak of all the practical corrective action statements expressed of the process we have just walked through – and to actually do it – not accepting or allowing postponement, procrastination or half measures.
As this point of writing down all the practical corrective action statements expressed, realized and understood and actually living them in self corrective change as you in the moment of facing such manifesting experiences again – is the absolute point where and how self trust is established and self honesty is lived. Or where and how you can influence yourself to such an extent – that trusting yourself becomes ever so more difficult and harder and self dishonesty is perpetuated further. This will occur only if you influence yourself by not assisting and supporting yourself in practical lived self corrective action in which you actually change – through living the words you speak as the statements you express, realize and understand – but accept or allow you to give into postponement, procrastination, half-measures, excuses, reasons and justifications of mind – which is all but methods and ways the mind utilize for you to give in and give up instead of standing up absolute here and transforming you.
Let’s begin walking through each Practical Corrective Action to be Taken section – taking each statement in each Practical Corrective Action to be Taken section and walking through how to actually live such statements in one’s world when faced again with such situations – to so assist an support self to actually change and transform self and at the same time realize the existence of self as self trust in self honesty through assisting and supporting self to actually practically live the statements realized as self practically effective in one’s world.
Section 1:
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to not accept or allow myself to again walk down the same road I’ve always walked, through immediately reacting, which leads to the inevitable experience of emotional/feeling turmoil which leads to the inevitable fight which leaves me experiencing myself not so comfortably?
Corrective Action Statement:
To assist and support myself here in and as breath and remain constant and stable in and as breath; as breath itself as me is constant and stable – and simply not accept or allow myself to immediately react to/towards my mother or give into the surge of emotional / feeling turmoil within me.
But breathe through the reaction if it dares to move and stop me here in self directiveness in the moment in and as breath from accepting and allowing the reaction to accumulate to emotional/feeling turmoil and no more accept or allow myself to be directed by emotions/feelings as reactive responses.
The self corrective action statement made here is to simply not accept or allow self to when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event (which in particular manifest towards (as in the example used)-your mother) – ‘gives in’ to emotions/feelings that suddenly/unexpectedly surge up.
The ‘not giving in to’ done through remaining here as breath – because in breath you have the ability to assist and support you to remain stable here and stop yourself from participating or ‘going into’ as ‘giving into’ the surge of emotions/feelings that rise up.
This ‘action’ of stopping self from ‘giving into’ the surge of emotions/feelings – is self-directiveness, I’m directing me to stop me from accepting and allowing me to give in to or participate in the surge of emotions/feelings – doing this, through supporting me here in and as breath.
This is the self corrective action to be applied practically when faced with a conflicting/confrontational event, based on the self corrective action statement made above:
Express self-directiveness, in the living action of stopping self from participating or giving into the surge of emotions/feelings – doing this, through assisting and supporting self to remain here in and as breath – because it is only when one is not here in and as breath, that one accept/allow emotions/feelings to ‘take over’ or ‘take control’ – because directiveness is abdicated towards what is experienced within as emotions/feelings and thus gives your power away to emotions/feelings to direct you, instead of self standing here as self directiveness and stopping self from accepting and allowing self to give into emotions/feelings that is not who you really are and only lead to consequential self compromise.
Therefore:
Expression:
Self Directiveness
Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Directiveness:
Stopping self from accepting and allowing self to give in to as participating in a surge of emotions/feelings.
Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Directiveness:
Remaining here in and as stability as breath.
Remaining here in and as breath – that assists and supports self to live self directive expression here as stopping self from accepting/allowing self to continue participation/giving into emotions/feelings.
This here above – is what is to be actually applied as self. The moment you experience yourself again in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event within your mother for example – to actually really do it – so that your living statement is a living action one and equal as you.
So, for all those that regularly experience conflicting/confrontational events/situations that have always ‘given in to’ the surge of emotions and feelings that rise up within you – suggested to assist and support yourself to apply this that has been discussed here.
Actually applying self corrective action as you here in the moment of breath, in the expression of self directiveness by stopping you from giving into an accepted and allowed habit of abdicating your directiveness and power to emotions/feelings, is but to stand up in a moment, take your power within you and direct you to stop yourself from giving into emotions/feelings through supporting you here in and as breath in the moment – remaining stable here.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 17)
Continuing with the Practical Corrective Application Assessment.
PRACTICAL CORRECTIVE APPLICATION ASSESSMENT:
Section 2: (As Discussed in Part Eight Section 10)
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to practically assist and support myself in the moment, to not accept or allow myself to direct blame towards another as an attempt to shift responsibility through an experience/thought that comes up inside myself to which I usually react that is directed to/towards the other?
Corrective Action Statement:
I will immediately assist and support myself in the moment to stop myself from continuing participating in the reaction that comes up inside of me related to the thought/belief/perception as ‘experience’ that comes up, that she’s not hearing me, not listening to me and not understanding me.
In this moment such a thought/belief/perception comes up – I will ‘slow down’ here in and as breath, stop myself slowly from accepting and allowing myself to continue participating in the reaction that comes up together with the experience/thought/belief/perception.
Because I understand that such a thought/belief/perception that comes up as ‘she’s not hearing me, not listening to me and not understanding me’ – reveals to me that I’m actually the one not hearing, understanding or listening to what she’s expressing here in the moment.
Therefore, within this understanding, realization and insight – I take self responsibility for me, stop the reaction through not participating in such an assumption/belief/perception and actually slow down here in and as breath and HEAR HERE as breath calmly and stable as breath that is me.
Thus, not accepting or allowing myself to follow perceptions/ideas/assumptions/beliefs that form towards another as blame – but actually hear the words that is being said and in common sense self honesty communicate what I see here in the moment as breath and not accepting/allowing myself to speak in/of reaction of mind, because I know already where that road ends – NO MORE!
The Self Corrective Action statement made here is to not accept or allow self to ‘give into’ the manifested ‘habit’ of continuing participation in an ‘belief/perception’ that comes up as ‘manifested thought-experience’ as ‘projection’ as ‘she’s (your mother) the one not listening or hearing or understanding you.
To assist and support yourself to no more accept or allow such a conditioned self-definition of continuing participation in such projected thought-manifestations – is to ‘slow down’ here in and as breath and simply self direct you here in the moment to actually stop yourself in the slowing down as breath from continuing participation in such projected thought-manifestations as ‘blame.’
This done in and as the starting point of self honesty as the self-realisation that the projected thought-manifestation of ‘she’s not hearing, listening or understanding’ as ‘blame directed towards her’ – reflects to you that you’re actually the one not giving her and you the opportunity to listen, hear or understand.
The living expressed action of this self-realised point of self honesty is taking self responsibility for self here in the moment. Taking self responsibility through stopping self from continuing participating in such projected thought-manifestations of blame and unconditionally hear here in and as breath through you assisting and supporting you to stabilize you here as breath.
The living expression of you in self honesty as the action taken as self responsibility is to within the stopping actually change/transform self to hear what is being expressed by/through your mother (for example) – without judgment, ridicule, preconceived ideas/perceptions through hearing here in and as breath and from this moment – speak in clarity and stability without reactions of thought or emotional/feeling experiences and so direct self here in and as the moment – and not be directed, influenced by/through thoughts/emotions/feelings which only always lead down the road to the exact same end.
The statement was made of NO MORE – now to actually really live this statement and actually really in the moment such an event occur both within and without – to stop self and change/transform practically in the moment here within taking the action self responsibility in the expression of self as self honesty within self corrective action.
Expression:
Self Responsibility in Self Honesty
Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Responsibility:
To practically stop here in the moment from accepting and allowing self to continue participation in manifested thought-projections of blame such as ‘she’s the one not hearing, listening or understanding.’ This stopping is taking self responsibility in self honesty – because of the self honest self realization that this indicates that self is actually the one not hearing, listening or understanding.
Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Responsibility:
Slowing down here in and as breath. For it is in the slowing down – that you stabilize yourself to stop such a habit and unconditionally self correct self here in the moment to hear and speak within a self honest starting point of no reaction.
NOTE: Understand that I am moving with you through the Practical Corrective Action Statement again for a ‘fuller perspective’ of what practical corrective action actually entails and the specificity and detail involved that I walk you through within the Expression; Practical Living Action of Expression and Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression sections as a ‘final assessment’ from which to stand to assist and support you to in actuality – as you face similar situations and experience yourself in such ways again – to change and transform you in the moment through actually going out there and changing you in the moment here.
Therefore:
The first step I’ll be moving through with you – is going into a ‘descriptive fuller-perspective’ of the self corrective action statement made.
Then the second step to the specificity and detail ‘rounding off’ of the self corrective action statement – through:
1. Identifying the expression specifically,
2. Then going into the detail of how to practically live the expression in action in the moment,
3. And from there the practical self assistance and self support to live the expression in action practically here in the physical as you.
This done to give you a practical example of how to assist and support yourself to practically ‘pull yourself through’ from living the self corrective statements made – establishing self honesty in self trust for you yourself in manifesting you as the living word.
The examples presented will assist and support yourself in your process effectively, for you, by you, here in self honesty – to stop existing in separation of you that manifests consequential compromise for both you and another, but to live here in self honest self expression as who you really are and experience the actual transformation and change of you here through applying this practically one and equal as you in the moment when faced with such situations and stop walking down the exact same road to the exact same end over and over and over again ad nauseam.
And to within the examples presented – assist and support you to live the examples given, for and as you to assist and support you, yourself in your process effectively and not just to read and follow what is being expressed within these documents. But to assist and support you to practically apply them for you by you here in self honesty – to stop existing in separation of you that manifest consequential compromise for both you and another, but to live here in self honest self expression as who you really are and experience the actual transformation and change of you here through applying this practically one and equal as you in the moment when faced with such situations and stop walking down the exact same road to the exact same end over and over and over again ad nauseam.
For example: When faced with a conflicting/confrontational event with a being in your world and you experience manifested thought-projections rising with you such as ‘he/she is not understanding/listening/hearing me’ that consists of and exists as the construct of blame – apply what has been discussed within this document, by taking self responsibility in self honesty, stopping yourself from further participating in such thoughts of blame with the reactions that arise within you and supporting and assisting yourself in this stopping through slowing down here in and as breath – until you’re clear and stable and actually unconditionally hear here and change/transform you practically in such a moment to not speak/express within the starting point of reaction.
We’ll continue with Section 3 within the next document.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 18 )
Continuing with the Practical Corrective Application Assessment.
PRACTICAL CORRECTIVE APPLICATION ASSESSMENT:
What you’ll notice as I’m moving with you through each Practical Corrective Action Statement within giving a ‘descriptive perspective’ and from here moving to the specificity and detail of how to practically assist and support you to actually live the Practical Corrective Action Statement – that each ‘experience’ that manifests within you as for example, reactive emotions/feelings and thoughts – is able to be transformed into ‘gifts.’ Reversing ‘consequence’ to self responsible self directiveness as self expression here in self honesty.
As discussed within the previous document for example, wherein a thought of blame manifests and directed towards another such as, ‘she’s not hearing/listening/understanding me’ – revealing a ‘part of self’ denied/hidden/suppressed being reflected towards self in the manifestation of such a thought-experience as it actually showing that self is the one not hearing/listening/understanding.
Transforming such a reaction within self into a ‘gift’ – is through changing/transforming self from no more accepting/allowing self to deny/suppress/resist such a ‘part of self’ revealed within for example, such a thought of blame by continuing to exist within the accepted and allowed self dishonesty as ‘blame,’ but to self correct here in the moment immediately to for example, actually hear/listen/understand unconditionally – changing/transforming self here in self honesty in the moment, through transforming a consequence as the manifested thought of blame towards another, which only reflects a part of self back to self – into a self responsible, self directive expression here.
Therefore, I’d suggest not judge reactions as manifested emotions/feelings or thoughts/memories – as they are opportunities to assist and support self to see/realize what ‘parts of self’ exists in separation of self that is being reflected of self in such reactions – and transform them into ‘gifts’ through actually changing/transforming self from accepting/allowing self to exist in reactions in separation that only manifest consequence both within and without – to actual practical living here in self honesty; the process of amalgamating self with self here in self honesty to stand equal and one with self as all.
So, see reactions as ‘how can I assist and support me to change/transform me through utilizing such reactions that is reflecting a part of me from which I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from; to stand equal and one with me here as all in self honesty and to actually live and no more be subject to, influenced by or directed through manifested consequences proliferated by/through reactions.’
Also – I’m walking with you in giving practical examples of how to practically live words as we move through the Expression; the Practical Living Action of Expression and Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression.
The Expression is a ‘living word’ and the Practical Living Action of Expression and Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression incorporates how to practically assist and support you to be and manifest you as that living word.
From here – it’s all up to you, to assist and support you to for yourself, to actually live words practically through changing/transforming you in self honesty in moments as you participate in this world.
NOTE: As I have mentioned in God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 17), I’ll be moving with you through the ‘coloured-sections’ marked in blue (cyan) within a different Part within this document together with practical examples as they signify ‘personality-designs’ of mind, which are other constructs/manifestations of self, and how to assist and support self to stop existing as such separate manifested designs. Therefore – these ‘coloured-sections’ will be excluded as we continue – as at the moment, we’re only focusing on the ‘practical corrective action statements’ and how to practically assist and support you to take the written word as statements into and as the living word as self here.
Let’s continue:
Section 3: (As Discussed in Part Eight Section 11)
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I going to practically assist and support me, to no more accept and allow myself to take my mother’s expression towards me personally, which manifest the entire mind-belief/perception/assumption/idea of her attacking me, making it my fault as though I’m the problem, within which I react in emotional/feeling turmoil even further – leading us both down the same road of a fight?
Corrective Action Statement:
1. Firstly, in the moment I accept and allow myself to react towards my mother – I stop, I breathe and assist and support me to stabilize me here in and as breath. Because I know then, that this reaction within me, is indicating that I’m taking her expression towards me personally.
2. The moment that idea/belief comes up within me, that she’s making it my fault as though I’m the problem, experiencing it as though her attacking me. I know I’ve gone too far and accepted and allowed myself to participate in my reactive emotions/feelings, so I immediately stop, breathe and not accept/allow myself to continue participating.
3. The moment I continue trying/attempting to push harder and harder – I know I’m accepting and allowing myself to go into defense-mode. I’ve again accepted and allowed myself to go too far! I stop myself from continuing to want to push harder and harder I breathe here and I HEAR.
1. In the moment I accept and allow myself to react towards my mother – I stop, I breathe and assist and support myself to stabilize me here in and as breath. Because I know then, that this reaction within me, is indicating that I’m taking her expression towards me personally.
The Self Corrective Action Statement made here is to immediately assist and support self to stop participating in a reactive movement that arise within self. This lived action as assisting and supporting self to immediately stop the moment a reaction as movement within self is experienced – is done within the self honest self-realisation that such a movement within self as reaction indicate that the other’s particular expression towards you is being taken personally.
And it is from within the reaction ignited within self due to taking another’s expression towards you personally, that the belief manifest that‘something is being done unto you’ – when all the while it is the other exerting their inner suppressed manifested reactions out on you.
And if you accept or allow yourself to believe ‘something is being done unto you’, such a belief manifesting the experience of ‘taking their expression towards you by another personally’ and accepting and allowing you to continue participating in such reaction, you’re ‘throwing the ball back to the other’ and mirroring the other exactly – through also exerting your manifested suppressed emotions/feelings out on them – initiating the game wherein both equally participate in exerting each other’s manifested suppressed emotions/feelings out onto each other. The conflicting/confrontational event merely a ‘manifested opportunity’ for both to ‘unleash’ the compounded manifested suppressed emotions/feelings existent within each – unto each other – only manifesting the consequential outflow of events that compromise both.
Hence it is to assist and support self to simply from the ‘start’ STOP SELF from accepting and allowing self to participate in reactive movements that rise up – as this is an indication of taking what the other is expressing in mannerism/behaviour/word/deed personally and will only initiate the manifested experience of confrontation/conflict – ending up and leading to a fight as it always does, which serves no ‘purpose’ but to ‘lash out’ on each other – manifested suppressed compounded emotions/feelings which are exerted out onto/towards each other, compromising both.
Therefore, the living expression of taking self responsibility and not accept or allow self to ‘participate in playing the game of exerting out manifested suppressed emotions/feelings out onto another deliberately’ – but to be self directive here in the moment and take on the moment/situation in self honest common sense without reactions.
2. The moment that idea/belief comes up within me, that she’s making it my fault as though I’m the problem, experiencing it as though her attacking me – I know I’ve gone too far and accepted and allowed myself to participate in my reactive emotions/feelings – I immediately stop, breathe and not accept/allow myself to continue participating.
The moment the ‘sudden reaction’ towards another’s particular expression towards you manifest as a thought as ‘she’s making it my fault as though I’m the problem, she’s attacking me’: is an indication of taking another’s expression ‘personally’ and that a reaction that arose within self suddenly already manifesting as a thought – indicates that you’ve already ‘gone too far.’ Meaning, that you already accepted and allowed yourself to actually believe that ‘something is being done unto you’ through reacting towards another by taking their expression towards you personally and confirming this belief unto yourself through wanting to validate to you that what you’re experiencing within yourself is ‘true/real’ – through manifesting deliberately such thoughts towards another.
Therefore, the thought-manifestation of for example, ‘she’s making it my fault as though I’m the problem, she’s attacking me’ – is a self-created confirmation-tactic as an attempt to ‘want to make your reaction towards another as the act of taking their expression towards you personally’ – real and valid, or ‘okay and normal’ – which gives you the opportunity to participate in your accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of exerting your accepted and allowed manifested compounded suppressed emotions/feelings out onto another.
Such thought-manifestations as for example ‘she’s making it my fault as though I’m the problem, she’s attacking me’ – is self dishonest, because she’s not ‘making it your fault, making you the problem or attacking you’ – this is a perception as thought manifested in self by self, because of taking another’s expression unto you ‘personally’ as the ‘belief’ that something is being done unto you – when it’s the expression of the other has nothing to do with you – it’s their accepted and allowed manifested suppressions coming out exerted unto you.
So, the moment such manifested thought-perceptions as for example: ‘she’s making it my fault as though I’m the problem, she’s attacking me’ manifest, know that you’re accepting and allowing yourself to participate in deliberate self dishonesty as it indicates you’ve taken the other’s expression towards you personally through reacting within you towards them – and utilizing such thoughts to validate your self-dishonest expression of also wanting to use/abuse the other through exerting your manifested suppressed emotions/feelings out on them.
And within this realization – to assist and support self in self honesty stop such thought-manifestations in the moment together with the reaction of taking the other’s expression towards you personally that fuelled the creation of such thoughts.
This done because you know if you accept and allow yourself to continue, you’re deliberately deceiving yourself in accepted and allowed self dishonesty and participating in ‘playing the game of initiating the conflicting/confrontational event – directly involved in the creation of such an event through accepting and allowing yourself to continue participation in such self dishonest manifested expressions of self.
3. The moment I continue trying/attempting to push harder and harder – I know I’m accepting and allowing myself to go into defense-mode – I’ve again accepted and allowed myself to go too far – I stop myself from continuing to want to push harder and harder I breathe here and I HEAR.
The accepted and allowed reaction of ‘pushing harder and harder’ to ‘want to bring across YOUR VIEW’ is the ‘effect’ manifesting as ‘going into defense-mode’ due to the ‘cause’ that is the source of you accepting/allowing you to take the other’s expression towards you ‘personally’ – instead of realizing that their particular expression towards has got nothing to do with ‘you personally.’
This indicating that you’re accepting and allowing yourself to be driven, influenced and directed by the polarity-force construct as ‘cause and effect’ in separation of you as a ‘chain-reaction’ that is unleashed within you that you ‘fall into and follow’ – leading you deeper and deeper into the mind instead of being here in self honest stable self directive common sense one and equal here.
Therefore, the moment you experience that you’re ‘pushing harder and harder’ to WANT TO bring across YOUR point of view – indicates that you’re not here hearing, but have fallen into the manifested polarity force of/as ‘cause and effect’ and falling into the ‘domino-effect’ – going in deeper and deeper into the mind as one reaction activate another and another and another which will only lead to the inevitable explosion of reactions within self towards another – with no other outcome but the exact same outcome as a conflicting/confrontational event manifesting into and as a fight.
Therefore, it is to immediately take self directive self responsibility in self honesty here, to immediately stop the moment you experience yourself fueling the reactions within you through pushing and forcing your point of view unto another – as this indicate you going into defense-mode as effect of your accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of reacting towards another’s expression in taking it personally as cause, from which thought-manifestations of blame/belief is projected unto another – which leads to the compounding of reactive emotions/feelings in and as self – perpetuating the event into a fight.
Realise, that when such thoughts as for example, ‘she’s making it my fault as though I’m the problem, she’s attacking me’ manifest, and/or you going into ‘defense-mode’ through pushing harder and harder fueling your reactions within you – know that you’ve ‘gone too far’ and already accepted and allowed yourself to not stop in the beginning of the event from accepting and allowing yourself to participate in the manifested reactions towards another.
To stop such a domino-effect as polarity-force system of cause and effect which only lead you further and further into the mind – manifesting the consequential inevitable experience of a fight – is to stop right from the start and remain calm here in and as breath: no reaction.
So, here also:
When a reaction is experienced towards another as taking another’s expression towards you personally:
Expression:
Self Responsibility in Self Honesty
Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Responsibility:
To practically stop here in the moment from accepting and allowing self to continue participation in a sudden reaction towards another that indicates you taking their expression towards you personally – because you know/understand and have realized, that if you do not stop – it’ll ‘set off’ the ‘domino-effect’ leading you further into the mind, fueling emotions/feelings further – creating, through your direct participation – this event to manifest into a fight and is able to be stopped by you taking self directive principle in stopping immediately in the moment when a reaction suddenly arise and simply refuse to continue participating in it.
Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Responsibility:
Breathing through the reaction – being here as breath and continue focusing on breath as you and in breath stop the fueling of the reaction within you through not accepting or allowing yourself to speak until you’re stable here – ensuring for you as you, that you’re not speaking in and as the compounded participation of emotions/feelings, but in self directive clarity.
When you’ve ‘gone too far’ and your participation in the reaction in the beginning manifested as thoughts which caused the effect of going into ‘defense-mode’ – to within realizing/seeing that you’ve ‘gone too far’ as you see/realize that thoughts of blame manifesting and/or you’re going into manifested defense mode – suggested to assist and support you as follows:
Expression:
Self Discipline in Self Honesty Here
Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Discipline:
To live/apply self discipline practically in the moment through immediately stopping such thoughts and/or stopping yourself from continuing to ‘want to push’ – because you’re only existing as/within such thoughts / physical reactions as ‘wanting to push/force your point of view’ because of you accepting/allowing the reaction in the beginning to compound instead of stopping yourself.
Self Honest Self Discipline here would be to immediately stop yourself the moment you recognize you’re accepting/allowing you to participate in such thoughts/physical expressed reactions. Stand up in the moment and simply not continue.
Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Discipline:
Stopping through taking a deep breath here – stabilizing yourself. In this stability, stop the accepted and allowed continued of participation in such thoughts/physical expressed reactions.
- – –
Daily Interdimensional Diary: 13 November 2008 God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 19)
Continuing with the Practical Corrective Application Assessment.
PRACTICAL CORRECTIVE APPLICATION ASSESSMENT:
Section 4: (As Discussed in Part Eight Section 12)
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How am I to practically assist and support myself to not accept or allow myself to continue the existence of me as inferiority, which only manifest the ‘polarity-game-playout’ in conflicting/confrontational experiences with my mother for example, which only always end up with us both in a fight in a turmoil of emotions and feelings.
Corrective Action Statement:
The moment I experience within me, that my mother is ‘manifesting her authority over and of me,’ and I accept and allow myself to react towards her. I know that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in inferiority within me, projecting the polarity opposite of what I am participating within me as inferiority, towards her as superiority/authority.
The moment, the justification within me exists of me experiencing my mother ‘claiming her to be right and be to be wrong,’ and the experience of me as ‘being stupid/nothing’ overwhelm me.
I know that this is self-dishonest, because I am using this as an excuse to want to defend my accepted and allowed existence of inferiority and at the same time, my refusal to see that my mother is reflecting me to myself as the part of me as superiority/authority that I exist as towards others in my world.
Note:
Within Section 4, most of the corrective action statements consisted of ‘personality-designs’ as ‘parts of self’ that is to be investigated further – which I have mentioned we’ll be discussing within another part within this document.
Therefore, within this section in exploring self corrective action to be applied – is to how to practically assist and support self to when noticing/seeing a ‘personality-design’ emerge – how to ‘in the moment stop’ to not ‘go into it’ to ‘reactivate’ an ‘personality-design.’
Though realize, this is not the ‘solution’ – but a ‘temporary-momentary’ self assistance and support method – to from here, investigate the origin/cause of the ‘emergence’ of the personality-design’ within and as you – from the cause/origin stop the existence of you as such a ‘personality-design.’
Here, the ‘personality-design’ to be investigated further as discussed within Part Eight Section 12 is the ‘polarity accepted and allowed existence’ of ‘inferiority-superiority.’
How to assist and support self within a ‘temporary-momentary’ self corrective action expression when you see/realize/notice you’re accepting and allowing yourself to participate / reactivate a ‘personality-design’ such as accepted and allowed ‘inferiority?’
Within the first statement made here above, the insight/understanding/realization exists that when a thought manifests within you towards your mother for example such as: ‘SHE’S manifesting HER AUTHORITY over/of me’ and you accept and allow yourself to react within you towards her perceived expression towards you: You know that the thought indicates that you’re accepting and allowing yourself to participate in inferiority, projecting the polarity opposite of what you’re participating within you as inferiority, towards her as superiority/authority within the manifestation of the thought: ‘SHE’S manifesting HER AUTHORITY over/of me’.
Also, this indicates – by the very accepted and allowed reaction within you towards her perceived ‘authoritative / superior’ stance over and of you – that she’s reflecting a ‘part of you’ as ‘authoritative / superior’ that you ‘act out / exert’ towards others – exactly as your mother is expressing towards you.
This reaction due to your accepted and allowed self-defined existence as ‘inferior’ as your experience towards your mother that manifest as a ‘polarity opposite projected thought’ towards her as well as your reaction towards her indicating that she’s reflecting a ‘part of you’ back to you, and we’ll discuss further within the ‘personality-designs’ Part within this document.
For the moment, to assist and support yourself practically within the ‘temporary-momentary’ self corrective action – is to when a thought manifests within you of: ‘SHE’S manifesting HER AUTHORITY over/of me’ – you now know/understand/realize that this immediately indicate that this is but a perception manifesting within you – due to you accepting and allowing yourself to experience inferiority towards her.
If you were to accept/allow yourself to ‘follow the thought’ – your reactions within you will only culminate – so, the moment such a thought manifest, you stop it within you by simply ‘stating out loud within yourself’ STOP or DELETE and breathe in and breathe out until the reactions within you subside.
Or when the reactions still continue – simply state to your mother for example: ‘Let’s continue this conversation in a moment, I’m very reactive within me and I would prefer having this conversation with me being stable and clear within myself, instead of speaking from within all sorts of reactions that are coming up inside of me.’
The same goes for the moment you accept or allow yourself to experience reactions within you towards your mother’s particular expression towards you – you now know/understand/realize that such an immediate reaction indicate that she, in her particular specific expression is reflecting a ‘part of you’ which you also exists as and acts out / exert towards others - hence the reaction.
Herein, in the moment of such a reaction – it is to practically assist and support yourself to not accept or allow yourself to ‘continue participation’ in such an immediate reaction – but to stop yourself here in and as breath from further proliferating such a reaction within you, through simply stopping yourself from continuing participation in such a reaction.
If it’s necessary, close your eyes for a moment and breathe – a deep breath in and a deep breath out, in the out-breath, literally letting go and releasing the ‘immediate-reaction’ that manifested within you towards your mother.
The ‘temporary-momentary’ self assistance and support self corrective action to be taken here is:
Expression:
Self Discipline within Self Honest Self-Resolve
Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Discipline within Self Honest Self-Resolve:
To immediately stop within self the moment a thought manifests of: ‘SHE’S manifesting HER AUTHORITY over/of me’ – as in self honest, self realization – this indicates accepted and allowed ‘reactivation’ / ‘participation’ within a personality-design as ‘inferiority’ and continued participation in such a thought fuelling / perpetuating reactions is accepted and allowed self deception.
To immediately stop within self the moment an immediate reaction is experienced towards your mother, as in self honest self realization – this indicates that she’s reflecting a part of you back to yourself, hence the reaction. And continued accepted and allowed participation / proliferation of such a reaction and continuing to express/speak in and as such a reaction is accepted and allowed self-dishonesty.
Within both ‘points’ – self disciplined self resolve is to be lived to practically STOP and simply not continuing in ‘following the thought believing it to be valid’ and simply not continuing in participating / compounding the immediate reaction experienced – because continuation imply deliberate self-validation of a personality-design to which self has defined self, instead of being, living self honesty through stopping.
Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Discipline within Self Honest Self-Resolve:
Stopping the thought in the moment through stating within self: STOP! Or DELETE!.
Stopping the reaction in the moment within and as breath, through taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out, within the out breath, unconditionally releasing and letting go of the immediate reaction experienced to ensure that it doesn’t compound/culminate within and as self – as this would initiate the conflict/confrontation to lead to / end up into and as the inevitable fight.
As I have mentioned before, if/when the thoughts and reactions continue to proliferate – suggested to end the conversation, to continue the conversation another moment – to first assist and support self to slow down here in and as breath to not accept or allow self to continue acting within reactive emotions, feelings and thoughts as accepted and allowed self dishonesty. But rather return to the moment when self is stable, certain here in and as breath.
Understand, as I have mentioned, the ‘temporary-momentary’ self corrective-action to be lived is to when you see/notice you for example ‘going into’ or ‘reactivating’ a ‘personality-design’ such as inferiority through manifesting a thought of: ‘SHE’S manifesting HER AUTHORITY over/of me’ or immediately reacting towards your mother’s (for example) particular expression towards you.
Because within you for example, reactivating through manifesting such a thought or reaction within you: Alarm – because this indicates that you haven’t yet ‘resolved’ or ‘directed’ you within such accepted and allowed manifested reactions self honestly and such reactions are simply revealing/showing you this.
Therefore, it is to apply/live the ‘temporary-momentary’ self corrective action application with regards to ‘personality-designs’ that emerge – and to from here practically assist and support yourself to identify/investigate such ‘personality-designs’ and the origin of them – to once and for all cease the existence of you as such ‘personality-designs.’
Hence the reason why it is referred to as ‘temporary-momentary’ self corrective action applications – as from here – it is to identify/originate the origin/source/cause of the existence of you as such ‘personality-designs’ – to once and for all stop existing as such ‘personality-designs.’
Therefore also why such ‘temporary-momentary’ self corrective action applications with regards to ‘personality-designs’ such as inferiority are not the solution – reactions and thoughts will only continue and proliferate if you don’t direct you and resolve the actual point that is the manifested cause/origin/source of you accepting/allowing yourself to exist as/within such a ‘personality-design.’
Therefore me emphasizing the point with regards to ‘temporary-momentary’ self corrective action applications not being the solution – but only a practical method with which to assist and support you when you see/notice/realize you going into a personality-design such as inferiority to not continue participation in such a personality-design as inferiority. Not to ‘abuse’ such ‘temporary-momentary’ self corrective action applications as a means to procrastinate or postpone you assisting and supporting yourself to identify the origin/cause of such personality-designs as inferiority.
- – –
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 20)
Continuing with the Practical Corrective Application Assessment.
PRACTICAL CORRECTIVE APPLICATION ASSESSMENT:
Section 5: (As Discussed in Part Eight Section 12)
Practical Corrective Action to be taken:
Question:
How to practically assist and support myself to not accept or allow myself to ‘go into’ a manifested protection-mechanism of myself from within fear – which causes emotions/feeling to culminate within me and my actions/expression towards my mother in a conflicting/confrontational event – which only always lead down the exact same road to the exact same end?
Corrective Action Statement:
Statement 1:
When I see that I am wanting to push/force my point of view even further as I experience my emotions/feeling compounding within myself – I stop myself immediately from continuing to want to force/push my point of view – as I see in this moment that this is accepted and allowed self-dishonesty, because all I’m doing is defending myself from not wanting to admit that I may be mistaken, when I see that I could actually be mistaken.
Statement 2:
This action of me wanting to push/force only MY view also indicating to me that I’m not HEARING HERE – therefore I immediately slow down here in and as breath, stop participating in the emotions/feelings rising up within me that I use to want to force/push MY point of view and unconditionally hear here as breath, what my mother is saying – and respond in common sense self stability here as breath = NO REACTION.
Statement 3:
When I experience within me, that I am further accepting and allowing my emotions/feelings to compound within me, because of my experience towards my mother’s particular physical expressions in word and deed: I know that I am accepting and allowing myself to react in fear.
I immediately stop the moment I recognize this – because I know the fear that I am existing of/within is projecting her to be a ‘threat’ – when all the while it is me, reacting in accepted and allowed fear towards her.
Statement 1:
When I see that I am wanting to push/force my point of view even further as I experience my emotions/feeling compounding within myself – I stop myself immediately from continuing to want to force/push my point of view – as I see in this moment that this is accepted and allowed self-dishonesty, because all I’m doing is defending myself from not wanting to admit that I may be mistaken, when I see that I could actually be mistaken.
Here is an interesting example with regards to how deliberancy (the act of being deliberate) operates:
That one must deliberately ‘compound’ emotions and feelings within you, through deliberately participating within them – to ‘bring about a force’ of emotional/feeling ‘charge’ that support/initiate the action of ‘pushing/forcing YOUR point of view.’
This deliberately-compounded energetic-charge, support you being able to continue pushing your point of view within self-dishonesty – even though you are aware within you that you may actually be mistaken – but refuse to recognize this, refuse to consider this or look at this – as it may ‘harm your EGO’, within the belief that if you were to be self honest in recognizing and admitting to yourself that you may be mistaken and stop – that you’ll ‘lose something,’ be seen as ‘weak’ in your own eyes = which is ridiculous.
Therefore, in this ‘fight to be right’ – you have the deliberate compounding of emotional/feeling energy as your ‘weapon’ and the very act of forcing your point of view as your ‘defense’ – to ‘defend’ your EGO to not have to ‘recognize/see/look at’ the fact that you know that you actually may be mistaken and that you probably are – but will continue within this fight to be right’ – to ‘protect your EGO-self-image’ and win the ‘conflict-battle’ – just to ‘be right,’ even though you actually are indeed mistaken.
Such deliberate ‘reactive-behavioural-habits’ will require specific self-discipline to stop in the moment – as such deliberate actions in self-dishonesty has become so much ‘part of’ beings that they express it as ‘ordinary’ that it has become ‘automatic’ = ‘automated programmed robotic behaviour.’
So, the self corrective action statement made above in ‘Statement 1’ is to assist and support self to in the moment immediately stop yourself, the moment you realize that you’re compounding your emotional/feeling energy, you’re raising your voice and expressing the self-dishonest action of ‘forcing YOUR point of view.’
The action of ‘forcing your point of view’ manifesting as an ‘reactive-expression’ of you; because you know that you could be mistaken and all that you’re doing is attempting to defend your EGO through not wanting to stop for a moment and admit that you may be mistaken – but will continue within the ‘fight to be right’ of EGO/self-interest, compromising yourself and the other.
Thus indicating you’re in separation of self-interest and not standing one and equal as the moment with the other being and cannot possibly trust the words you speak due to the origin of the words being that of emotional/feeling energy of mind and thus must know you’re speaking/acting in accepted and allowed self-dishonesty as mind.
Observe yourself when within a conflicting situation clearly, definitively – to be able to make a clear, definitive stand when you realize/see that you’re accepting and allowing yourself to participate and act within self-dishonesty as mind as emotions/feelings and thoughts – to within this stand – stop yourself.
Conflicting situations with another are opportunities to see for yourself where you stand with yourself within your process with regards to acceptances and allowances from the perspective of seeing for yourself clearly and definitively, for example - what you’re still accepting and allowing yourself to ‘give into’ within yourself – meaning, what thoughts you still ‘fall into,’ what emotions and feelings you still fall into – instead of stopping you from immediately accepting/allowing you to participate in them.
So – within a conflicting situation – a unpredictable moment – you see the truth of you with regards to where you stand with you in your process – together with the specifics of for example, what within yourself – you have or haven’t yet transcended, considered, resisted or denied.
So,
When you see yourself deliberately initiating ‘defense-mode’ through initiating particular emotions/feelings to support your self-interest in wanting to force your point of view to ‘want to be right’:
Expression:
Self-Responsibility to apply the living action of STOPPING SELF
Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Responsibility to STOP SELF
To immediately in the moment stop yourself when you recognize/see yourself accepting and allowing yourself going into ‘defense-mode’ which is shown within your actions within yourself within the acceptance and allowance of participating in the initiating of emotions and feelings that you use to support your ‘living-action’ of self-interest as pushing/forcing YOUR point of view.
This manifested experience you become as ‘defense-mode’ – immediately indicating that within yourself you know that what you’re accepting/allowing yourself to do and participate in is self-dishonest, because you know within yourself that the point you’re ‘fighting for’ is done only for ‘you to want to be right,’ because within yourself – you know that you may be mistaken:
Here – it is to take the stance as self-responsibility and stop yourself from accepting/allowing yourself to continue existing within such an act of self-dishonesty as continuing to want to force YOUR point of view, self honestly look within yourself with regards to what you’re actually doing – and change you within actually re-assessing the moment, the conversation and start again, ‘anew’ within yourself and the other being.
Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Responsibility as STOPPING SELF:
To simply ACT in the moment and within this action – be the directive principle as self to STOP self in the moment, instead of accepting and allowing self to be directed into and according to emotional-feeling reactions of Mind.
To do this, one is able to utilize breath to assist and support self to stabilize self Here, through taking a deep breath and within the inhaling – stop self – and within the exhaling, let all of the emotional-feeling compound-reaction go unconditionally and continue breathing here until you’re stable here and in this moment, ‘start again’ so to speak.
Statement 2:
This action of me wanting to push/force only MY view also indicating to me that I’m not HEARING HERE – therefore I immediately slow down here in and as breath, stop participating in the emotions/feelings rising up within me that I use to want to force/push MY point of view and unconditionally hear here as breath, what my mother is saying – and respond in common sense self stability here as breath = NO REACTION.
Understand that within this particular point also – the point of you wanting to push/force only your point of view, not hearing here; means that you actually ‘don’t want to hear’ what it is that your mother is saying, for example.
You deliberately not hear the words of your mother, you deliberately not hear the words coming from you, of you – and become completely possessed as this expression of self-interest of ‘wanting to be right’ no matter what the consequence as harm and abuse is done unto you and the other because of it.
You become possessed to such an extent – a literal ‘mind-takeover’ – that you do not ‘hear anything or anyone,’ including yourself and will continue to ‘fight, fight and fight’ – until ‘you win,’ until the other ‘give into’ your ‘self-interest,’ breaking them down emotionally to give into you: This is the nature of the ‘possession’ of ‘mind-takeover’ within the ‘fight to want to be right’ within pushing/forcing one’s point of view instead of considering the moment, yourself and the being equal and one here.
Such experiences of possession that manifest as you – simply indicating, from the ‘total existent experience of you as ‘who you accept and allow yourself to be’ = you’re still accepting/allowing yourself to believe that what you ‘experience’ within yourself within emotions/feelings and thoughts = is ‘you’, is ‘who you are’. And therefore – you will accept/allow yourself to in moments, accept/allow yourself to literally be ‘possessed’ by/through yourself as the mind as what you believe yourself to be, within accepting/allowing yourself to act within and as thoughts, emotions and feelings – only considering yourself, your own wants, needs and desires, for example: Wanting to be right. And for this ‘right’ you will ‘fight’ until you ‘get what you want’ – abusing and harming another as yourself within this accepted and allowed expression.
So therefore, it is to within the moments of conflicting situations – simply ‘assert-self’ in the moment and apply/live the statement, that you will not accept/allow yourself to act within, or become possessed by that which you believe yourself to be of the mind as thoughts, emotions and feelings that only create consequence of abuse and harm towards another as you. And stop yourself immediately within this assertiveness to consider the moment, the being and yourself equal and one here – and not only your own self-interest of mind.
Hear yourself, hear the other – be HEaR(E) as the moment – and stop yourself within self-assertiveness from accepting/allowing you to be possessed by yourself, but be the directive principle and stand within the living statement of not accepting/allowing self to act within self-interest of mind – but consider all equal and one here, to not accept/allow ‘self-experience’ to ‘override’ equality and oneness here in the moment, every moment.
When you see, you’re accepting and allowing yourself to be ‘possessed’ by yourself within emotions/feelings of mind as that which you believe yourself to be, deliberately not hearing yourself, the other and the moment that is here – because you’re within this ‘possession’ wanting to fight for your self-definition of ‘self-interest’ as the ‘fight to want to be right’:
Expression:
Self-Assertiveness to be the Directive Principle in considering the moment, self and the other equal and one Here, to not accept or allow self-interest to supersede equality and oneness here.
Practical Living Action of Expression as Self Assertiveness within Self-Directive-Principle
To, within the moment one see/realize that you’re accepting/allowing ‘possession’ within your accepted and allowed expression of acting within emotions/feelings of mind that literally ‘overtake’ you, wherein you hear nothing and is thus not ‘here’ as you continue to ‘want to fight to be right’ – acting thus in self-interest:
Assert yourself immediately and STOP YOURSELF from continuing to exist as and within the manifestation of you as possession of mind within the directive living-statement of you as not accepting/allowing yourself to exist within, act within or express emotions/feelings of mind that only lead to abuse and harm, but to consider you and the other as you as the moment equal and one here.
The actual action of you stopping you – you no more accepting/allowing yourself to be possessed in accepting/allowing yourself to exist within and act as emotions/feelings of mind that only manifests abuse and harm towards you and the other as you: Is you directing yourself. And to within the stopping, direct yourself, move you within and as you – to stand stable here – giving you the opportunity to express you equal and one here = instead of within self-interest of mind within the act of ‘fighting’ – transforming the moment from fighting into self-expression equal and one here within the living action of self-assertiveness within self-directive-principle as you.
Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action as Self-Assertiveness within Self-Directive-Principle:
The Practical Support is you, yourself – within assisting and supporting you through taking self-responsibility the moment you accept/allow yourself to act within emotions/feelings of mind – exerting it out onto/towards another that is you and stopping you from continuing to exist within, express as or act out your self-interest of mind.
Be ASSERTIVE – be the living-action as self-directive-principle and stop you from accepting/allowing possession of mind – to stand equal and one here as the moment, the being and yourself – and express you self-honestly here: Not within reaction – but stable directive-expression, that considers the moment, the being and yourself equal and one here.
Statement 3:
When I experience within me, that I am further accepting and allowing my emotions/feelings to compound within me, because of my experience towards my mother’s particular physical expressions in word and deed: I know that I am accepting and allowing myself to react in fear.
I immediately stop the moment I recognize this – because I know the fear that I am existing of/within is projecting her to be a ‘threat’ – when all the while it is me, reacting in accepted and allowed fear towards her.
What is stated for/as self within this statement – is to simply not accept or allow self to be directed by fear and the thoughts that arise that perpetuate fear, as within for example – reacting in fear because of a thought as assumption/perception arising, of your mother being a ‘threat’ based on her physical-expressions in word/deed.
Any thoughts or reactions projected towards another – reveal that the thought and reaction in itself is formed within assumption/perception as your ‘idea’ of what the other is expressing and also reveal what you accept and allow of yourself that the other is reflecting of yourself.
For example, an ‘idea’ is formed in your mind, manifested as thought, that your mother’s particular physical-expression is indicating ‘threat’ - when in fact – it is you, yourself within your accepted and allowed expression of self-interest within the stance of you as ‘wanting to be right’ which you ‘fight for’ within your particular physical-expression of word and deed, that is ‘threatening’ within your very ‘beingness’ in that moment = ‘threatening’ the other to submit to your explosive expression of emotions/feelings that you become possessed by to ‘win the fight of wanting to be right’.
At the same time, you’ll within yourself, through the mind – utilize this ‘excuse’ as ‘idea’ of it ‘being her that is the threat.’ creating ‘fear’ – to further justify, ‘why you must continue fighting to be right’ – supporting your self-definition of self-interest of mind: It’s all deliberate mind-tactics that is used/abused for beings to justify why they act/behave the way they do through the mind – through making the other the ‘perpetrator’ to use the idea you form of them in your mind as an excuse for why you act/behave the way you do within and as and through the mind.
Also what occurs with regards to the reaction of fear that manifests due to the idea as thought that manifests within assumption that your mother is a ‘threat’ – validating this idea as thought for yourself through basing her being a ‘threat’ on her particular physical-expression towards you:
Are you ‘fearing’ your ‘ego’ of self-interest being ‘threatened’ – from the perspective of ‘fearing losing the fight to be right’ – so you’d also, at the same time, utilize this ‘idea’ formed in yourself as your mother being a ‘threat’ to ‘go into defense-mode’ and further accelerate and perpetuate the emotions/feelings to continue becoming more and more reactive/explosive as a means to attempt to ‘win this battle’.
Therefore – when fear manifests due to a thought that manifests that is projected towards another: Do not accept/allow yourself to continue acting within this fear, as this is deliberate accepted and allowed self-dishonesty to only support your own self-interest of mind.
Observe the nature of the thought and the reaction that is created from it – in relation to yourself, and see what this thought and reaction is revealing about/of yourself as what you’re accepting/allowing, because the thought projected towards the other within yourself = is actually revealing what you’re accepting and allowing of yourself and has, in essence, got nothing to do with the other.
For example, the fact that your mother is a ‘threat’ – is an idea created in your own mind – she’s not a ‘threat,’ she’s only a ‘threat’ in your own mind as you created her to be in your mind, based on an idea you’ve formed of her physical-expression, wherein this idea as thought, is actually showing you, to yourself that you’re the one acting as a ‘threat’ – using your physical-expression in word and deed to attempt to be ‘threatening’ towards her, so she can ‘give in’ so that you can ‘win’ and be ‘right’ and exalt your own ego.
Therefore – whatever manifest in yourself through your mind that is projected towards another = is actually revealing you, to yourself with regards to what you’re accepting/allowing of yourself.
Thus, it is self-dishonest to utilize thoughts and reactions projected towards another as a means to support only your self-interest – abusing them within yourself, through using them as an excuse to exalt your own ego of mind.
Therefore:
STOP – be self-honest and simply not accept/allow yourself to react/act in fear – and observe self-honestly what it is that the thought/reaction is showing about/of yourself and assist and support you with self forgiveness and self-corrective action to no more accept/allow yourself to act within ‘ideas of assumption’ projected to/towards another in your own mind, to validate and justify and support your self-dishonest act of self-interest to ‘want to win’ or ‘want to be right’.
When an idea manifest as thought within your mind projected to/towards another, which manifest a reaction within you:
Expression:
Self Honesty to STOP you in the moment within not accepting or allowing yourself to act within the reaction created because of a thought as idea that manifested and projected towards another.
Practical Living Action of Expression:
Assess the thought and reaction self-honestly that manifested within you, from the perspective of identifying what it is revealing about/of yourself within the realization that the thought and reaction is actually about/of you, reflecting you back to you.
Practical Support to Apply the Practical Living Action:
Self forgiveness and self corrective action - to apply self forgiveness for/of, for example, the very act of using ideas of assumption, projected to/towards another to only support your ego in self-interest. Also utilizing self-forgiveness to assist and support self in identifying / seeing what it is that the thought and reaction is revealing about/of you, yourself that it is reflecting to/towards you, yourself. And self-corrective action of the self forgiveness applied to no more accept or allow self to act within ideas of assumption projected to/towards another – but to remain self honest here as breath in stability equal and one.
Bruce L.
Edited by: Darryl Thomas